[INFP] Why the hate or dislike for INFP?

[phoenix31]

I can see things I dislike about any type, but it's especially easy, being an INFP, to see a lot of things that aren't likable about INFP's. I think especially immature INFP's can be annoying or dislikable if they are very timid to a fault and haven't learned to be assertive ... one time as a younger person, I let somebody call me by the wrong name for an entire weekend conference because I didn't want to make him feel bad that he got my name wrong. Also, if a core value gets threatened, INFP's can be downright obnoxious--I see a lot of vegans like this who are super obnoxious, for example. As a young INFP, I was also incredibly emotionally sensitive and moody, so probably difficult to be around, because people (ones who cared, anyway) had to tiptoe on eggshells to avoid upsetting me. (ie: I couldn't watch certain shows/movies without being disturbed for days, I couldn't listen to certain songs without crying, I couldn't discuss certain subjects without getting furious and expecting people to agree with me, etc.).

The thing I have disliked about myself in my adulthood, even after maturing a lot, is the extremes of my personality type and the fact that many, many things that come easily to the general population are extremely difficult for me to the point that I feel stupid most of the time. This has been really difficult especially trying to find a job or a field of education to support myself and pay the bills. 9 times out of 10, I'm just basically horrible at normal things other people find easy, like being observant and aware of physical surroundings, making decisions under pressure, using logic, having mechanical skills, or any number of other things. Being caught up in your own little world inside your head really isn't conducive to what a person needs to function and be useful to the rest of the world in most situations.

Additionally, even a typical business world scenario with a job that doesn't require much and should be relatively easy, I (like other INFP's, I assume) struggle with really strong and overpowering feelings of anger and frustration at a lot of what is typical for the business world but strikes me as not genuine. A lot of what is required of people to climb the corporate ladder and the flimsy, surface interpersonal transactions that occur in that scenario make me furious. So, between trying to stuff down really strong emotions and being basically the worst at 9 out of 10 basic things people are somewhat competent in, I end up being frustrated with myself, and definitely see why other people would be annoyed with me, too.

But overall, I think all personality types have their obnoxious flaws, especially with immaturity.

 

[xenaprincess]

^yes.... I think.. we start out in life pretty self-absorbed. I think it’s bc we are rather sensitive and affected by everything.

Hopefully with age, we become less self-absorbed and better equipped re stimuli. I bet every INFP had a diary or twelve.

 

[Grand Admiral Crunch]

^yes.... I think.. we start out in life pretty self-absorbed. I think it’s bc we are rather sensitive and affected by everything.

Hopefully with age, we become less self-absorbed and better equipped re stimuli. I bet every INFP had a diary or twelve.

lol I want ot tell you about my diaries but I know no one wants to hear it.

 

[NoorGuin]

i think they're pretty cute most of the time
because they attempt to act like they aren't

 

[Elegiac]

Lol whatever people's problems are I can't be bothered dealing with their perception anymore.
Yes there's 'bad' INFPs and 'good' INFPs.

Hmmm I think what people mean is, immature vs mature INFPs. I think most people get the idea of INFPs from teenagers going through teenage things. Which of course is going to involve emotional immaturity and expression, which to be honest, how many people didn't have a hard time being a teenager?

 

[Elegiac]

I could have worded that better but I was in a hurry.
I think as I and others have said, the way our type is in the fledgling stage of life.
Typing this in the backseat of the car is also a bit awkward, haha.

Hnm other things I can negatively pinpoint about our type is: Stubborn about values
Daydreaming as a coping mechanism
Not actually getting shit done-procrastination
Hard to motivate
Dislike of everyday tasks and mundane things
Hmmm etc.
Younger INFPs can be overreacting and too passive.

Oh, our general lack of self awareness and how we affect others.

Also, our horrendous extraverted sensing. One of our least used functions. This causes us to perceive the world in the now as more like a dream state, a surreal detached experience with the here-and-now and our "senses" I suppose.

 

[Luminous]

Oh, our general lack of self awareness and how we affect others.

I don't think this is an INFP trait.

 

[Elegiac]

I don't think this is an INFP trait.

I don't know, I've heard from ESTPs that apparently a lot of us are not self aware?

However I'm not exactly sure in what context they meant.

And the "how we affect others" is also more of a contextual thing. Like I know if I say XYZ I could easily offend somebody.

If somebody who wasn't INFP could explain...

 

[Pionart]

I don't know, I've heard from ESTPs that apparently a lot of us are not self aware?

However I'm not exactly sure in what context they meant.

And the "how we affect others" is also more of a contextual thing. Like I know if I say XYZ I could easily offend somebody.

If somebody who wasn't INFP could explain...

"Not self aware" is a strange thing to say of an INFP. I would think INFPs (along with ISFPs) would be the most self-aware.

If it's coming from an ESTP though, it probably actually means something like not aware of the environment, or not aware of how you're coming across.

INFPs certainly have a high degree of awareness of self due to the introspective nature of introverted feeling.

Regarding affecting others, I think INFPs have a generally well meaning nature (depending on their level of moral goodness, of course) that is attuned to the internal state of the other; however it's often more passive rather than active. So they can be listeners rather than speakers much of the time, and have an awareness of the inner state of others but not know how to influence things in the moment. However they can be healers in the sense of determining the things about a person that are holding them back and finding fixes that allow the person to relate to themselves more harmoniously.

 

[Tennessee Jed]

I don't know, I've heard from ESTPs that apparently a lot of us are not self aware?

However I'm not exactly sure in what context they meant.

And the "how we affect others" is also more of a contextual thing. Like I know if I say XYZ I could easily offend somebody.

If somebody who wasn't INFP could explain...

I agree that INFPs are often not aware of how they affect others or how weird they sometimes act around others.

INFPs can engage in fairly bizarre behavior. And they don't even realize that they are behaving strangely. INFPs live in their heads, and they are quite oblivious about other people's opinion of them. I've seen other INFPs engage in really weird behavior in society, seemingly clueless about how weird they were acting. And I have to admit that I've done some really weird stuff myself and only realized in retrospect that I was probably acting very oddly.

There is a great website that emphasizes each personality type's faults, and talks about how they can correct those faults. I really love the site--it's quite helpful in terms of personal development. It's called PersonalityPage.com. (When you go to the home page, click on the "Growth" tab and then go to the bottom of that page and select your personality type.) In the section devoted to INFPs, it lists the following fault: "May come across as eccentric, or perhaps even generally strange to others, without being aware of it"

Here is the full list of INFP typical faults from that website. There's definitely a heavy emphasis on the weirdness of INFPs in general, and how clueless they sometimes are about their own weirdness. I've bolded the portions that deal with INFP weirdness and their cluelessness about it.

• May be extremely sensitive to any kind of criticism
• May perceive criticism where none was intended
• May have skewed or unrealistic ideas about reality
• May be unable to acknowledge or hear anything that goes against their personal ideas and opinions
• May blame their problems on other people, seeing themselves as victims who are treated unfairly
• May have great anger, and show this anger with rash outpourings of bad temper
• May be unaware of appropriate social behavior
• May be oblivious to their personal appearance, or to appropriate dress
• May come across as eccentric, or perhaps even generally strange to others, without being aware of it
• May be unable to see or understand anyone else's point of view
• May value their own opinions and feelings far above others
• May be unaware of how their behavior affects others
• May be oblivious to other people's need
• May feel overwhelmed with tension and stress when someone expresses disagreement with the INFP, or disapproval of the INFP
• May develop strong judgments that are difficult to unseed against people who they perceive have been oppressive or suppressive to them
• Under great stress, may obsess about details that are unimportant to the big picture of things
• Under stress, may obsessively brood over a problem repeatedly
• May have unreasonable expectations of others
• May have difficulty maintaining close relationships, due to unreasonable expectations

Link: INFP Personal Growth

As the site explains, basically the problem is that young INFPs tend to emphasize their dominant Introverted Feeling, which means they tend to live in their heads. To get more awareness of the world around them, they need to work on their auxiliary Extroverted iNtuition as well and strengthen it.

 

[Voygazer]

I don't know, I've heard from ESTPs that apparently a lot of us are not self aware?

However I'm not exactly sure in what context they meant.

And the "how we affect others" is also more of a contextual thing. Like I know if I say XYZ I could easily offend somebody.

If somebody who wasn't INFP could explain...

It's mostly because ESTP's have Fi PolR, in reality It's just ESTP's projecting their Fi PolR at IxFP's which is why ESTPs think they have lack self-awareness, but in reality It's the opposite case.

 

[Luminous]

I agree that INFPs are often not aware of how they affect others or how weird they sometimes act around others.

INFPs can engage in fairly bizarre behavior. And they don't even realize that they are behaving strangely. INFPs live in their heads, and they are quite oblivious about other people's opinion of them. I've seen other INFPs engage in really weird behavior in society, seemingly clueless about how weird they were acting. And I have to admit that I've done some really weird stuff myself and only realized in retrospect that I was probably acting very oddly.

There is a great website that emphasizes each personality type's faults, and talks about how they can correct those faults. I really love the site--it's quite helpful in terms of personal development. It's called PersonalityPage.com. (When you go to the home page, click on the "Growth" tab and then go to the bottom of that page and select your personality type.) In the section devoted to INFPs, it lists the following fault: "May come across as eccentric, or perhaps even generally strange to others, without being aware of it"

Here is the full list of INFP typical faults from that website. There's definitely a heavy emphasis on the weirdness of INFPs in general, and how clueless they sometimes are about their own weirdness. I've bolded the portions that deal with INFP weirdness and their cluelessness about it.



Link: INFP Personal Growth

As the site explains, basically the problem is that young INFPs tend to emphasize their dominant Introverted Feeling, which means they tend to live in their heads. To get more awareness of the world around them, they need to work on their auxiliary Extroverted iNtuition as well and strengthen it.

"Behaving oddly" is a fault how? Being true to one's self and not just going along with the mass of people just so you aren't seen as "odd" is not at a fault. Maybe it is if you're an so dom. Or not an INFP.

Lacking awareness of what others think of you can be a fault because it can be harmful to one's self in terms of not allowing one to fully recognize when one is cared about and valued.

 

[HeMan’s hairdresser]

No way Jose. I adore the way the INFP brain works. No one makes me laugh like my INFP friend. Except for my ENTP friend. BUT ANYWAY when you guys are awkward & let your weirdo free IT’S BEAUTIFUL. I can’t get enough of it. I want to scoop my INFP friend up & keep her in my front pocket to have little conversations with always & forever. A little INFP Polly Pocket. I just wish you guys believed how awesome you are.

 

[Maou]

I typed as INFP in high school lol. Before I knew about psychology, MBTI, (before the trauma wore off) etc. I do not hate them. My only hinderence with them is learning how to color between the lines. It takes a lot of time, and most wont forgive you before then.

 

[lunalum]

The short answer is there's a lot of annoying stereotypes and misunderstandings concerning INFPs. They are also rather common in the typology community and that increases their visibility as a target. I'm a bit of a magnet for NFPs in general, both in type communities and out in the world. And as an expert, I can assure you all they are cool cats (Though there is a type contrast... the sum of our interactions makes my own Ti/Fe dynamic more apparent.)

 

[The Cat]

The short answer is there's a lot of annoying stereotypes and misunderstandings concerning INFPs. They are also rather common in the typology community and that increases their visibility as a target. I'm a bit of a magnet for NFPs in general, both in type communities and out in the world. And as an expert, I can assure you all they are cool cats (Though there is a type contrast... the sum of our interactions makes my own Ti/Fe dynamic more apparent.)

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Cannibals one and all.

 

[Luminous]

Cannibals one and all.

LIES!

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Some of us are knitters, not woodworkers.

 

[The Cat]

LIES!

the lady doth protest to much me thinks.

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knitting is so much more sinister somehow @_@

 

[evilrubberduckie]

INFP are my weakness. I love them to death but I don't seem to run into them too often, when I do they find me quiet jarring. Its not that I'm rude, I just get over excited like a puppy. So cute, the most interesting people honestly. Rubbing my curiosity the right way

 

[prplchknz]

INFP are my weakness. I love them to death but I don't seem to run into them too often, when I do they find me quiet jarring. Its not that I'm rude, I just get over excited like a puppy. So cute, the most interesting people honestly. Rubbing my curiosity the right way

you just described most of my friends. i swear they were all excited puppies when we met. they were the ones that took the lead and i was just like yay friend