When to be concerned

[proteanmix]

I don't understand when I should be concerned for another individual. There is a thread happening here that's frankly shocked the hell out of me. I mean as in what kind of people are posting on this forum shocked. I'm not trying to be dramatic or anything but I already have low trust levels for people but this just makes it nose dive.

So I just found this http://www.girlshealth.gov/safety/saferelationships/quiz.relsafe.cfm and I wonder if it's just a useless document. These questions I'm especially confused about:

Scenario: Helping your friend Kate.

Kate used to spend a lot of time with her friends, and was happy most of the time. Kate started seeing her new boyfriend, Steve, a few months ago. They seemed like the perfect couple, but Steve has been pressuring Kate to drink alcohol. She has stopped spending time with her friends. After school one day, you watched Steve grab Kate's arm and push her.

What should you do as Kate's friend?


1. Ignore it. You should mind your own business.
2. Tell everyone that you think that Steve is hurting Kate.
3. Talk to Kate and tell her that you are concerned about what is going on.
4. Yell at Steve in front of other people at school and accuse him of hurting Kate.


After you talked to Kate, she tells you that Steve does push her sometimes. She apologizes for his behavior and says that "he didn't mean it." What should you tell her?


1. Tell Kate that it is NOT okay that Steve pushes her.
2. Tell Kate that it is not her fault that he is violent.
3. Tell Kate that she should talk to an adult right away.
4. All of the above.

I've had friends like this before. I've friends in this EXACT situation, who don't even realize they're being mistreated and abused. They think they're being shown love or they somehow deserve.

I don't even feel like finishing this anymore, I'm disgusted.

 

[LucrativeSid]

That's a tough one. However, I don't think that anything you could try to do to help the friend could be worse than what she's already going through with her boyfriend, so why not give it a shot. It sucks when you give the best advice in the world and the person still doesn't take it. Can't get hung up on that, though. I would almost talk to Steve directly and not my friend cuz he's the one I'm pissed at! But I definitely would mention it to her. And if she's too sensitive, she won't like me very much after that.

 

[velocity]

tell her he's an idiot for not figuring out how to at least stop repeating "unintentional pushes"