For someone who claims to instinctively hate and buck authority and control, you actually seem to understand it and approach it fairly respectably. To the point where it seems like you buck authority and rules intentionally, not out of a gut reaction. Why is that?
I don't see you as nearly of a loose cannon as you claim (and that's a good thing in my book).
I hate authority and control when it comes to me. I dont like being forced to do something that I dont like or want. I also realize that just because I dont like it, doesn't mean others dont like it to. I ALSO realize that, the more humans there are, the more need for authority and control there needs to be. Otherwise humanity would ensue in chaos. (Living with J's most of my life has practically forced me to see the good in submitting to authority. Doesnt help that translated subconsciously into the bedroom scene)
I am a loose cannon,only when it comes to me. Only me. My decision that affect mostly me.
When others are evolved I try to reign back .I try to be considerate of others. But I am also aware that I am a bit strange. So If I do the favor to reign myself back, I feel it is the other parties responsibility to try to be understanding. I adhere judgement above all else. I dont like judging systems and people on first glance. I am aware that "not everything is as it seems" on the surface.
I guess I dont hold the things I believe in as a comparison to others. I may not like something, but that doesnt means it's bad. Just a preference.
Coming back to the loose cannon comment. I am a loose cannon. Please, come and see me on the dance floor inebriated.
Edit:
I just realised that I didnt even answer the question correctly.
you actually seem to understand it and approach it fairly respectably. To the point where it seems like you buck authority and rules intentionally, not out of a gut reaction. Why is that?
I do understand authority, I respect it. It's that thing where "you hate your enemy but you respect their tactical decisions" sort of ordeal.
I intentionally buck authority because thats how you can test out its reactions. I dont want to test it out too much, otherwise I might get being fucked over in the bad end, or even worst, accidentally overthrow and become the authoritative figure. I dont want that. I just want to play devils advocate.