Why do we enjoy the suffering of others?

[human101]

I witnessed people being bullied throughout my time in school and still see it verbally in university. I noticed teachers being indifferent and students laughing so coldly it almost spooked me literally about 10 guys absolutely insulting one guy for no reason and threatening him everyone laughing along with the main instigators. I tried to stand up for people in high school but was threatened with violence. I see the same in university but this time it is exclusively verbal. The common factor in these situations is that I notice people laughing as if it was comedy show, is out of fear ? are weak people just fun to laugh at ? I speak as a person who has witnessed it, been a victim, stood up for others and done nothing.

Why are we so cold to each other? sure we see our friends, go to the movies, play sports, donate or volunteer to charities but when humans see suffering right in front of them it seems they almost want to look away.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

People like being part of a group. Sometimes, the best way to do that is by picking someone to exclude, it seems. If a bunch of people appear to have nothing in common, they can all share that they are not that guy in common.

A lot of it is fear, too.

 

[Typh0n]

Its cowardice.

 

[five sounds]

I think it's a certain inability to see beyond one's self. The gratification of being applauded for good insults by others or feelings of superiority felt are more real to them than the damage being done to the victims.

 

[human101]

Its cowardice.

Definitely, is this a part of humanity that just has to be accepted I struggle to acknowledge it without some sadness.

 

[human101]

People like being part of a group. Sometimes, the best way to do that is by picking someone to exclude, it seems. If a bunch of people appear to have nothing in common, they can all share that they are not that guy in common.

A lot of it is fear, too.

This describes some of the things I see but, those who do it at least in my experience were popular and well adjusted what do they have to lose by not treating someone like this I wonder

 

[human101]

People like being part of a group. Sometimes, the best way to do that is by picking someone to exclude, it seems. If a bunch of people appear to have nothing in common, they can all share that they are not that guy in common.

A lot of it is fear, too.

This describes some of the things I see but, those who do it at least in my experience were popular and well adjusted what do they have to lose by not treating someone like this I wonder

 

[human101]

I think it's a certain inability to see beyond one's self. The gratification of being applauded for good insults by others or feelings of superiority felt are more real to them than the damage being done to the victims.

That's the essence of what I see but the one's who do this usually are surrounded by friends with an audience willing to laugh and not challenge them, what can they gain from someone who is already considered weak in that particular environment.

 

[five sounds]

That's the essence of what I see but the one's who do this usually are surrounded by friends with an audience willing to laugh and not challenge them, what can they gain from someone who is already considered weak in that particular environment.

Feelings of superiority for sure. Also being a member of a group can help diffuse feelings of personal responsibility for behavior any of the individuals might now engage in on their own.

 

[Stanton Moore]

Bullies often feel justified because they were bullied too. And on it goes...

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

This describes some of the things I see but, those who do it at least in my experience were popular and well adjusted what do they have to lose by not treating someone like this I wonder

I suspect they're annoyed by people who don't think they are the most awesome thing in the world, and just treat them like anyone else. They spent a lot of work building up that status, so they get annoyed by someone who is indifferent to it. They wonder why the usual tricks they have don't work, and that makes them uncomfortable. They expect more respect from others, and when they get mere indifference, this is threatening. Some people just don't know how to handle being treated as anything other than the most interesting, important person in the room.

That's what I've been able to figure out.

 

[Infinite Bubble]

Makes them feel better about themselves. That they're not the one who is "defective". If they are not defective, that means their genes are valuable for the continuation of the species.

 

[FemMecha]

It reassures their fear that they aren't the vulnerable one. It is evidence of a fractured sense of self.

This is one of a couple of things that can send me into a purely instinctual rage.

 

[Thalassa]

This describes some of the things I see but, those who do it at least in my experience were popular and well adjusted what do they have to lose by not treating someone like this I wonder

I think enneagram 3 and 8 when immature or less healthy will bully people despite their own popularity. Why? To exhibit dominance or reassurance to themselves that they exist. Im pretty sure low level eights push people around because they aren't evolved enough to be a mature leader and unhealthy threes believe that they are their image, so if pathetic will do anything to reinforce the image of social winning, even if it's childish or at the expense of others. Threes can be quite cold and calculating for a heart type.

But whether one bullies out of being a victim or a narcissistic scum bag, it's because of what fia says. She's right about them having a fractured or buried sense of self. They are insecure.

People laugh along out of fear usually, even if its just the fear that if they don't they will be the next outcast.

However I will totally admit that probably because of my gut fix being eight, I take a certain sadistic pleasure seeing people get what they deserve.

I hate seeing the weak or innocent abused and my counterphobic six self will go try to beat up the bully. So to speak.

 

[Typh0n]

Bullies often feel justified because they were bullied too. And on it goes...

I think that not "accepting" such behavior as ok is part of breaking the cycle. Too many teachers as well as kids tell people who have been bullied to just suck it up and deal with it. Thats what creates the problem, the cycle if you will, of unnacceptable behaviors.

Definitely, is this a part of humanity that just has to be accepted I struggle to acknowledge it without some sadness.

Understandeably so. Im not suggesting you accept this in any moral sense if thats what you mean, but perhaps at a scientific level we can see things objectively, in that case, in a detached manner, without sadness. But it doesnt mean we should accept it in our daily lives or in someone else's. Its like we have a scientific explanation for what causes the flu, which doesnt mean should do nothing about treating it when we get the flu.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I think that not "accepting" such behavior as ok is part of breaking the cycle. Too many teachers as well as kids tell people who have been bullied to just suck it up and deal with it. Thats what creates the problem, the cycle if you will, of unnacceptable behaviors.

A lot of people who throw their weight around like that are used to it working. It seems as though in these situations, there's one person initating the behavior, and then there's a group that's falling in line out of fear. It does seem as though a neutral party challenging the initiator can make a big difference, because suddenly the initiator doesn't seem to have so much social power. The followers see him or her as someone who doesn't have as much scary mysterious social power as they thought. Fear recedes.

It's all very tribal and primate-like, looked at this way.

 

[draon9]

Because it helps us escape from our own weaknesses and we were probably jealous of that persons potential success or in the here in now success

 

[á´…eparted]

I do not enjoy the suffering of others, and I loathe that people do, in particular if they flaunt that.

I enjoy it when justice is served, and when things are fair. That is immensely satisfying, but reveling the suffering part, no not at all.

I think people enjoy it because of the eye-for-an-eye mentality, and I just don't relate to it.

 

[prplchknz]

I don't when i see someone being bullied or made fun of i often feel powerless and will leave if i can because i want nothing to do with it. if i'm able to step in with out making it worse i will, but generally it makes me feel sick to see it. so i don't participate unless i hate the person and they've done it to me in the past. but most of the time i can't justify it.

 

[Pinker85]

I don't at all ... mostly for selfish reasons lmao. The happier people r around me, the easier and happier my life becomes, happy people r easier to interact with ... therefore, I want everyone around me to be absurdly happy with lives going as close to perfection as possible. But meh ... I also feel like if I can help someone I will try to help regardless of how I feel towards them, it's always like this feeling that ugh someone has to help, I don't know how to describe it ... but all bets are off if any of the above interferes with my nap or snack time.