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How to be less negative?

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
Joined
Jun 29, 2010
Messages
3,031
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I don't know if it is life experiences or what, but negativity often comes out of my speech. Once I realize it, I wonder why I am talking this way.

A while back, a friend of mine told me "Happy Valentines Day", and proceeded to give me some candy. And before I knew it, I said that I didn't believe in Valentines Day.... *shudders*. When I thought about it... I was like that is no way to be talking to a friend that was giving you candy. Maybe I didn't like the day, but hey, she was being kind. The contrast between her and I is readily apparent when I am with her, she is overwhelmingly upbeat with people while I am often quite reserved (not sure how to talk.)

I've been trying to be less negative around people, and her, but there is an undercurrent of negativity and negative thought I have been trying to change especially during times that I notice it occurring.

What ways have TypoC used to be more positive? Waking up during the day with a positive attitude? (Rather than waking up grouchy or flat[what I like to call sleepy]) Using more positive words when you can instead of negative ones? Changing bad experiences to positive ones? (I didn't do good this time, but this was a good experience for.....) Reinforcing good attitudes by rewarding it with favorite candy, drinks, food, or entertainment?

EDIT:7 Negative People You Need To Ignore I just found this. :laugh: I'm not a negative person, per se, but the negativity that I am surrounded by gets a hold of me.
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I don't know. I think it's inborn to some degree. I don't think I'm particularly optimistic (I see it more as being idealistically real :D ) but others see me like that.

The upside of being negative (oops sorry!) is that you notice problems or potential problems quickly and want to fix them, right?

I did laugh about the Valentine's thing. I don't celebrate either but when my INFP gave me candy my first reaction was "Ooh! Candy!" :happy2: (especially the dark chocolate and raspberry...ne'er had that before).

Yeah...I know this wasn't particularly helpful. Sorry. :(
 

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
Joined
Jun 29, 2010
Messages
3,031
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I don't know. I think it's inborn to some degree. I don't think I'm particularly optimistic (I see it more as being idealistically real :D ) but others see me like that.

The upside of being negative (oops sorry!) is that you notice problems or potential problems quickly and want to fix them, right?

I did laugh about the Valentine's thing. I don't celebrate either but when my INFP gave me candy my first reaction was "Ooh! Candy!" :happy2: (especially the dark chocolate and raspberry...ne'er had that before).

Yeah...I know this wasn't particularly helpful. Sorry. :(

Right when I posted this, I think I found the solution (which happens a lot of times.) I think it is the negative people that is influencing me the reason I have negative thoughts. Not enough positive people. The person I met is one of those positive people that just made me realize how negative I have become.

Probably going to find ways to keep negative people at bay. :D
 

Evo

Unapologetic being
Joined
Jul 1, 2011
Messages
3,160
MBTI Type
XNTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I don't know if it is life experiences or what, but negativity often comes out of my speech. Once I realize it, I wonder why I am talking this way.

A while back, a friend of mine told me "Happy Valentines Day", and proceeded to give me some candy. And before I knew it, I said that I didn't believe in Valentines Day.... *shudders*. When I thought about it... I was like that is no way to be talking to a friend that was giving you candy. Maybe I didn't like the day, but hey, she was being kind. The contrast between her and I is readily apparent when I am with her, she is overwhelmingly upbeat with people while I am often quite reserved (not sure how to talk.)

I've been trying to be less negative around people, and her, but there is an undercurrent of negativity and negative thought I have been trying to change especially during times that I notice it occurring.

What ways have TypoC used to be more positive? Waking up during the day with a positive attitude? (Rather than waking up grouchy or flat[what I like to call sleepy]) Using more positive words when you can instead of negative ones? Changing bad experiences to positive ones? (I didn't do good this time, but this was a good experience for.....) Reinforcing good attitudes by rewarding it with favorite candy, drinks, food, or entertainment?

I have a *very* hard time not coming off negative.

I probably would have done the same thing you did. lol Maybe even worse. But the thing is, that on the inside, I feel fine...while on the outside I'm coming off like I'm just an anger ball all the time.:(

I am excellent in finding flaws...but I have to remind myself that it's not productive to do so around others.

So about a year ago I was trying to figuring out why my friend (who's a 2) had such a cheery disposition, like ALL the time. And I finally came to the conclusion that it's just the way I am.

So to level out my negativity I lay in bed just a couple minutes longer than I used to. And during that time I consciously make an effort, and straight-up decide to be happy. Also one time I found some youtube videos on Dr. Aymee Coget, and she somewhat explained the science behind happiness, which seemed to help for me as well.

Anyways, I don't know if I'll ever be as cheery as my friend, honestly. (I say this because if I skip a day or two of this....I start to come off as negative again.)

But it's better than my normal negative re-activeness :shrug:

Hope that helps.
 
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