Hey guys. Was looking for some advice on a INFP girl ive been dating. Started dating her in June so its been a around 2 and a half months now. The first dates when well, got on great. She
didn't want to have sex the first night, which was different for me. The following weeks into the dating, when trying to go out with her, she wanted to avoid walking around the town centre
incase her ex seen us together. I pulled her up about this and she explained she the breakup with him is still quite fresh and she doesn't want to hurt him. Another thing that bothered me was driving to
pick up a pizza once, she said "i hope my Dad doesn't see me here". I kinda through me, as i was taking up and paying for this food, and all she mentioned was worried about her parent seeing her
in the car with me. This started to get my mind going, the relationship started to get into my head. I asked her about this and she said she wants to make sure i stick around, before introducing me.
She seems very jumpy around her phone, and doesnt use it in my presence and always has it on silent, noticed a few times she was making sure the screen was pointing away form me.
With the other alarm bells going off, i started to wonder if she was messaging other people. She has said to me she has alot of lad mates. When i brought up if anyone else was on the radar, she replied,
'not really' i kinda joked about that comment and left it at that.5 weeks into the relationship i still feeling kinda uncomfortable with certain things, i started to notice she wasn't replying as fast with messages,
still fast but i dunno noticed a different, she would leave my messages longer before reading them on whats app. I started to get more and more paranoid she was talking to other lads. This coupled with the fact,
i had taken her out for loads of meals, spent quite a bit of money, and on the 5ths week she arranged with her mates to go out into the town on a night out. That was fine, but i dunno, she has been paid,
she knew i was skint, and i kinda felt a bit unappreciated and maybe she would now return the favour and want to do something with me
The relationship started to get into my head, i wasn't feeling uncomfortable with certain things. There was a lack of trust for me, even thou she was saying she had 'deep feel for me, missed me and wanted to
be with me, i dunno, her actions did not add up. Something just didnt feel right. So i kinda said i just wanna be friends 2 weeks ago and expressed it was because i was unhappy. She wouldent have it,
and just kept ringing and messaging me that night, saying how good were together, and we could be something great and that i should talk to her through the problems. I decided to give it another shot.
Another week later, i noticed had noticed some things again, mainly not messaging back as fast, being more distant, my messaging not going though for 6 hours, i just started to get paranoid. I felt it wasnt
right again, and so called it off and said we should be friends again. She wouldn't have it again, and kept chasing, not as intense as the first time. She asked why i was doing this to her,
I told her i was still unhappy, and the things i bought up last night nothing had changed. She asked what i wanted, if i wanted to be with her properly. I brought up all the things that where bothering me on a message, but she only replied and answered half of them. That was on the Thursday.
We didnt speak for a day, i started to feel kinda hurt by the whole thing, feeling crap, started thinking about where it went wrong. Started to miss her. She messaged me on the sunday.
asking it i would please talk to her, and if im ok. I replied, she said she missed me, and when i expressed i missed her she replied that 'shes glad because it hurt her'. But she needs someone
constant, and she thought that was me. I do realise INFP needs to feel safe, secure, i kinda do too thou, i dont wanna get burnt either. Tuesday night, she came round. Everything seamed fine,
she was very affectionate, kissing all the time, touching all the time, looking into my eyes, laughing at my jokes. When she got home that night, she messaged me " i had a really good night tonight",
"was great cuddling you and being next to you"
Yesterday we was messaging in the morning, back and too. At 12 i got a reply, "Ive gone home sick from work, its the pill it makes me sick, going to go bed". I replied asking if there was anything i could do the help.
She replied an hour later saying no its ok im just gonna start in bed. I replied again saying "ok if u change your mind and need anything, let me know.Ive been thinking of you today". I didn't get a reply from that last message
that i sent at 2pm, but i kept noticing she had been online on whats app. I was wondering what was going on. I finally got a message back7 hours later, after she had been online to reply anyway. She said "Thanks Matt,
i just slept most of the time, feel better now. Hope your ok my love. I will message you in the morning" and then put a love heart on the end.
I just cant weigh anything up with the girl. I've got the thing in my head im being played. Im wondering if anyone maybe has advice for me on this situation, maybe had similar experience with an INFP women?
Thank you
didn't want to have sex the first night, which was different for me. The following weeks into the dating, when trying to go out with her, she wanted to avoid walking around the town centre
incase her ex seen us together. I pulled her up about this and she explained she the breakup with him is still quite fresh and she doesn't want to hurt him. Another thing that bothered me was driving to
pick up a pizza once, she said "i hope my Dad doesn't see me here". I kinda through me, as i was taking up and paying for this food, and all she mentioned was worried about her parent seeing her
in the car with me. This started to get my mind going, the relationship started to get into my head. I asked her about this and she said she wants to make sure i stick around, before introducing me.
She seems very jumpy around her phone, and doesnt use it in my presence and always has it on silent, noticed a few times she was making sure the screen was pointing away form me.
With the other alarm bells going off, i started to wonder if she was messaging other people. She has said to me she has alot of lad mates. When i brought up if anyone else was on the radar, she replied,
'not really' i kinda joked about that comment and left it at that.5 weeks into the relationship i still feeling kinda uncomfortable with certain things, i started to notice she wasn't replying as fast with messages,
still fast but i dunno noticed a different, she would leave my messages longer before reading them on whats app. I started to get more and more paranoid she was talking to other lads. This coupled with the fact,
i had taken her out for loads of meals, spent quite a bit of money, and on the 5ths week she arranged with her mates to go out into the town on a night out. That was fine, but i dunno, she has been paid,
she knew i was skint, and i kinda felt a bit unappreciated and maybe she would now return the favour and want to do something with me
The relationship started to get into my head, i wasn't feeling uncomfortable with certain things. There was a lack of trust for me, even thou she was saying she had 'deep feel for me, missed me and wanted to
be with me, i dunno, her actions did not add up. Something just didnt feel right. So i kinda said i just wanna be friends 2 weeks ago and expressed it was because i was unhappy. She wouldent have it,
and just kept ringing and messaging me that night, saying how good were together, and we could be something great and that i should talk to her through the problems. I decided to give it another shot.
Another week later, i noticed had noticed some things again, mainly not messaging back as fast, being more distant, my messaging not going though for 6 hours, i just started to get paranoid. I felt it wasnt
right again, and so called it off and said we should be friends again. She wouldn't have it again, and kept chasing, not as intense as the first time. She asked why i was doing this to her,
I told her i was still unhappy, and the things i bought up last night nothing had changed. She asked what i wanted, if i wanted to be with her properly. I brought up all the things that where bothering me on a message, but she only replied and answered half of them. That was on the Thursday.
We didnt speak for a day, i started to feel kinda hurt by the whole thing, feeling crap, started thinking about where it went wrong. Started to miss her. She messaged me on the sunday.
asking it i would please talk to her, and if im ok. I replied, she said she missed me, and when i expressed i missed her she replied that 'shes glad because it hurt her'. But she needs someone
constant, and she thought that was me. I do realise INFP needs to feel safe, secure, i kinda do too thou, i dont wanna get burnt either. Tuesday night, she came round. Everything seamed fine,
she was very affectionate, kissing all the time, touching all the time, looking into my eyes, laughing at my jokes. When she got home that night, she messaged me " i had a really good night tonight",
"was great cuddling you and being next to you"
Yesterday we was messaging in the morning, back and too. At 12 i got a reply, "Ive gone home sick from work, its the pill it makes me sick, going to go bed". I replied asking if there was anything i could do the help.
She replied an hour later saying no its ok im just gonna start in bed. I replied again saying "ok if u change your mind and need anything, let me know.Ive been thinking of you today". I didn't get a reply from that last message
that i sent at 2pm, but i kept noticing she had been online on whats app. I was wondering what was going on. I finally got a message back7 hours later, after she had been online to reply anyway. She said "Thanks Matt,
i just slept most of the time, feel better now. Hope your ok my love. I will message you in the morning" and then put a love heart on the end.
I just cant weigh anything up with the girl. I've got the thing in my head im being played. Im wondering if anyone maybe has advice for me on this situation, maybe had similar experience with an INFP women?
Thank you