The comment I was writing just disappeared somehow on my phone, and I'm tired, so I'm gonna keep it concise.
I've read this in many places, but I'll leave you with one resource that I can't really criticize much. He cites his sources on the bottom of the home page.
The Three Instincts - Enneagram Universe
Social:
"Possible examples of thoughts: Who are we? What do we have in common? What connects us? Are we an item? How close are we? Are we close enough that I can call them after 9 pm? Will anyone be there for me? Does that person have germs? Why isn’t she responding to my text? Why can’t I find anyone to hang out with? Did my boss get me a birthday card? Why can’t we spend quality time? Do I have these people under control?
Concrete examples: Asking a person how they are, active listening, friendships and close bonds, family, power seeking, group leading, group control, teaching, lecturing, imparting, social media, providing, making a difference, making an impact."
Sexual:
"Possible examples of thoughts: Is this exciting to me? Do I crave it? Do they crave me? How deep can I penetrate this? Why aren’t they hooked on me? Will they be turned off if I do this?
Concrete examples: Pushing a person’s boundaries, trying to get a rise out of someone, invading their comfort zone, locking someone into you."
As you can see, connection is not the same as chemistry. That's why I refer to sexuals as "seeking an outlet to plug into." They want juice. Socials on the other hand are looking for connection and
reciprocity of care. That's not to say sexuals don't care about their intimates or want to be cared about, but social blinds drastically neglect to nurture their
connections.
You can think of it similarly to (one of) the descriptions of Fe vs Fi, the space
between vs. the space
within. Fe wants things between people to be cohesive, and Fi wants inner cohesion. Similarly, social wants the space between people to be
mutually supported, and sexual wants to
feel enlivened by the other.
That is why Sp/Sx has been loosely accused of being the most selfish/self-centered instinctual stack. It's using Sx to meet the needs of Sp, so it's using seduction and objectification to serve self-preservation, which
very roughly translates into "I'm willing to use you for juice in order to meet my need for security."
Vampires are a wonderful archetypal example of Sp/Sx, seducing a vixen in order to suck her blood and continue to thrive.
Now obviously, some people like that sort of thing, and none of the above means that sexuals don't care about their relationships, it just that they measure the health in terms of "juice" and not reciprocity of care.