What Is My Sister's Type?

[FallaciaSonata]

Been doing a lot more thinking on my Dad's type, and in addition to that, my sister's. I can't figure her out for the life of me. So I thought, if you don't mind, I'd recruit some help.

Here's what I do know:

She took the test I initially took (gag test?) on that site that's in my signature. She tested as ENFJ, read the profile, and it didn't match --- according to her. She also told me, somewhat vehemently, that "you can't type me because I'm not a stereotype like you. You're weird."

From observation, I vote ambiverted. At work and at church, she is extremely extroverted --- nonstop communication with her friends, with her customers, with her coworkers, etc. She's very friendly, very nice, and somehow able to "understand people". I don't really know where she gets that from. T/F difference perhaps?

In stark contrast, at home, she acts like a total introvert. Does nothing but read books, watch her TV shows, and play with the puppy. Gets on the computer every now and then, but mostly just for MySpace and stuff like that. Oh, and more reading.

I'm not sure if she prefers Sensing or iNtuition. We were both homeschooled, but I excelled in everything but the dreaded N math --- Algebra. I'm generally self motivated, but she requires.....more pushing from Mom. She isn't stupid --- don't take it that way --- but she tends to excel only in what she "likes".

We tend to get in arguments a lot (we have a good brother/sister relationship though, we're not....at each other's throats or anything) but I have difficulty telling if these spats are T/F related or I/E. Or even S/N, if she's an N.

Sometimes I just need some alone time, to be in introvert land, but she insists on going over to so-and-so's and wants me to go too since we were both invited. I explain that because "everyone" (the whole church, or youth group, or work group, or whatever) was invited, then they're not going to miss me. She usually gets upset at this point and stomps off to God knows where.

In other cases, it'll be something more like......description. I'll try to ask her something, without any kind of negativity or sarcasm, with an honest intention to learn, and she blows it off. I'll try to probe a bit, to see why she does what she does, to learn about it, and she either gets irritated or....can't explain it. I don't get that --- I'm able to explain almost every move I make. Why can't she?

In terms of J/P, I think she's middle of the road here too. Sorta. She says she has OCD like Mom and myself, but I know from living with her that she doesn't have it anywhere near as much as us. For example --- she's OK with leaving the cups on the coffee table when she's done drinking her pop or whatever, and she's cool with leaving her gross socks on the floor when she gets home from work. She's also OK with leaving something out "because she'll use it later". Oddly enough, though, her bookshelf is in perfect order (just as orderly as mine) and so is her DVD rack. But the rest of her room looks like a tornado went through it.

I once made a joke, saying I'd write another book, and title it "How to Plan a Spontaneous Evening". Mom thought it was funny. But that's here nor there. I think my sister does a little bit of both. She does plan things....sometimes. But other times, she just randomly gets up and says, "I'm gonna go to the mall". I'm having issues here deciding if she's J or P.

She also gets along with my friend Jordan very well, albeit in a different manner than I do. He's an ISFP.

I don't want to make this post forever long, so I'll stop here. Any suggestions out there? Comments, concerns, questions welcome.

 

[Oaky]

I'm not totally sure but she sounds like an ENFP.
How would she dress? That could help in defining whether she would be an N or an S and a J or a P

 

[FallaciaSonata]

Her dress style is similar to my Mom's - it's not necessarily the most expensive or the name-branded (Mom views buying expensive brands as a waste of money, as do I, and my sister is even more frugal about it.) however, they always "look good". They are concerned with outer appearance, not to the extreme, but everything has to match and fit in the right color scheme, the purse and shoes have to accessorize, etc.

On a typical day, she gets up and remains in her pajamas until (or unless) she has to go to work or to somewhere else. If either case occurs, she gets up and dresses up for the occasion. Does her hair for work, too.

 

[Oaky]

Does she like to have a unique way of dressing though? Like WITH the new fashion trend or her own fashion?

 

[FallaciaSonata]

That sounds like a girl question to me. I don't know if I can answer that one. I can tell you, however, that she is not concerned with other people's opinion of how she dresses. (i.e. She doesn't care about the "Hollister crowd" and the like.)

I suppose....it's her own fashion then? She makes it look just as good as everyone else's, but doesn't spend $50 on a t-shirt. (Exaggeration, but you get the point.)

But then again, she does read what I refer to as "girly" magazines, and she does watch the E! channel I so despise every now and then. Pop Culture....and Celebrities....ugh.

 

[poppy]

She sounds like an extrovert for sure, probably a feeler. EXFP would be my guess.

 

[Oaky]

Same here
Sounds to me like she is more of an N then an S. Could be a weak N though. Either way if I were to type her personality it would most likely be an ENFP with a weak N and P.

 

[Thalassa]

Her dress style is similar to my Mom's - it's not necessarily the most expensive or the name-branded (Mom views buying expensive brands as a waste of money, as do I, and my sister is even more frugal about it.) however, they always "look good". They are concerned with outer appearance, not to the extreme, but everything has to match and fit in the right color scheme, the purse and shoes have to accessorize, etc.

On a typical day, she gets up and remains in her pajamas until (or unless) she has to go to work or to somewhere else. If either case occurs, she gets up and dresses up for the occasion. Does her hair for work, too.

I think she's an ESFP.

 

[Colors]

You're not giving us a whole lot to work off of, FS! She just sounds normal! Plenty of people leave cups lying around, most people can spontaneously go to the mall! Most girls don't drop fifty dollars on a t-shirt!

What really motivates her? What does she get really excited about?

 

[FallaciaSonata]

Perhaps we should look at function rather than individual letters that make up the type itself. She seems to use a lot of Fi, from what I can see. Could be wrong though. Her distaste for authority in general seems a bit N, too, from what I've read.

Perhaps she's an ENFP then. Would make sense, if she's really using the Fi I think I'm noticing. What are aspects of Ne that would stand out?

But then again....ESFP seems likely as well. Except she's not really spend-happy. She saves....very frugal.

So, we've got ExFx then?

 

[FallaciaSonata]

Well....let's see. What motivates her....

That's hard to figure out. For as long as I can remember, being the older sibling, she always "had to do whatever I was doing". Even now, she does it, without knowing. Mom and I discussed this. When I turned sixteen, I wanted a job. You know, to save money and to buy stuff. What's she do? Complain that she wants a job, and the day she turned sixteen, she hired in where I did.

However.....she's stubborn. She doesn't do something unless she wants to. She can be made to do something, but only by Mom or Dad and she doesn't give in without a good deal of fuss. I'm the opposite -- I do what I'm told, whether I like it or not. I hate conflict.

What excites her.... She seems to look forward to spending time with her friends, and learning the 'latest' among them. Sounds like extroverted behavior, and I think we've got that one already.

The only other things that excite her are....well, she likes animals a lot, and was really excited when we got the new puppy. Although she's not a fan of cleaning up after it and doing all of those "other" jobs. (Mom picks up the slack a *lot* in that department.)

 

[Orangey]

Moved to What's my Type?

 

[BlueScreen]

I think she sounds like an ENFJ. Well a lot more than an ENFP. Her concerns with social expectation, outward appearance, etc. In what way did the profile not fit?

 

[FallaciaSonata]

That, she didn't say. She read the profile herself, and although I was in the room, she didn't say much. So I don't really know what did and did not fit. I tried asking as well, but, as stated earlier, she shrugs it off or gets irritated. (Random, I think.)

I'll keep watching.

 

[BlueScreen]

Probably not an ENFP then. We tend to love psychology and theories, and would normally volunteer to have our brains analysed .

Doesn't sound that ENFJ either, as they normally give people and ideas a go also.

 

[FallaciaSonata]

Ok. Been observing some more, and this time, with some assistance from Mom. (I don't have enough memory to recall my sister's likeness as a child --- I am only one and a half years older.)

She is exhibiting a very, very, strong F preference. Very frequently. However, I've noticed the F manifests itself in the form of emotional outbursts (usually anger) when stirred. For example, when we are "arguing". (I would prefer to call it, me probing her brain, or perhaps an intellectual discussion.)

Because of the strong F preference, I thought possibly ISFP. My friend Jordan has taken the test and I've watched him for a longer period of time --- he is without a doubt the ISFP. My sister and he share many of the same qualities - most notably the ability to go from extreme social-ness to extreme introversion. (If he's not out with a bunch of his buddies, he's at home in his room, all alone, for hours, on his guitar. My sister is much the same, only reading instead of playing the guitar.)

I also looked up more information on ENFP and ESFP, but I had no choice but to disregard them for the most part, due to her introverted tendencies and her lack of....two things. She's extremely good with money, and I've heard the ESFP isn't exactly the best at it. Noigmn hit the nail on the head, too, when mentioning that the N types would normally be more open to ideas.

I imagine a strong Fi value system that prefers that brains not be analyzed, (in her words) "because you can't analyze stuff like that".....should be considered. At first, I thought she just had a strong Fe, but perhaps it's just Fi, but she is more open with it around me because we live in the same house. After all, I'm by far more open with my Tertiary Fi and my Si + Te thoughts with my immediate family.

I've heard from others, and I know from experience, that ISTJs can "masquerade as other types" when necessary. I don't know for certain, but I'm sure that other types can do this as well, and if so, is my sister's type eluding me due to a mask effect?

From what I've gleaned from my Mom, and from the few scant recollections I have, my sister was neither the attention-grabbing Extroverted child nor the quiet-preferring Introverted child, like I was.

I'll point out the few "big" things I noted from my recollections and my Mom's discussion.

1. My sister always had to do anything I did. I don't know if this is just younger sibling syndrome, but this goes for everything --- I went to kindergarten, and then she wanted to go. I touched a clothing display at sears and then she had to touch it. (Same item, too, in exact synchronicity.)

2. We used to play together until we argued, but our squabbles are much like our current ones --- stemming from a T/F difference. I would ask/do the logical thing, and she would get upset over something like, "that's not nice/fair, etc" or "just because". (I have asked her before to be specific with why she gets upset, or acts in certain ways, and she always either evades the question or gives an intentionally vague response.)

3. She had/has a more independent streak than I do - both as a child and even now. As children, when separated from our parents, she generally was fine. I, however, would sometimes break down into tears. (Like the time I went to camp. I was not forced to go -- it was my own decision, but because I was not aware of how "out of my element" it would place me, I broke after two days of that horrid place and called Mom in tears to come get me. My sister, however, was completely fine -- and she was in the dorm next door.)



For a long time I could have sworn she was Extroverted. But now I'm thinking a little differently, thanks to my Mom's observations. She pointed out my sister's preference to staying home frequently to read or watch her shows, or the like, when she could be setting up an outing with her friends. My Mom and I took a closer peek at the ISFP's profile and a few other resources I dug up and I currently think it's the closest.

For the sake of simplicity, I have broken down the ISFP profile into the top six aspects my sister has, and then the bottom six which she does not:

Top Six: Aspects She Does Have

1. Very strong set of values
2. Kind, gentle, and sensitive. (Not necessarily with her brother. : D )
3. Great deal of effort / energy into tasks "she believes in" (or as I see, "likes".)
4. She does not like to lead or control, and likewise, she hates being lead or controlled.
5. She hates impersonal analysis, especially when I do it. I imagine this is because she makes decisions based on an internal value system, devoid of "objective rules or laws".
6. Shows her love through action and not the spoken word --- great example of this was just yesterday. She offered to wash my car for ten dollars, (and I, being nice, respectfully declined without telling her I could get a car wash from a machine down the road for five,) and even though I said no, she comes back in my room an hour later saying "I washed your car anyway just 'cause." Who does that....?

Bottom Six: Aspects She Does Not Have

1. Quiet, reserved, and hard to get to know.
2. She isn't "artistic". (She tried piano, had natural talent in my opinion, but hated it.) She doesn't really do anything artistic, that I would think of. She doesn't paint, sculpt, play music, build/create things, or anything like that.
3. ISFPs have been described as "hating conflict". I can't say if she does or not, but she is certainly not opposed to starting it....if it is for "the right cause" I would imagine. And we do "argue" a lot.
4. ISFPs have been described as "valuing being seen and understood for who they are". If she is this way, would she not be more willing to let me probe her brain? Or does she dismiss me as her wacko brother?
5. I'm not saying she's the best at it, but she's certainly not "bad at long range (financial or other) planning. She can do it if it coincides with her current goal, I imagine.
6. She had little issues with learning in school. Hands-on learning was a bonus, but she was more than capable of doing it by just reading (the way I'd do it.)


After those pros and cons there, I think she's using a lot of Fi and Se. Or perhaps both Fi and Fe, although I don't know how one could use both that much. She's very much opposed to Te in general (I do that a lot and she hates it) and I don't think she quite "gets" Si either, because both my Mom and I do that as a dominant. That said, the vast majority of our problems come from a T/F conflict and/or a J/P conflict. But those problems are easily handled and don't come every single day.

Any additional thoughts?

 

[Asterion]

Okay, well, that point you mentioned about wanting to do whatever you do, is likely enneagram 7 behavior, not wanting to miss out on anything, my brother does the exact same thing, I've studied it carefully, lol. But where you mentioned that she reads and stuff instead of going out, that kind of falls out of the 7 range. I was thinking ESFP before, but it would be stupid to think that a ESFP 7 could ever test as a J. With the introvert twist in play, it's quite possible that she'd test as a J at the very least, and her talking to everyone, there's that E. Don't know about the N/S, but it's still quite probable.

 

[FallaciaSonata]

This has become quite the puzzle. I was thinking about introversion and how it relates to other people, and I thought...."What if I'm thinking she's extroverted because I'm "super-introverted"? What if she's just slightly introverted?"

My Dad is an ISTP, my Mom is an ISTJ, and my sister is....well, we're working on that. But I know I'm more introverted than all of them --- that is, I spend / require the most time alone. Hm....

She keeps procrastinating in taking my "ISTJ test" as she so calls it. It's just a cognitive functions test..... Strange little cookie, she is.