What's something positive you try to keep in mind when negativity surrounds you?

[LightSun]

What's something positive you try to keep in mind when negativity surrounds you?

 

[Lark]

I saw a T-Shirt once that said something like "When work is tough remember you'll die", its not exactly positive but I think it does lend a certain sort of perspective to things.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I usually just reframe the situation. I may look at it as a challenge for me to overcome and grow from. Or I may look at it as an opportunity to make changes and try something new. I generally don't put up with a tremendous amount of negativity around me though, if it's involving people being dicks. I also try to voice when things bother me a lot, like boundaries being crossed. I'm also good at detaching, so perhaps it doesn't bother me as much as others overall.

 

[Lark]

I usually just reframe the situation. I may look at it as a challenge for me to overcome and grow from. Or I may look at it as an opportunity to make changes and try something new. I generally don't put up with a tremendous amount of negativity around me though, if it's involving people being dicks. I also try to voice when things bother me a lot, like boundaries being crossed. I'm also good at detaching, so perhaps it doesn't bother me as much as others overall.

Do you ever find that people reframe situations to counter your own reframing of it? Sometimes that happens to me and it bothers me, a lot, also attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you, I hate that, all the different sorts of shitty things which crafty people do to control a narrative, I hate all that and actually think its a more devious sort of negativity than more basic sorts, like complaining about things.

I've encountered more of this lately than I have in years but sometimes you meet people who are adept or who've become adept at pretty basic framing, reframing and response framing of situations and its worked for them for years, with other people, you come along and they just cast you in a part or role in some way, its like wow, wait a minute, I'm not some NPC in your narrative drive RPG. Or at least that's what I find. Borrowing loads from gaming culture there by way of an explanation so it'll make little sense.

 

[biohazard]

I think of 3 things or more of what I feel gratitude about everyday. Then if it still weighs on my mind, I turn my perspective around. I ask myself "What positives have come out of this??", "How have you improved?!", etc.

 

[1487610420]

salty caramel squares

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Do you ever find that people reframe situations to counter your own reframing of it? Sometimes that happens to me and it bothers me, a lot, also attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you, I hate that, all the different sorts of shitty things which crafty people do to control a narrative, I hate all that and actually think its a more devious sort of negativity than more basic sorts, like complaining about things.

I've encountered more of this lately than I have in years but sometimes you meet people who are adept or who've become adept at pretty basic framing, reframing and response framing of situations and its worked for them for years, with other people, you come along and they just cast you in a part or role in some way, its like wow, wait a minute, I'm not some NPC in your narrative drive RPG. Or at least that's what I find. Borrowing loads from gaming culture there by way of an explanation so it'll make little sense.

I can be a bit hypervigilant about the motivations of others, but overall, I am not an overly cynical person. I think people try their best most of the time, but they struggle with their own demons and that directs their choices. That's why I am so picky about the company I keep though.

 

[Warrior]

1) The thought that one day, when I'm ready, I'll be able to just lie in bed with a girl and cuddle and snuggle and kiss on the couch or bed or whatever and be gushy and romantic, knowing that no matter how bleak things seem, statistically speaking, and speaking from my luck in the past and how many times IIIII've actually called it off, it will happen.
2) that the more i suffer, the more my sins are expiated if i do the right thing as a response despite the fact that doing the wrong thing to ease the pain is an easy cure (Islamic belief)
3) social science research
4) calling my friend or family friends
5) pretending that my Toy dog Wrinkle is a living thing with part of my soul from when i was 2 (when i got him) inside of him but in evolved form from ever since i was 2, and now he is the military wing of my psyche and he has staged a coup d'etat and is ordering a shutdown of my mind. basically, i just act all numb and dont talk to anyone except "him" (talk to "him" as an imaginary friend like when i was little)
EDIT: 6) Talking to "Wrinkle" without a "coup d'etat"
7) cuddling with my pillows and talking to them
8) cuddling with wrinkle

 

[Smilephantomhive]

I just stay negative.

 

[Mole]

What's something positive you try to keep in mind when negativity surrounds you?

It is important to distinguish between critique and negativity for its own sake.

It is important to value and protect critique as we value and protect free speech, but the danger with negativity for its own sake is that it calls to negativity in us. So once we recognise this situation, it is important to practise restraint. Remembering that restraint is the sign of emotional intelligence.

So rather than keeping something positive in mind, it is most important not to become negative ourselves. Positivity soon reasserts itself.

 

[Hiraeth]

I isolate myself so that I'm totally alone. This by itself always helps so that I can introspect and set a reminder that another day will come; how everything doesn't remain static and eventually some happy moments will resurface again. Also keeping my mind toward the future and making sure it's not lingering in the past helps as well. Additionally with every negative there's a positive too, though you may need to dig deep to find it.

All in all I try to keep my mind as balanced as possible so that I don't go sinking down the cracks again and have a difficult time coming back up for air. Mind-body connection is really important also, but admittedly I don't work on it as often as I should.

 

[tinker683]

The quote thats in my signature. I also remember the speech by Rocky Balboa in the movie "Rocky Balboa" he gave to his son.

 

[❀༺♥༻ℭ𝔞𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔞_𝔄𝔦𝔰𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤༺♥༻❀༺]

I put things into perspective. I remember love, life, and God. I try to change what I can and wait for what I cant control right now. I remember all that I have to live for, and suddenly all the negative things tend to dissolve...

 

[LightSun]

I usually just reframe the situation. I may look at it as a challenge for me to overcome and grow from. Or I may look at it as an opportunity to make changes and try something new. I generally don't put up with a tremendous amount of negativity around me though, if it's involving people being dicks. I also try to voice when things bother me a lot, like boundaries being crossed. I'm also good at detaching, so perhaps it doesn't bother me as much as others overall.

Via Peter Deadpan (All quotations are Peter's followed by my reply)

(1) "...reframe the situation."

I have a saying either problem solve or refocus but the worst thing is to dwell on a problem or negativity.

(2) " I may look at it as a challenge for me to overcome and grow from." and "...look at it as an opportunity...changes and try something new."

This is a very enlightened view. Conflict, if we take responsibility of dealing with the situation in a rational way and not succumbing to base emotions can often facilitate growth. it is a mark of spiritual maturity and emotional regulation along having an internal locus of control.

(3) "I generally don't put up...tremendous amount of negativity around me..." and "...voice when things bother me a lot, like boundaries being crossed."

Neither do I. In fact another saying of mine is it takes two people to argue. Both however are projecting unfinished business and unresolved conflict and neither is listening to the other. I state my position. If the other is reasonable then dialogue can commence. If the other is unreasonable then I walk away.

 

[LightSun]

I usually just reframe the situation. I may look at it as a challenge for me to overcome and grow from. Or I may look at it as an opportunity to make changes and try something new. I generally don't put up with a tremendous amount of negativity around me though, if it's involving people being dicks. I also try to voice when things bother me a lot, like boundaries being crossed. I'm also good at detaching, so perhaps it doesn't bother me as much as others overall.

Via Survive & Stay Free
(1) "...attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you..."

One can not argue with an irrational person. One kind of person is where one finds common ground and synergy can occur. The other is a disagreeable fellow. All one can do is state your boundaries and remove yourself from a toxic situation.

 

[Eternal Harmony]

It depends because I make a difference between what I do and what I try to keep in mind.
First, I agree with that critique can be easily misinterpreted. Once I did myself until I have learned that critique of my art for example is no critique for my person and critique is individually. Some might find something not so good and others might love it. And always correct criticism is always a means of help to improve a position. But that is simply a thing to learn and make experience and does not automatically mean negativity, even if you feel for the first moment.

When it comes to real negativity like for example mobbing (just one example, there can be others negativities as well in daily live), I proceed as follows:

When I have the time to do something, I will isolate and meditate a bit; only a few minutes help me to calm down and react in another way.
If not, I will recall something positive (and that is the corner question of this thread). The things I recall in front of my inner eyes, are events that have been great success for me, like a poem recitation in a crowded church or some nice commission work, some nice invitation, some nice concert in full house, some meeting with close friends... there are so many things to mention). These pictures will distract me from the negative environment.

After getting this distance, analysis starts. I always so. First it is me. Have I done something wrong? What have I done?
If the result is that it was my fault, I try to think about what to improve and how to work on it.

If I come to the conclusion that it will no mistake from my part, I try to analyze the others standpoint.
Concerning mobbing, for example: They are unsatisfied with themselves and their own productivity so they envy others productivity, they would like to have the same but without investing something, they want to get/give something they never have learned to get/give ....

What stays is usually compassion and understanding and without hook or any showing, I start to work on converting their negative mood into a positive one.

I know ... sounds quite complicated, but I am patient and have time

 

[LightSun]

Do you ever find that people reframe situations to counter your own reframing of it? Sometimes that happens to me and it bothers me, a lot, also attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you, I hate that, all the different sorts of shitty things which crafty people do to control a narrative, I hate all that and actually think its a more devious sort of negativity than more basic sorts, like complaining about things.

I've encountered more of this lately than I have in years but sometimes you meet people who are adept or who've become adept at pretty basic framing, reframing and response framing of situations and its worked for them for years, with other people, you come along and they just cast you in a part or role in some way, its like wow, wait a minute, I'm not some NPC in your narrative drive RPG. Or at least that's what I find. Borrowing loads from gaming culture there by way of an explanation so it'll make little sense.

Survive & Stay Free wrote, (1) "...attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you..."


One can not argue with an irrational person. One kind of person is where one finds common ground and synergy can occur. The other is a disagreeable fellow. All one can do is state your boundaries and remove yourself from a toxic situation.

 

[LightSun]

Via Survive & Stay Free
(1) "...attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you..."

One can not argue with an irrational person. One kind of person is where one finds common ground and synergy can occur. The other is a disagreeable fellow. All one can do is state your boundaries and remove yourself from a toxic situation.

Do you ever find that people reframe situations to counter your own reframing of it? Sometimes that happens to me and it bothers me, a lot, also attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you, I hate that, all the different sorts of shitty things which crafty people do to control a narrative, I hate all that and actually think its a more devious sort of negativity than more basic sorts, like complaining about things.

I've encountered more of this lately than I have in years but sometimes you meet people who are adept or who've become adept at pretty basic framing, reframing and response framing of situations and its worked for them for years, with other people, you come along and they just cast you in a part or role in some way, its like wow, wait a minute, I'm not some NPC in your narrative drive RPG. Or at least that's what I find. Borrowing loads from gaming culture there by way of an explanation so it'll make little sense.

Survive & Stay Free wrote, (1) "...attribution, when others attribute motives or a role to you..."

One can not argue with an irrational person. One kind of person is where one finds common ground and synergy can occur. The other is a disagreeable fellow. All one can do is state your boundaries and remove yourself from a toxic situation.

 

[LightSun]

"I have two very simple concepts. One is not to spread negativity and the other more difficult one is not to repay a negative with a negative. This would usher in so much peace if people could only follow it. It goes back to the old adage of can't we all just get along? If one can not say either something positive or constructive then it would behoove the person to remain silent. If negative they portray their own ignorance. It takes great strength of will to follow the above two precepts and is a mark of both spiritual maturity and emotional regulation. I have a saying either problem solve or refocus but the worst thing is to dwell on a problem or negativity. Conflict, if we take responsibility of dealing with the situation in a rational way and not succumbing to base emotions can often facilitate growth.

One can not argue with an irrational person. One kind of person is where one finds common ground and synergy can occur. The other is a disagreeable fellow. All one can do is state your boundaries and remove yourself from a toxic situation. It is a mark of spiritual maturity and emotional regulation along having an internal locus of control to disengage from conflict. Another saying of mine is it takes two people to argue. Both however are projecting unfinished business and unresolved conflict and neither is listening to the other. When repaying a negative with a negative the unconscious has been triggered. The person is not reacting towards the situation rather it is a blind spot and one is projecting their own unfinished business and unresolved conflict.

I state my position. If the other is reasonable then dialogue can commence. If the other is unreasonable then I walk away. It is a constant process of refining and taking the high road in all situations with a mixture of Agape compassion and reason. Thence it is a mark of spiritual maturity and emotional regulation to make the unconscious conscious and act not react. "

 

[Lark]

I like the speech in fight club, I'm not sure if you'd call it gallows humour or if its some kind of cultural thing, someone made the observation once about the gaels that all their wars were merry and all their songs were sad (the preface is that the great gaels of ireland were the men that God made mad) and I think things are a bit like that sometimes.

That said I like ideas like Erich Fromm and others idea about biophilia and that helps me, the idea that if you look around and you can not find or see the good in the situation its because you are or are being called upon to be the good yourself, different speeches from pop culture or history are uplifting too.