You're not young anymore...

[nightning]

Prompted by Mempy's thread: http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...ics/11384-taking-yourself-less-seriously.html

This is sort of the reverse of what Mempy experiences. How do you deal with people that tells you to "grow up"? Essentially how do you shake the notion that you're "young"?

I enjoy being silly and doing random things in my spare time. I like watching kids shows, bounces along to say Blues Clues on TV. Yes, I sometimes act like peter pan... a kid that never grew up, however I only do so in my spare time. I have no problems switching back and forth between "adult" mode and "kiddy" mode. The sticking point here is that other people might not see it that way. A kid's a kid, never to be taken too seriously.

This is probably a none too common issue, but anybody else had this experience? Also are there ways to "fix" it? And no, I would not take on traditional pastimes simply because they're "acceptable". My free time is my own to use.

 

[prplchknz]

if it's not bothering any one, I see why not. of course if I don't want to do anything I say I'm too old. "I don't want to drive I'm too old" of course those sort of things get strange looks. "I don't want to walk 20 feet to go get that pencil that rolled, I'm too old for that" then people are like you're 22, I'm like yes but I'm old. but do I enjoy my life and maybe I don't act the most mature at times, but I know how to, and i think that's what matters.

 

[ptgatsby]

I recently turned 30. My dad knows I watch anime, which to him is cartoons... So I kind of hear that from time to time.

It's funny, because I have a strange relationship with my dad. I don't respect his personal life much, but I have huge respect for his professional abilities. And I think he thinks much the same of me, even if he wouldn't admit it. He sees me holding onto childish things, acting silly and all that... but he doesn't know my professional side because it's not something we talk about.

Heh, I also sometimes get it from my wife. I'm a huge... actor, I suppose. I love doing things big when I do them. When I do fireworks, I want to buy hundreds and hundreds of dollars, link them together, etc. (a recent example, actually). I turn into a little kid in a candy store every single time I get an idea.

The reactions are not always positive, especially since most people consider me reserved and serious... until they hear my exploits Then they think I'm 'kiddish'. Has a huge impact on people's heuristics though - you can see them taking you less seriously.

 

[King sns]

If someone tells you to "grow up" for being childlike and carefree, then I think you should blow them off and disregard it as their own problem. There's a difference between being childish and childlike. Childish: Selfish, whiny, self-centered brat. Childlike: Fun, carefree, silly, playful, and happy. I think that society places too much of an emphasis on being serious business like all the time, which is unnatural and against human nature. Also there's no balance in being that way. If you want to be a kid in your spare time, and can switch to adult mode when needed, you should!! Anyone who has something against it is just jealous cause you're having too much fun.

 

[entropie]

I just wanted to add, I dont know the point in not acting childlike and being responsible at the same time.

Grand master of this is him:

 

[Anonymous]

I've never really acted childlike in some of the ways being described here, not even as a child, but I do feel a lag between my mental age and physical age. I see the way that a 19 year old guy should be, but then, in my head, I still feel emotionally immature, weak, and incapable. I wonder if that's reflected externally. People are still sometimes surprised when I tell them that I'm 19, thinking that I'm older, but I think that's because of my physical appearance.

 

[nightning]

I've never really acted childlike in some of the ways being described here, not even as a child, but I do feel a lag between my mental age and physical age. I see the way that a 19 year old guy should be, but then, in my head, I still feel emotionally immature, weak, and incapable. I wonder if that's reflected externally. People are still sometimes surprised when I tell them that I'm 19, thinking that I'm older, but I think that's because of my physical appearance.

*nods* People look and see what they expected to see and looks no further. Confirmatory biases kills, but there seems to be no way to remove them. In that case how can we play up on it? Actively work on improving our skills?

I suspect 10 or 20 years down the road, I'll be glad that I look young. But right now, it's a hassle.

 

[PuddleRiver]

There's nothing wrong with being young at heart. That's not immaturity, immaturity is.

 

[Anonymous]

*nods* People look and see what they expected to see and looks no further. Confirmatory biases kills, but there seems to be no way to remove them. In that case how can we play up on it? Actively work on improving our skills?

I suspect 10 or 20 years down the road, I'll be glad that I look young. But right now, it's a hassle.

I never really thought about it like that, but it makes sense. I'm not sure if anyone treats me differently based on the fact that I look a bit older, though. But then, I have nothing to compare it to, so I guess I don't know. Sometimes I wish I could temporarily change myself in some way or another just to see how differently I would be treated...

Also, just thinking, but I wonder if people are more likely to change what they thought from expectations if you let them down rather than are better than their expectations. For instance, if they think you're going to be great and turn out to be a loser, they may change their mind more readily than if they expected you to be a loser and turned out to be great.

 

[Kasper]

I find this is the best reaction when told to grow up;

 

[ajblaise]

Growing up = giving up.

 

[A Schnitzel]

I enjoy growing up in some ways, but still act like a kid in certain situations.

You can get the best of both worlds.

 

[01011010]

I recently turned 30. My dad knows I watch anime, which to him is cartoons... So I kind of hear that from time to time.

Don't worry. I'm almost 25 and I watch anime. My close friends are in my age range (23-27) and we go to anime conventions. That's far more geeky and childish than just watching it. Though, I only watch anime in intervals. Basically, until I burn out. Then I break for months.

 

[kyuuei]

I pray that I never become so grown up that I refuse to accept the things I truly like. I also rue the day that I allow my child-like mind to hinder the things I truly enjoy about being an adult.

 

[cherchair]

You're not young anymore

I pray that I never become so grown up that I refuse to accept the things I truly like. I also rue the day that I allow my child-like mind to hinder the things I truly enjoy about being an adult.

Well said.

 

[Siegfried]

Well said.

Maturing is good, but one should never lose their zest for life, or all the colours of life fade to nothingness.

 

[kiddykat]

Man, "Forever young at heart!" That's my motto. I don't care what others say. Nothing feels better than to keep that spirit alive!

 

[Brendan]

I'm getting the impression that being child-like is an achievement.

 

[Jack Flak]

I'm getting the impression that being child-like is an achievement.

It is. Look at the elderly.

 

[wolfy]

Man, "Forever young at heart!" That's my motto. I don't care what others say. Nothing feels better than to keep that spirit alive!

Yeah!