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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    I don't even know how to recognize this disorder. I suspect a few of my clients of having it. I've heard other counsellors mention its not worth counselling them because they are bad for business.
    Are you a peer counselor or a guidance counselor?

  2. #62
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    Because they often don't get better because they don't want to get better, and blame every one else. I mean put yourself in the string of therapists your student dumps on a whim because she doesn't like what they say. It's extremely difficult to work with a patient who doesn't really want help.
    There are effective therapies these days for BPD, so getting better is definitely possible, and therapy certainly helps; it was once thought that BPD was untreatable, but that's generally no longer the case. Also, it's reported that people with BPD tend to mellow somewhat as they age, so that helps, too (and may make someone more amenable to therapy as time goes by).

    Still, BPD sometimes went by the nickname "the obnoxious patient" before it became a formalized diagnosis, and there's definitely truth to the fact working with someone with BPD takes a lot of time, energy and boundary enforcing. I know older therapists who refer patients with BPD to their younger colleagues because of the time and energy sometimes required. I've heard that helping someone with BPD can be very satisfying, because there is real pain there to alleviated (and pain to the patient's loved ones, friends and/or coworkers, as well).
    Last edited by Seymour; 11-04-2013 at 03:07 PM.

  3. #63
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    Why did it sting? Are you borderline?
    No, because of empathy and concern. I'm more like the opposite problem if anything.

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    They're not worth it because they take your advice, go use it, screw it up, then blame you for all their problems that ultimately will never be fixed.

    They also cling to you and become dependant and want to follow you everywhere in real life. What's that movie with billy crystal?

    Your girlfriend is mad at you, you get fired from every job for being a douche, you're a lost soul and not sure what to do with your life, people act a certain way around you and you don't know why, you're not sure what career you should take...

    Regular people problems. Those are what I fix. Anything more than that requires chemicals and support groups, neither of which counsellors or life coaches provide. It is difficult when clients come to me looking for help in general, and don't even know what the issue is. You listen for hours in the hopes that it will eventually surface, but it never does, and then they get angry because they are spending money by the hour and neither of you has figured out what their problem is.

    Even those who simply want someone to listen to them... I feel guilty doing that, because you are paying me to be your friend, which puts me in an awkward position as well.

    (speaking of which I'm overdue to set up a referral with a psychiatrist and some support groups).
    Oh, so basically they need a referral to a psychiatrist? Or a clinical psychologist? That is a completely different issue.
    Quote Originally Posted by Marmotini View Post
    Because they often don't get better because they don't want to get better, and blame every one else. I mean put yourself in the string of therapists your student dumps on a whim because she doesn't like what they say. It's extremely difficult to work with a patient who doesn't really want help.
    I can understand that it would be, and that each case is different. Many people could be impossible to deal with I'm sure.

    My personal anecdote might not be representative, although it is the therapists that usually reject my student. She is banned from a few clinics. I'm definitely not a therapist, but my connection with her works and she has dumped on me, yelled at me, told me some rather difficult things. She is only one case, but I do believe strongly in the Carl Rogers approach. I use it as a teacher, and I think the principles are effective in counseling as well.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  4. #64
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    I like to think that borderline personality disorder is a condition where a person is on the border of whether or not having a personality.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #65
    Member Triforce's Avatar
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    Does she have scars on her arms?

  6. #66
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Triforce View Post
    Does she have scars on her arms?
    he- and no, I don't think anything like that.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  7. #67
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    oopsie- double post
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  8. #68
    Member Triforce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AzulEyes View Post
    he- and no, I don't think anything like that.
    Does he have a tendency to follow after once you leave a room for whats intended to be a short period of time? And he knows. Do you get the sence that he does not want to be alone at all. That fear of abandonment thing.

  9. #69
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Triforce View Post
    Does he have a tendency to follow after once you leave a room for whats intended to be a short period of time? And he knows. Do you get the sence that he does not want to be alone at all. That fear of abandonment thing.
    We live in different cities- much of our interaction is over the phone or text or email too. I had tried to mend our friendship. I just had a blow up with him this week- I think this is it for our friendship. The cruelty that apparently he enjoys inflicting on me- he can inflict on himself. I'm done.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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  10. #70
    Senior Member AzulEyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Santtu View Post
    I like to think that borderline personality disorder is a condition where a person is on the border of whether or not having a personality.
    Honestly- I don't know if you were being sarcastic or not- but this actually resonates with me. I often get a catatonic feel from my friend. I also get a flat feel- total lack of empathy or emotion. YET- if I do or say anything that either displays my emotion (God forbid i display anger, frustration, love, empathy, disgust) and it's something in his sensitive spot - he flies into a rage and tries to use mental tactics to hurt me. I'm fairly sick of this part- cuz I don't take to mental abuse too well. That's why I essentially gave him the middle finger and said good luck finding a friend like me that cares this much about you. Anyhoooo- I digress. But honestly- sometimes it does feel like the personality is fabricated or ebbs and flows depending on who he is dealing with. Not in touch with his own personality / identity. Frustrating.
    It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

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