Wise sayings which are false and indeed erroneous.

[LightSun]

'Myths and Wives Tales Handed Down Generation to Generation Without Testing The validity Of These Beliefs'


'It is a peeve of mine when supposedly wise sayings either religious or secular are taken for granted and never questioned much less held up to the light of scientific scrutiny. Wise sayings which when held up to the light of scrutiny are In fact in error. Are these truths to live by or unproven myths when when held up to the light of scientific scrutiny and do not pass the test. Are these wise sayings taken for granted or even questioned? In that case they amount to mere wives tales which are passed down each generation.

I have discovered so many of these proverbial wisdom sayings which simply don't pass the test by using critical thought or human reason. If that is indeed the case they hold us back from further emotional and spiritual development. I don't know whether to do independent threads addressing these fallacies or to make an all inclusive list numerically and then be open for discussion. Are the following statements true or an unproven myth? Please I'd like your feedback, feelings, thoughts and beliefs on the subject."


'Truth or unproven myth?'

(1) 'Words don't hurt us or affect us unless we let them."

(2) “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” Friedrich Nietzsche

(3) "We have total control and Free Will."

(4) "We have reason to act angrily with "Self Righteousness Anger."

(5) "If I put my mind to it i can do anything." If my intention I put into the universe I will receive. "Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

(6) "If another person does something unjust, he or she will get their just deserts. The notion of what goes around comes around."

(7) "The universe is (In human subjective terminology) 'Fair' 'Just' or a 'Loving' universe.

(8) "Just by Thinking, Feeling or Believing it to be true then it must be true. By this I mean it is for the reason that I happen to think, feel and believe it to be true. Therefore it is true."

(9) "We put out positive energy to universe and we shall receive in equitable proportion receive back positive energy."

(10) "Love is the only channel to usher peace. Love is the answer. And the world shall be a better place."

(11) "Use the rod you spare the child."

(12) "I came from nothing. If I did such, you can too. If not it's your fault. If you put your mind to it and you can do anything. I am a self- made man and or woman of character who had a dream and achieved it.

After all I did it and I started from nothing if you can't do it fella or lady well I'm not going to give you any hand out's. I'm certainly not going to pay more taxes to support your measly ass of weak character.
There must be something wrong with you then. You just then are lazy or just not trying hard enough or are of weak character, will and determination"

(13) "Nothing external to you has any power over you." Ralph Waldo Emerson

(14) "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." Carl Jung

(15) "Everything happens for a reason,"

(16) Are we in the dawn of a new spiritual awakening?

(17) "When it is darkest, men see the stars.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

(18) "I have overcome a dysfunctional home and raised my children with love and (pertinent) I have not allowed my childhood experience to affect me.

(19) "The eyes are the mirror of the soul."

(20) "We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason.'

(21) "Everything heals. Your body heals. Your heart heals. The mind heals. Wounds heal. Your soul repairs itself. Your happiness is always going to come back. Bad things don't last."

(22) "Life does not give us more than we can handle? This is meant to be all inclusive of all humanity and not just your own life."

(23) "Relax nothing is in control" Buddhist Saying

(24) "If you suffer, it is because of you. If you feel blissful, it is because of you. Nobody else is responsible, only you and you alone. You are your hell and heaven too." Osho

(25) "You have two choices; to control your mind, or let your mind control you." Buddhist Saying

(26) "Nothing is permanent.Don't stress yourself too much because no matter how bad the situation is...it will change." Buddhist Saying

(27) "Train your mind to see good in every situation." Buddhist Saying

(28) "Everything comes to you in the right moment be patient." Buddhist Saying

(29) "I do not fix my problems. I fix my thinking. The problems fix themselves." Buddhist Saying

 

[FemMecha]

"It could always be worse" or "think of everyone who has it worse than you"
...both intended as ways to make one feel better.

"If you can dream it, you can do it."

"You have to love yourself before you can love someone else"

 

[Maou]

Some of these are debatable, as different people have different attitudes but nothing is universal. So some of these are true to some people.

 

[Forever]

"It could always be worse" or "think of everyone who has it worse than you"
...both intended as ways to make one feel better.

"If you can dream it, you can do it."

"You have to love yourself before you can love someone else"

I agree with these all being used as quite dismissive. The third one is a cop out statement for sure!

The last one is better applied rather than treated literally as a statement of truth.

It’s amazing we as a society tend to just be “ok” with it and let it ruin us

 

[ceecee]

“That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.”

Overused and not true. I would love to slap Nietzsche for even writing it down.

'It Is What It Is'

This is something only idiot Americans could come up with due to minuscule attention spans, a decrease in education funding and increasing comfortability with inexactness.

 

[Starry]

“Life never gives you more than you can handle.”

^this quote is everything from creepy to offensive to potentially harmful in my opinion.

 

[prplchknz]

“Life never gives you more than you can handle.”

^this quote is everything from creepy to offensive to potentially harmful in my opinion.

yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes omg and yes

 

[FemMecha]

I agree with these all being used as quite dismissive. The third one is a cop out statement for sure!

The last one is better applied rather than treated literally as a statement of truth.

It's amazing we as a society tend to just be "ok" with it and let it ruin us

The negative feeling we have towards ourselves can have many different sources and complexities.

Sometimes when I'm depressed I'll give money to homeless people and say something kind. Their happiness then becomes my own. To whatever extent a person has empathy is the extent to which that quoted statement fails.

 

[rav3n]

Overused and not true. I would love to slap Nietzsche for even writing it down.

No kidding. Being a survivor differs from living a fulfilling life.

 

[LightSun]

"It could always be worse" or "think of everyone who has it worse than you"
...both intended as ways to make one feel better.

"If you can dream it, you can do it."

"You have to love yourself before you can love someone else"

Ravenetta wrote, (1) "It could always be worse" or "think of everyone who has it worse than you"...both intended as ways to make one feel better.'


This is an aspect that I find to be a sympathetic statement. As [MENTION=14857]Ravenetta[/MENTION] you have stated they are designed to make you feel better. Sometimes silence is the best recourse of action when dealing with a person facing obstacles or life altering events, I rate it on a continuum with empathy being the highest. Not everyone has this rare faculty. When I was going through my grief state over the loss of my wife I would get these polite niceties.

Some prime examples were, (A) "Oh, you were so lucky to have known her for the period you did." This only reinforced my grief with the knowledge of losing her still raw. Another was, (B) "I'll pray for you." This was not appreciated by me. Lastly was, (C) "I'm so sorry." I do not wish pity. I needled time alone to get through my grieving. Sympathy is second on the hierarchy of human compassion and trying to help others.

In many cases to me an being empathetic I felt worse or not being understood when I received these well intention's social niceties. A quote, “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” Ralph G. Nichols

Advise giving when unasked for was intrusive and an affront. It is number three in help to those in need. I am asking a rhetorical question, "Don't the advise givers know I already know the advise they are giving me?" At the bottom of this continuum of human understanding is pitying someone else.


(2) "If you can dream it, you can do it."


This is the fifth wisdom saying I find in error. (5) "If I put my mind to it i can do anything." If my intention I put into the universe I will receive. Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The saying of the universe conspires to make happen akin 'The Secret" is an erroneous belief. The cognitive distortion here is magical thinking. The danger with magical thinking is that is makes assumptions with no scientific validity, much less proof. Of course we must be goal orientated and follow an internal compass in order of trying to achieve our dreams. I'll give an example where this wives tale falls into disrepute. The navy seal program has many potential candidates.

An individual entering the program may have had a father graduate and the person wishes with all their might putting in an effort to succeed in the program. It does necessitate accomplishing the goal. Some succeed and the successful candidates may generalize the magical thinking notion that the universe helped him. In order for this premise to be correct it would have to be accurate 100% of the time. In the seal program a candidate succeeds or fails due to their genetic makeup along with their will. Many people have their dreams not met and it's not from lack of trying."

 

[LightSun]

“Life never gives you more than you can handle.”

^this quote is everything from creepy to offensive to potentially harmful in my opinion.

Starry quoted, (1) “Life never gives you more than you can handle.”


This is the example #(22) "Life does not give us more than we can handle? This would imply it holds true for the entire human race This is the cognitive distortion called generalizing. In the psychology field 'flooding' (A behaviorism term) shall occur if too much trauma is manifest and can't get processed. The ideal is to challenge one's self and grow but flooding one's ego state with trauma that isn't assimilated can cause long term symptoms of depression, mental illness, alcoholism and P.T.S.D. amid a host of other mental health issues.

In that scenario overcompensation, blind spots to one's awareness, defensive mechanisms and emotion laden triggers lurk in the subconscious. In addition if the trauma came from a dysfunctional home environment cognitive schema can develop as part of our belief system. Schema: In order to not re-experience the pain of old unhealed areas of ourselves that come out in trigger situations we resort to cognitive schema which are unhealthy. There are three types of schema avoidance: cognitive, emotional, and behavioral. All of these lay in the subconscious region and come out in reactionary automatic behaviors that are laden with cognitive distortions.

A quite disturbing science research study concluded that those who grew up in an adverse and traumatic situation is that a full two thirds will continue to suffer adverse symptoms throughout the course of their lifetime. The research into resiliency features and developmental assets was done as part of both a qualitative and qualitative long term study covering decades covering individuals who grew up in these adverse conditions.

The research did find that one third of the individuals who grew up in a dysfunctional home environment still managed to thrive. These prospering individuals had probably many of the 40 developmental assets in place during childhood. What about the unfortunate other 2/3 who don't thrive. Dysfunctional home life breeds dysfunction.It will take therapy, insight, will and social support for these individuals to begin a process of healing. Many times in life traumas can be offset by resiliency and developing latent coping skills. Working on a person's strengths hopefully an equilibrium can be reached but the person is by no means fully healed for they carry their emotional scars with them."

 

[Coriolis]

"It's the thought that counts."

Usually this is used to justify some gift or action that clearly indicates the giver/doer has not given much thought to the matter, because it is inappropriate to the person or situation.

"You can't have your cake and eat it, too."

This one is pure illogic: how can you eat a cake you don't have?

Now to look at some of yours, [MENTION=7680]lightsun[/MENTION]:

(1) 'Words don't hurt us or affect us unless we let them."
As an absolute, I disagree with this, but I do think we have more power over the effect of what others say than most people credit.

(5) "If I put my mind to it i can do anything."
Perhaps not, but the converse is certainly true: if I don't put my mind to it, I am unlikely to accomplish much.

(15) "Everything happens for a reason,"
In a strictly cause and effect way, this is true: meaning that everything can be explained.

(17) "When it is darkest, men see the stars.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
I must admit a fondness for this one, as for the quote famously attributed to Galileo: "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."

(27) "Train your mind to see good in every situation." Buddhist Saying
I agree with this, but it is only part of the story. You need to see the bad as well, since that is what requires your attention to improve or correct.

(28) "Everything comes to you in the right moment be patient." Buddhist Saying
This comes close to describing Ni: you can feed it but you cannot force it, and must rather be patient as it generates its insights.

(29) "I do not fix my problems. I fix my thinking. The problems fix themselves."
Again, related to Ni in that the solution to a problem often does become clear with a change of perspective.

"If you can dream it, you can do it."

As with (5) above, it is invalid as a generalization. The reverse, though, is more reliable: if you cannot dream it (i.e. imagine it or see it in your mind's eye), you cannot do it.

 

[Avocado]

“Life never gives you more than you can handle.”

^this quote is everything from creepy to offensive to potentially harmful in my opinion.

Agreed.

Since everything is random, things can get really good or really bad without you doing anything to deserve either. I deconstruct this, too. What does it mean to really deserve something? What does good really mean? What does bad really mean? Why do I follow social norms I know are just pulled out of some dead guy’s ass? I will never be certain.

 

[LightSun]

"It's the thought that counts."

Usually this is used to justify some gift or action that clearly indicates the giver/doer has not given much thought to the matter, because it is inappropriate to the person or situation.

"You can't have your cake and eat it, too."

This one is pure illogic: how can you eat a cake you don't have?

Now to look at some of yours, [MENTION=7680]lightsun[/MENTION]:

(1) 'Words don't hurt us or affect us unless we let them."
As an absolute, I disagree with this, but I do think we have more power over the effect of what others say than most people credit.

(5) "If I put my mind to it i can do anything."
Perhaps not, but the converse is certainly true: if I don't put my mind to it, I am unlikely to accomplish much.

(15) "Everything happens for a reason,"
In a strictly cause and effect way, this is true: meaning that everything can be explained.

(17) "When it is darkest, men see the stars.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
I must admit a fondness for this one, as for the quote famously attributed to Galileo: "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."

(27) "Train your mind to see good in every situation." Buddhist Saying
I agree with this, but it is only part of the story. You need to see the bad as well, since that is what requires your attention to improve or correct.

(28) "Everything comes to you in the right moment be patient." Buddhist Saying
This comes close to describing Ni: you can feed it but you cannot force it, and must rather be patient as it generates its insights.

(29) "I do not fix my problems. I fix my thinking. The problems fix themselves."
Again, related to Ni in that the solution to a problem often does become clear with a change of perspective.


As with (5) above, it is invalid as a generalization. The reverse, though, is more reliable: if you cannot dream it (i.e. imagine it or see it in your mind's eye), you cannot do it.

Coriolis wrote, (A) "It's the thought that counts."

(B) "You can't have your cake and eat it, too."

Coriolis wrote, "This one is pure illogical: how can you eat a cake you don't have?"


(1) 'Words don't hurt us or affect us unless we let them."


Coriolis wrote, "As an absolute, I disagree with this, but I do think we have more power over the effect of what others say than most people credit."


"I agree Coriolis that there is a medium of half and half dualism with words affecting us. The saying that words cannot affect us unless we choose to let them has an element of truth. It takes one to be triggered by words. If one has healthy sense of self and esteem and is emotionally and psychologically well adjusted the words of others have fewer effects on a person. Where it isn't true is take children.They are the most susceptible to the words of others whether peers or especially parents. I believe parents as mini-gods. They can shape and mold a child based on their words.

If they give praise and reassurance the child is likely to develop a better sense of self for life. If on the other hand the parent is judgmental and harsh then the child is more apt to develop a lower sense of self esteem. This can haunt the child thereafter for life. Also, even in adults, angry and argumentative language and energy can have an effect on us just as we react to laughter and smiling so can we be affected by the interpersonal bond of humanity when another is negative. In addition which one of us has never been affronted for some reason by the words spoken by another?

I don't take name calling, pejoratives and labeling seriously. I disregard such nonsensical lack in the use of reason. These people are projecting their own unresolved issues which they take out unto the world. They do not take self responsibility but blame life and other people for their internal emotional state. This shows a lack of insight along with emotional, psychological and spiritual immaturity.

They use nonsensical language much as Fred Flintstones Pebbles and Bam Bam language that is infantile. Our words are a reflection of ourselves. Thus they show their true colors and stand naked like the emperor with no clothes on before their fellow man.


(5) "If I put my mind to it i can do anything."

Coriolis wrote, "...not...the converse...certainly true: if I don't put my mind to it, I am unlikely to accomplish much.'


This is an example of number five on the list, (5) "If I put my mind to it i can do anything." If my intention I put into the universe I will receive. Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The saying of the universe conspires to make happen akin 'The Secret" is an erroneous belief. The cognitive distortion here is magical thinking. The danger with magical thinking is that is makes assumptions with no scientific validity, much less proof. On this point I agree with you Coriolis that we must decisively act to make our goals come into fruition. Of course we must be goal orientated and follow an internal compass in order of trying to achieve our dreams.

I'll give an example where this wives tale falls into disrepute. The navy seal program has many potential candidates. An individual entering the program may have had a father graduate and the person wishes with all their might putting in an effort to succeed in the program. It does necessitate accomplishing the goal. Some succeed and the successful candidates may generalize the magical thinking notion that the universe helped him.

In order for this premise to be correct it would have to be accurate 100% of the time. In the seal program a candidate succeeds or fails due to their genetic makeup along with their will. Many people have their dreams not met and it's not from lack of trying."


(15) "Everything happens for a reason,"


Coriolis wrote, "...strictly cause and effect way, this is true: meaning... everything can be explained."


"In refute I refer to humanity giving reasons for correlations and circumstance that are not part of a cause and effect. Back to the mixture or element of truth of which you referred. I know that every action committed that there were underlying variables that began prior to the external circumstance. It is when human beings project their personal subjective opinions and beliefs without supporting evidence that much confusion reigns.

Everything happens for a reason." Isn't valid nor does it stand up to the test of science. The known universe is impartial. Events happen by happenstance. Everything happens for a reason is an erroneous belief. I do find the idea nauseous in thinking incest, rape, war etc is meant to be. That's superstition which science has determined the human race to be naturally predisposed and hard wired to possess. Our brain filters in and out information every day of our life. We believe what are brain informs us even if there is credible contradictory evidence against one's held belief.

This is done by my own conjecture to fill in the missing pieces of information. This alleviates cognitive dissonance as well when our beliefs come into conflict with ex-temporary information contradicting our held beliefs. We can not give total credence to our perceptions for they can likely be distorted through a clouded lens of reason. The clouded lens in perception come from many areas: emotional reasoning, denial, rationalization and blind spots to name the more pernicious.

Their is no reliable proof supporting this position. It is a known cognitive distortion called magical thinking. It is not using human reason nor relying upon critical thought. We can learn from all of life's experiences. We can learn from the bad and good but it's not destined. The meaning we give it though is our own and not part of a universal plan. Knowing this to be reality I utilize credible scientific fact not opinion and belief. We are a product of our belief system. On the path of self development we must question our beliefs in order to grow. Those that follow belief with blinders on limit their growth."


(17) "When it is darkest, men see the stars.” Ralph Waldo Emerson


Coriolis wrote, "I must admit...fondness for this one, as for the quote famously attributed to Galileo: "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."


"I know of serious mental health afflicted individuals that metaphorically live in darkness. This is in part a chemical component. Another pertinent variable is we are ruled by our subconscious more than we are likely to admit. If one grew up in a traumatic environment their belief system is corrupted on a subconscious level with cognitive Schema and erroneous distortions of thought both incorporated in their internal system of belief. For some it is like hell on earth. They are not able to appreciate the beauty of the world because of their affliction."


(27) "Train your mind to see good in every situation." Buddhist Saying


Coriolis wrote, "...agree with this, but it is only part of the story. You need to see the bad as well, since that is what requires your attention to improve or correct."



"There just isn't good in every situation. In our world are a great many injustices that must be corrected. I would rather state Coriolis strive to be positive but yet at the same time realistic. Do not dwell on problems rather seek to problem solve or refocus unto something you've a measure of control. The very last thing though to do is dwell or ruminate in an endless circle only sinking you further into the quicksand of your own thoughts.


(28) "Everything comes to you in the right moment be patient." Buddhist Saying


Coriolis wrote, "...comes close...Ni: you can feed it but you cannot force it..." "..must rather be patient as it generates its insights."


"This quote is a definite cognitive fallacy in the realm of positivism's that are simply unrealistic. Life is akin to a great flowing river. On this river of life's adventures no one knows what lies around the bend. Now saying that we must be ready when life offers us an opportunity. He who helps himself gets results. A person who passively waits is in a fatalistic mind state."


(29) "I do not fix my problems. I fix my thinking. The problems fix themselves."


Coriolis wrote, "...Ni in that the solution to a problem often does become clear with a change of perspective."


"How do I deal when facing a conflict? When and if I become triggered I try riding the storm of emotion out. It is, And this too shall pass. Maybe, tomorrow I will have a more pleasant day. It is rolling with the punches. I always am hoping always for the best. (1) I try handling a difficult crises or topics I find repellent with a realistic and pragmatic stance. I ask myself what I reasonably can do? Problems however do not solve themselves. It takes a willing heart, focus and determination in order to enact societal change.

If it is within my power then I will act accordingly to correct an injustice. Barring this course of action, I then if applicable I will alert a higher authority who has some power over the situation such as a teacher, parent, boss, legal recourse, or the police. I seek to problem solve and not cast blame nor castigate the other person. Here is where your quote fits in.


Coriolis wrote, "...a problem often does become clear with a change of perspective."


(2) I refocus on what I can do to take back a measure of control. I do what I can do at the moment even if it's not what I initially intended. This gives one a measure and sense of accomplishment. Doing this can help recharge one's batteries and increase clarity of mind. Thus we are less likely to do something irrational and most certainly not in our best interests. Walking away from the situation for awhile can give you time for a solution to become more readily apparent.

(3) If this course of action does not bear fruit then I do not dwell or ruminate on what I can't change. I don't dwell, ruminate or go in a circular defeated pattern like a snake trying to devour its own head. A new fresh perspective is needed. To dwell on a negative one sinks in like sinking in the quicksand of one's own self induced suffering. We will in effect become our own enemy. Not trying to exercise cognitive restraint is a by product of an undisciplined mind. It shows a lack of emotional, spiritual as well psychological health. What's more it shows a lack of maturity and development."

 

[Coriolis]

(5) "If I put my mind to it i can do anything."

Coriolis wrote, "...not...the converse...certainly true: if I don't put my mind to it, I am unlikely to accomplish much.'


This is an example of number five on the list, (5) "If I put my mind to it i can do anything." If my intention I put into the universe I will receive. Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The saying of the universe conspires to make happen akin 'The Secret" is an erroneous belief. The cognitive distortion here is magical thinking. The danger with magical thinking is that is makes assumptions with no scientific validity, much less proof. On this point I agree with you Coriolis that we must decisively act to make our goals come into fruition. Of course we must be goal orientated and follow an internal compass in order of trying to achieve our dreams.

I'll give an example where this wives tale falls into disrepute. The navy seal program has many potential candidates. An individual entering the program may have had a father graduate and the person wishes with all their might putting in an effort to succeed in the program. It does necessitate accomplishing the goal. Some succeed and the successful candidates may generalize the magical thinking notion that the universe helped him.

In order for this premise to be correct it would have to be accurate 100% of the time. In the seal program a candidate succeeds or fails due to their genetic makeup along with their will. Many people have their dreams not met and it's not from lack of trying."

I guarantee that a seal candidate who does not put his mind to succeeding, will not succeed. So, the converse is much more likely to hold true.

(15) "Everything happens for a reason,"

Coriolis wrote, "...strictly cause and effect way, this is true: meaning... everything can be explained."

"In refute I refer to humanity giving reasons for correlations and circumstance that are not part of a cause and effect. Back to the mixture or element of truth of which you referred. I know that every action committed that there were underlying variables that began prior to the external circumstance. It is when human beings project their personal subjective opinions and beliefs without supporting evidence that much confusion reigns.

Everything happens for a reason." Isn't valid nor does it stand up to the test of science. The known universe is impartial. Events happen by happenstance. Everything happens for a reason is an erroneous belief. I do find the idea nauseous in thinking incest, rape, war etc is meant to be. That's superstition which science has determined the human race to be naturally predisposed and hard wired to possess. Our brain filters in and out information every day of our life. We believe what are brain informs us even if there is credible contradictory evidence against one's held belief.

This is done by my own conjecture to fill in the missing pieces of information. This alleviates cognitive dissonance as well when our beliefs come into conflict with ex-temporary information contradicting our held beliefs. We can not give total credence to our perceptions for they can likely be distorted through a clouded lens of reason. The clouded lens in perception come from many areas: emotional reasoning, denial, rationalization and blind spots to name the more pernicious.

Their is no reliable proof supporting this position. It is a known cognitive distortion called magical thinking. It is not using human reason nor relying upon critical thought. We can learn from all of life's experiences. We can learn from the bad and good but it's not destined. The meaning we give it though is our own and not part of a universal plan. Knowing this to be reality I utilize credible scientific fact not opinion and belief. We are a product of our belief system. On the path of self development we must question our beliefs in order to grow. Those that follow belief with blinders on limit their growth."

First, note that I specified cause and effect relationships, not intentionality. Just because humans often associate the wrong cause with the effect does not mean that the effect does not have a cause that can be discerned and explained.

(17) "When it is darkest, men see the stars.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Coriolis wrote, "I must admit...fondness for this one, as for the quote famously attributed to Galileo: "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."


"I know of serious mental health afflicted individuals that metaphorically live in darkness. This is in part a chemical component. Another pertinent variable is we are ruled by our subconscious more than we are likely to admit. If one grew up in a traumatic environment their belief system is corrupted on a subconscious level with cognitive Schema and erroneous distortions of thought both incorporated in their internal system of belief. For some it is like hell on earth. They are not able to appreciate the beauty of the world because of their affliction."

The metaphor of "living in darkness" does not do justice to actual darkness. The entire equating of light with good and darkness with bad is contrary to reality, and harmful on many levels. I wonder if it also fuels racism (whites > blacks). If we equate the subconscious to darkness because of its obscurity, the comparison is more apt, but there should be no evil associated with this. The contents of our subconscious are important, and not to be dismissed or vilified.

(27) "Train your mind to see good in every situation." Buddhist Saying

Coriolis wrote, "...agree with this, but it is only part of the story. You need to see the bad as well, since that is what requires your attention to improve or correct."

"There just isn't good in every situation. In our world are a great many injustices that must be corrected. I would rather state Coriolis strive to be positive but yet at the same time realistic. Do not dwell on problems rather seek to problem solve or refocus unto something you've a measure of control. The very last thing though to do is dwell or ruminate in an endless circle only sinking you further into the quicksand of your own thoughts.

Realism is nothing more than seeing both the bad and the good of a situation. In short, seeing it for what it really is, i.e. reality.

(28) "Everything comes to you in the right moment be patient." Buddhist Saying

Coriolis wrote, "...comes close...Ni: you can feed it but you cannot force it..." "..must rather be patient as it generates its insights."

"This quote is a definite cognitive fallacy in the realm of positivism's that are simply unrealistic. Life is akin to a great flowing river. On this river of life's adventures no one knows what lies around the bend. Now saying that we must be ready when life offers us an opportunity. He who helps himself gets results. A person who passively waits is in a fatalistic mind state."

(29) "I do not fix my problems. I fix my thinking. The problems fix themselves."

Coriolis wrote, "...Ni in that the solution to a problem often does become clear with a change of perspective."

"How do I deal when facing a conflict? When and if I become triggered I try riding the storm of emotion out. It is, And this too shall pass. Maybe, tomorrow I will have a more pleasant day. It is rolling with the punches. I always am hoping always for the best. (1) I try handling a difficult crises or topics I find repellent with a realistic and pragmatic stance. I ask myself what I reasonably can do? Problems however do not solve themselves. It takes a willing heart, focus and determination in order to enact societal change.

If it is within my power then I will act accordingly to correct an injustice. Barring this course of action, I then if applicable I will alert a higher authority who has some power over the situation such as a teacher, parent, boss, legal recourse, or the police. I seek to problem solve and not cast blame nor castigate the other person. Here is where your quote fits in.

Coriolis wrote, "...a problem often does become clear with a change of perspective."

(2) I refocus on what I can do to take back a measure of control. I do what I can do at the moment even if it's not what I initially intended. This gives one a measure and sense of accomplishment. Doing this can help recharge one's batteries and increase clarity of mind. Thus we are less likely to do something irrational and most certainly not in our best interests. Walking away from the situation for awhile can give you time for a solution to become more readily apparent.

(3) If this course of action does not bear fruit then I do not dwell or ruminate on what I can't change. I don't dwell, ruminate or go in a circular defeated pattern like a snake trying to devour its own head. A new fresh perspective is needed. To dwell on a negative one sinks in like sinking in the quicksand of one's own self induced suffering. We will in effect become our own enemy. Not trying to exercise cognitive restraint is a by product of an undisciplined mind. It shows a lack of emotional, spiritual as well psychological health. What's more it shows a lack of maturity and development."

These two quotes fail primarily in their generalized form. It is mostly like this for some people, myself included. Controlling what you think you can in the moment is good, but just a piece of that overall puzzle. It is in that perspective shift that the real solution is often found, in understanding how the entire situation can be changed by touching that one small thing you can in fact control. This lies at the root of Ni.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

You've made all the 7s run for the hills, probably to spontaneously climb mountains.

 

[Nomendei]

Basically the whole bible...

Just joking, don't chase me with your forks and torches.

 

[Avocado]

“You know right from wrong”

No I don’t, and neither do you.

 

[Starry]

Starry quoted, (1) “Life never gives you more than you can handle.”


This is the example #(22) "Life does not give us more than we can handle? This would imply it holds true for the entire human race This is the cognitive distortion called generalizing. In the psychology field 'flooding' (A behaviorism term) shall occur if too much trauma is manifest and can't get processed. The ideal is to challenge one's self and grow but flooding one's ego state with trauma that isn't assimilated can cause long term symptoms of depression, mental illness, alcoholism and P.T.S.D. amid a host of other mental health issues.

In that scenario overcompensation, blind spots to one's awareness, defensive mechanisms and emotion laden triggers lurk in the subconscious. In addition if the trauma came from a dysfunctional home environment cognitive schema can develop as part of our belief system. Schema: In order to not re-experience the pain of old unhealed areas of ourselves that come out in trigger situations we resort to cognitive schema which are unhealthy. There are three types of schema avoidance: cognitive, emotional, and behavioral. All of these lay in the subconscious region and come out in reactionary automatic behaviors that are laden with cognitive distortions.

A quite disturbing science research study concluded that those who grew up in an adverse and traumatic situation is that a full two thirds will continue to suffer adverse symptoms throughout the course of their lifetime. The research into resiliency features and developmental assets was done as part of both a qualitative and qualitative long term study covering decades covering individuals who grew up in these adverse conditions.

The research did find that one third of the individuals who grew up in a dysfunctional home environment still managed to thrive. These prospering individuals had probably many of the 40 developmental assets in place during childhood. What about the unfortunate other 2/3 who don't thrive. Dysfunctional home life breeds dysfunction.It will take therapy, insight, will and social support for these individuals to begin a process of healing. Many times in life traumas can be offset by resiliency and developing latent coping skills. Working on a person's strengths hopefully an equilibrium can be reached but the person is by no means fully healed for they carry their emotional scars with them."

Thank you so much for this. I’ve told you this in private but hope you don’t mind me saying it again here... I really appreciate your thought-provoking questions and feel they bring great value to the forum.

I also need to say that I love how [MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION] applied logic to these idioms... idk but I wish more people could see this done so they could begin to understand or understand in a more meaningful way that there’s great value in doing so. That logic isn’t a secret language of some exclusive club... but that everyone should be *doing the logic*.

My mind keeps returning to measures and meaning. Like the word “handle”. If a person truly buys into that philosophy as put forth in the idiom...so much so they they pass it along as a lesson of sorts...then it falls to them to define handle. “Life will never give you more than what you can project onto others.” “Life will never give you more than what can be forgotten drinking yourself into oblivion every night.” There are so many ways to handle these things.

Likewise, simultaneous meaning. To say “what comes around goes around” is the same as saying “you get back what you put in.” Or “You get what you deserve.” <-And in saying so I have released myself from any form of collective responsibility.

If people are...under Life’s right action...strong enough to handle all that comes their way... there’s clearly nothing I need to do to help out.

 

[j.c.t.]

Many of these are true.

You whingebags.