[INTP] Younger INTPs: Prone to sulking?

[Such Irony]

Not really. I'm 13.

I would have guessed much older than that. You have a great deal of wisdom for someone your age. Its great to have a teenager who is so not the stereotype.

 

[King sns]

Not really. I'm 13.

You are 13??? Awesome! You are making a great impression so far!

 

[skylights]

sulkmaster checking in. i mean i don't want to call it sulking because i don't isolate myself in order to influence other people. but it gets interpreted that way in the greater world so yeah, sulking.

yeah, that seems like an F thing to do. sulking so someone notices.

my INTP brother's a mid-teen now, he doesn't do sulking in a social sense. sometimes he gets pissed or bored and complains or does his own thing, but i'm pretty sure he does that regardless of anyone being around.

 

[Sosekopp]

I am a 16 year old INxP, and I sulk now and then. This is usually what happens:
People (usually my exquisitely manipulative but otherwise nice older brother) getting me to make commitments I can't live up to --> Me realising I can't live up to the commitments I have made, and having nobody to blame other than myself, I try to run away from the commitments in some way.

 

[Macabre]

INTP's sulk? nah... not that i know. maybe I sit back a bit, 15-20 mins or so... then I've probably forgotten whatever it was. is this normal? a friend of mine is an infp & he get depressed for days on end. not really our kinda thing. (although I only know 4-5 INTPs (me, my sis and some relatives and 1 friend) so my persp. is pretty limited)

 

[93JC]

Less often than people think. In my mind sulking implies a kind of morose reasoning behind being aloof and withdrawn. I'm already aloof and withdraw from people, relationships, conversations, etc. quite often, but I don't do it because I'm resentful or sad or whatever. I mostly do it because I just don't have anything left to say or do with someone.

Once in a while, once in a long long while, I'll 'sulk'.

In relationships (platonic or romantic) looking back I find that when I have felt wronged or attacked by the other person, I instinctively withdraw into myself and cut all means of contact with them during this time. In some ways I feel that in doing so, I'm "hurting" them so that they feel as dismayed as they have made me.

I used to do this when I was younger. Somewhere along the line I realized it never worked. It always hurt me more than it ever hurt them. Always.

 

[greenfairy]

I'm definitely more a belligerent arguer than a sulker. If I don't want to deal with someone (usually my parents or my emotional, snappish INFP cousin) I'll avoid them, but it's not to get them to notice and pay attention to me. I really want them to leave me alone.

Although in intimate/romantic relationships I have an unfortunate tendency to be the exact opposite of the aloof, withdrawn, INTP who needs space. I want to be with them all the time, and if they are busy I get afraid they have stopped liking me. I just always expect rejection, which is why I'm not more social- and in an intimate relationship I assume it's safe to spend a lot of time together without bothering the other person- as opposed to bothering people I want to be my friends and who maybe don't want to. I have issues. In these cases where I perceive rejection out of paranoia I sulk a little bit, to try to show how "independent" and not clingy I am.

 

[open-close]

I doubt I would be perceived as sulky because people would be used to the withdrawal, and they wouldn't dream I was doing it because of emotion, as I appear very unemotional.

How I deal with things depends on the cause.
--When I am stressed on schoolwork or things out of my control, I tend to revert to my tert & inf functions (Ni/Te) and go into total INTJ mode - getting things done, cleaning, organizing and planning. It's rather convenient, actually.
--If I'm trying to work through emotions I don't understand, I generally analyze in my regular mindset and try to work out why I feel them and whether it's reasonable to do so or will do any good.
--I've had very few interpersonal relationship issues because of commitment issues. I can definitely picture myself "debating with myself" (convincing, then switching sides) belligerently in relationship issues - "Well, this is your fault, you should have done this, this and this, while I should have done this because...- really? you agree? But this part wouldn't work because this! ha!" and once I've done that, go bazonkers and try to prove a stupid point with big words just to see if they catch on. Fighting, INTP fashion I cannot, however, picture myself withdrawing/sulking and staying emotional, because the reason I withdraw is to think things over, and I can't see myself staying emotional if I did that.
-- I had issues with existential depression in the past. I would occasionally get into a cycle where I didn't understand why I was upset (because I can't understand why!), which would upset me. Slowed thoughts, dropped grades/times, etc, but although I appeared more snappish/uncooperative/reclusive, I don't think I sulked.

 

[Philosorapteuse]

I definitely do this if I'm not in a position to fight back, which is my first instinct. I think it's more "smouldering" than "sulking" - I'm silently angry rather than moping or feeling sorry for myself, but it probably counts as sulking. I just grow foot-long spikes after an argument and can't bear company. Anyone who tries to be around me after an argument is at best going to be requested to leave, and at worst get their head bitten off. Curiously, I find I do it more now that I'm older, because there are many more situations where I don't think it's appropriate for me to snap back, or where I've learnt that the fight just isn't worth having. Unfortunately, learning the ability to keep my temper in hand and act like an adult doesn't mean that I feel it any less, so it burns under the surface and takes a fair while to go out. This is why I have no patience with people who excuse themselves for lashing out at people with "well I have a hot temper, you wouldn't understand." Oh, I would. I really, really would. It's just that I've made the effort to take the hit for my character flaw myself, rather than throwing it at everyone around me. Not goddamn good enough.

Of course, I don't always manage this. :\ And I definitely sulk when I've been smacked down or "corrected" in my behaviour/attitude or otherwise treated as a child. It can last for days, and I have to make a conscious effort to get over it, and even then I can rekindle resentment from years and years ago just by remembering it. "It has always been my study to avoid those faults which expose a strong understanding to ridicule. My temper, however, I cannot vouch for. It might be called... resentful." Not one of my favourite traits. So possibly what we can draw from this is that I'm really Mr Darcy at his worst.

 

[Fluffywolf]

I don't think it's sulking what we INTP's do. We don't do it in order to gain sympathy or because we feel resentful towards someone.

We are just naturally aloof, because we're always busy thinking.

But it's not sulking.

Who is this, I don't even. Whoever wrote that post was not in his right mind, or was, ironically, sulking himself.

 

[Cellmold]

Ive never really associated INTP's with sulking....maybe 'im smarter than you nee-naw-nee-naw' syndrome but not sulking.

 

[herbpixie]

My first instinct is to lash out and argue, but I have to be pretty upset to get to that point. If for some reason I cannot do that, I will withdraw, but, like other posters, I wouldn't call it sulking because it's not a secret ploy to manipulate people. I just need to sit back and think through my feelings to work out if my own emotional reaction is warranted in the situation. Sometimes I withdraw from really emotional situations to allow the other person time to calm down.

 

[Wolfie]

I have had this sort of problem over and over again as a young person. I think (at 23) that I'm just beginning to be able to turn it around a bit. I don't think it comes down exclusively to my personality, being an INTP, (I'm not 100% sure I am one), but also comes from particular life experiences.

In relationships that I've begun to retreat from, I find myself obsessing over the thoughts "Is there something wrong with me? Is this my fault? Is this their fault?" In these relationships I begin to feel, based on my own rigid principles, that they are doing something wrong and I don't want to deal with them any longer. When I was younger I would immediately disconnect but as I've gotten older, I will give more "chances" and retreat a bit slower.

As it has happened time and time again, I am constantly scrutinizing myself, thinking I am being unfair, or that I am not operating relationships normally. But whenever I reassess the situations in my head, I still feel that the other person has done something wrong and that I am right. I haven't quite figured out what exactly is going on and I continue to battle with myself over this!

 

[Fluffywolf]

I have had this sort of problem over and over again as a young person. I think (at 23) that I'm just beginning to be able to turn it around a bit. I don't think it comes down exclusively to my personality, being an INTP, (I'm not 100% sure I am one), but also comes from particular life experiences.

In relationships that I've begun to retreat from, I find myself obsessing over the thoughts "Is there something wrong with me? Is this my fault? Is this their fault?" In these relationships I begin to feel, based on my own rigid principles, that they are doing something wrong and I don't want to deal with them any longer. When I was younger I would immediately disconnect but as I've gotten older, I will give more "chances" and retreat a bit slower.

As it has happened time and time again, I am constantly scrutinizing myself, thinking I am being unfair, or that I am not operating relationships normally. But whenever I reassess the situations in my head, I still feel that the other person has done something wrong and that I am right. I haven't quite figured out what exactly is going on and I continue to battle with myself over this!

A third wolf! We'll make a real pack yet on typologycentral. Welcome!

Also, your post does seem very INTP. So that definately seems a good possibility. If the "based on my own rigid principles, that they are doing something wrong" stems from a more unconscious issue (dissassociation or evasion), rather than Fi. If it's true Fi you might be INFP though, but generaly INFP's have a stronger sense of Fi and wouldn't likely resort to such unhealthy levels of Fi very easily, so I give it more chance that it stems from the subconscious. For example, being enneagram type 1 might explain this. Possibly with 9 wing. Or perhaps enneagram type 9 with 1 wing.

 

[Wolfie]

A third wolf! We'll make a real pack yet on typologycentral. Welcome!

Also, your post does seem very INTP. So that definately seems a good possibility. If the "based on my own rigid principles, that they are doing something wrong" stems from a more unconscious issue (dissassociation or evasion), rather than Fi. If it's true Fi you might be INFP though, but generaly INFP's have a stronger sense of Fi and wouldn't likely resort to such unhealthy levels of Fi very easily, so I give it more chance that it stems from the subconscious. For example, being enneagram type 1 might explain this. Possibly with 9 wing. Or perhaps enneagram type 9 with 1 wing.

Hi, thanks for welcoming me! It's always a relief to find a pack.

Sounds interesting/helpful! I just have to ask, as I'm new to all the typology stuff, what does Fi mean? Sorry if that's a basic question.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Hi, thanks for welcoming me! It's always a relief to find a pack.

Sounds interesting/helpful! I just have to ask, as I'm new to all the typology stuff, what does Fi mean? Sorry if that's a basic question.

INTP's are Ti Dominant (Introverted Thinking), INFPs are Fi Dominant (Introverted Feeling).

Fi: Fi filters information based on interpretations of worth, forming judgments according to criteria that are often intangible. Fi constantly balances an internal set of values such as harmony and authenticity. Attuned to subtle distinctions, Fi innately senses what is true and what is false in a situation.

Ti: Ti seeks precision, such as the exact word to express an idea. It notices the minute distinctions that define the essence of things, then analyzes and classifies them. Ti examines all sides of an issue, looking to solve problems while minimizing effort and risk. It uses models to root out logical inconsistency. Ti is calm, articulate, and aware of the forces that bind reality together.

 

[Wolfie]

Thank you for that info. I have a lot of research to do! I definitely think that I am more Ti dominated, but Fi also sounds somewhat like me! I'm still trying to evaluate myself correctly!

 

[Fluffywolf]

Thank you for that info. I have a lot of research to do! I definitely think that I am more Ti dominated, but Fi also sounds somewhat like me! I'm still trying to evaluate myself correctly!

Here are some personal thoughts and experiences about INTP and Fi then. Maybe it will enlighten you.

Although I can see the appeal of Fi, and at first I also wondered if I may have been a Fi user (as I seemed to score high on Fi on tests), but I've since found it is in direct conflict with my true self and that I lack use of Fi completely.
Although I won't say it is unheard of to have an INTP use Fi as a shadow function, I can't see it being operated in a very healthy fashion and find the possibility highly unlikely. As Ti would have to be largely ingored. And it can't be a healthy thing to ignore your dominant function. I'll explain!

That is because Fi and dominant Ti will undoubtly clash with each other, the very nature of Ti would not want to settle for any Fi based value. Being Fi dom with Ti tertiary (INFP) is a possibility of having the two work in a certain harmony though. Where Fi is the ultimate descision maker and Ti just helps out on areas where just Fi will have trouble.

It doesn't work the other way around because Ti as a dominant function is pretty anal about things and even if you'd use actual Fi to come to any sort of conclusion, Ti will not be able to just accept it and will have to form its own anyways.

Fi can't act as a supplement to Ti like Ti can act as a supplement to Fi.

INTP's that think they use Fi in my experience either misunderstand the concept of Fi or are actually INFP's. ;P

 

[Wolfie]

Here are some personal thoughts and experiences about INTP and Fi then. Maybe it will enlighten you.

Although I can see the appeal of Fi, and at first I also wondered if I may have been a Fi user (as I seemed to score high on Fi on tests), but I've since found it is in direct conflict with my true self and that I lack use of Fi completely.
Although I won't say it is unheard of to have an INTP use Fi as a shadow function, I can't see it being operated in a very healthy fashion and find the possibility highly unlikely. As Ti would have to be largely ingored. And it can't be a healthy thing to ignore your dominant function. I'll explain!

That is because Fi and dominant Ti will undoubtly clash with each other, the very nature of Ti would not want to settle for any Fi based value. Being Fi dom with Ti tertiary (INFP) is a possibility of having the two work in a certain harmony though. Where Fi is the ultimate descision maker and Ti just helps out on areas where just Fi will have trouble.

It doesn't work the other way around because Ti as a dominant function is pretty anal about things and even if you'd use actual Fi to come to any sort of conclusion, Ti will not be able to just accept it and will have to form its own anyways.

Fi can't act as a supplement to Ti like Ti can act as a supplement to Fi.

INTP's that think they use Fi in my experience either misunderstand the concept of Fi or are actually INFP's. ;P

I just took a different test and got this result:

INTJ
Introvert(67%) iNtuitive(75%) iNtuitive Thinking(1%) Judging(1%)
You have distinctive preference of Introversion over Extraversion (67%)
You have distinctive preference of Intuition over Sensing (75%)
You have marginal or no preference of Thinking over Feeling (1%)
You have marginal or no preference of Judging over Perceiving (1%)

What does that mean???? I am pretty much equally T/F and J/P?

 

[Fluffywolf]

I just took a different test and got this result:

INTJ
Introvert(67%) iNtuitive(75%) iNtuitive Thinking(1%) Judging(1%)
You have distinctive preference of Introversion over Extraversion (67%)
You have distinctive preference of Intuition over Sensing (75%)
You have marginal or no preference of Thinking over Feeling (1%)
You have marginal or no preference of Judging over Perceiving (1%)

What does that mean???? I am pretty much equally T/F and J/P?

Tests are rarily accurate unless you have a truely good grasp of the actual reasons for your behaviour as well as proper understanding of the essense of its questions. As you are new to the concept of MBTI, it is far more likely that you are biased towards certain answers.

It is better to read the various descriptions, learning the difference between the dichotomy's, finding out the meaning of the 8 cognative functions and from that, learning what your preferences truely are and what type you belong to.