I'm not sure how you can be confused between ENFP and INTJ. They are very different types. What makes you think you're either of them?
There is some confusion on a couple of points:
The weakness of my J/P distinction seems quite clear; I am quite balance in this way. I originally tested as an INTJ, my J/P has always been my weakest test result, always closest to center; I feel I am much more flexible than most INTJs.
The E/I distinction is skewed because of two different aspects of my personality that seem to have their own place; it is unclear which is dominant. I took a "kids" MBTI out of curiosity and turned out as an ExTJ (they don't give a reading on the N/S function), probably because I was a very talkative child who enjoyed showing off what I knew in class. In classrooms & on stages, I've never shied from the spotlight, and couldn't understand those who did. But in real life, a totally different story. Paying for lunch by myself (when I was very young) was almost traumatic for me; I worried about not having enough money to pay (I knew the prices, but I couldn't calculate the tax quickly enough under such pressure), and the thought of having to call my parents to the front of the line because of a mistake like that, in front of everyone, petrified me. Even going into a store without a clear idea what I needed terrified me. I also displayed little-to-no emotion in many situations. This was especially true as I got older but before high school. I would watch something on TV, and laugh internally, feeling the sensation of laughter inside and of course recognizing cognitively that it was funny, but my face wouldn't change a bit. And I couldn't make it change, even if I had wanted to. Even later, as this began to change, expressing my true feelings was impossible, and become more and more painfully-so. I always had considered myself an introvert, because even in social situations, I always preferred activities that didn’t require much social interaction. I was very sexual and outgoing, but I had little or no regard for the feelings of others (at least in my memory). I recall once, about 6 years old, trying to teach a girl in my class a very simple concept, and she got hung up on the addition of some number +1. I got frustrated and called her stupid and was punished, of course, for hurting her feelings. I was pretty bossy, and still can be if I’m really sure of something. I also changed schools often, leaving friends and places behind, but felt no sentimental attachments to what I left behind (at least not at the time). Lastly, I remember I always used to look at the ground when I walked, deep in thought and all but ignoring my surroundings. This continued until high school.
As far as my whole type, something drastically changed in my behavior during my sophomore year in high school that warrants mentioning. The first began with my mother: I began to pay attention to the affect my behavior would have on her mood, and I began to adapt my behavior accordingly to avoid her mood shifting in a severely negative direction. I also had recently found a group of about 6 other girls that welcomed me as their friend. At the beginning of the year, things were fine. I discovered that I had an ability to make people laugh, and we all got along very well. But near the end of the year, this attention paid to the various reactions in people based on my behavior took a manipulative turn. I began to tell them stories of my life, all truthful, but with strong emphasis on the parts that would gain me the most sympathy.
Things became increasingly dramatic. I wrote a suicide note to one of the girls, who had been the first friend in my group, without any intention of carrying out my threats. I would seek out ways to display my "troubled" nature and moodiness so they would sense that something was wrong & pursue the issue until I felt comfortable enough to share my true feelings. It ended in a totally disastrous mess. And after that, things were never the same. The same sort of thing happened in college, where I began feeding my life story to anyone who would listen, in search of someone who would take interest and help me in any way. Almost every time ended in disaster as well: I was nearly expelled because my friend worked for my dorm & was required to report anything that went against our religious school's strict behavioral guidelines, and I entrusted a couple of friends to "help" me through my hard time (following a breakup), and it ended in the severing of all the relationships because on both sides, we felt distrust and manipulation, despite our earnest intentions. During this time, I was able to develop previously-lacking people skills, but at the expense of my internal stability & sense of self. Most of this began with my mother, whose moods were never positively affected by my changes in my behavior. So I was completely oblivious to the NATURE of others' reactions, satisfied even if it only gained me a bit more attention into my personal life.
The truth is, I enjoy exploring different personalities, and I honestly enjoy people. This made my transition to a near-ENFP all the more smooth. I am now a successful teacher, with a strong ability to sense the "harmony" or disharmony in the room & divert the energy in an appropriate way to make everyone comfortable again: by humor or a change in subject or any number of things. And I do have a naturally perceptive reading of people, though I attribute this to a very invasive and emotionally-demanding mother, which diverted my otherwise-introverted focus outwardly into her world.
Again, I enjoy this activity of externally-focused intake and expression, but all of this developing came at the expense of my sureness of self & natural cognitive abilities. An avid reader and successful student as a child, I could no longer focus on schoolwork long enough to finish anything on time. I was distracted by an emotional distress that was always present and gnawing, but it seemed to me completely unknowable and resistant to expression; neither would it go away, no matter how much I prostituted my feelings to others or tried to focus internally for the purpose of creative expression (I was/am a songwriter and a music composition major). Everything got more confusing and dark. It wasn't until this year that I got some peace of mind. I had tossed around every option for every possible thought (at least it felt this way, though you can see I have a tendency for the dramatic
for years, and I still felt empty and distraught. But I found, in a relationship that began last year, that I had a chance to regain some integrity & claim to worth in my life. Here I can refer to an enneagram questionnaire I filled out last week, that should help explain what I mean: Questions 2-6 answered here for reference.
So here we have a focus on value systems, but it totally doesn't help me clarify my type, and in actuality (because of the recent nature of such a strong sentiment) only proves my NT type-ness. As best I can tell, I may have been an INTx as a child, but have overdeveloped my secondary F function due to a mild form of PTSD (at least that was my hurried diagnosis two years ago), and so would appear to have many of the same qualities as the ENFP type.*
Am I on the right track? Or totally heading in the wrong direction?
