Saturnal Snowqueen
Solastalgia 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2019
- Messages
- 6,134
- MBTI Type
- FELV
- Enneagram
- 974
- Instinctual Variant
- so/sp
Hi guys! I know I'm super 9, but I've never been sure of my full tritype. 4w3 or 4w5 for heart, I don't know! Heads have been all over the place. People have seen 7 in me, but I've tested as all the heads and find them all relatable. Can you help me check?
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
I'm certain I have a 9w1 for a gut, but the other fixes are just hard, I see myself in almost all of them.
Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
Bored, reflective about life/feelings, restless
Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
Could be better. I could be better at making friends. I am an introvert, but yeah, I have trouble relating to people. Plus, I'm anxious as heck about all sorts of things. I'm just an average nerd trying to get by in life. I enjoy spending time with animals, jamming to music, art, road trips to new places, reading about different subjects, board and video games, and food/cooking.
b. What do you think of yourself?
I'm a mess, but I'm a decent person, I try! I'd describe myself as creative, very curious, a goofball, and easygoing, but also anxious and scatterbrained.
c. What have others said about you?
For the good, I've been told that I see the best in others, and yeah, I agree. I've been described as wanting everyone to get along, also true. I have told that I'm modest and creative-got voted most original in middle school! Hehe, I try. I've also been called adventurous too, mostly when I'm eating things like ghost peppers and octopus. But for the bad, I've been told I'm indecisive. I am; there's self-doubt, I want to accommodate people, and I want to try everything. I've also been told I don't speak up a lot.
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
Probably assertiveness. Been that way since I was a kid. I wasn't one to ask for help and found it hard to say no to others. Didn't want to disappoint people.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
Said assertiveness, social skills, more focus(clearer goals, being less scatterbrained)
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
Falling outs usually happen if the person is simply not loyal. If it's me to blame, the last major thing was me having two friends argue and me trying to support both of the same time. In romance, it was me missing the person too much(we went to different schools).
6. Which types do you identify with most?
4, 6, 9, 7, 3, 5 ahh so many.
a. How do you relate to these types?
9- Go-with-the-flow, always ready to compromise, very conflict avoidant, not very assertive, sees both sides in a conflict
4-Relate to that jealousy of people being more unique than me, beauty-oriented(love aesthetics and nature), like to express myself creatively
3-Fear wasting my potential, want to make something out of myself, can be competitive
7-Love novelty and variety, get restless a lot, get depressed when in ruts, relate to having lots of unfinished projects, flee from negative feelings(like trying to avoid deep dark talks, joking about my problems a lot)
6-Need a support system, find myself doubting myself a lot, attuned to the dangers of my environment
5-I withdraw in my head lot, need to feel prepared and competent, am observant, am open-minded, often private, try to be independent and love to learn
I think my indecisiveness could apply to most of these. Also, for 9 and 7, I'm usually an optimist. I find myself saying, "What the hey?" a lot.
How do you NOT relate to them?
9-I can be cheeky and do like to debate, which could be called conflict. I think it's fun, but I have to be close to the person. I guess it's the seeing both sides of an argument, but yeah, I can be quite the devils' advocate when I want to be. Also, I'm not always that trusting. Like, I'm go-with-the-flow and generally optimistic, but I can't help but have the worst case scenario in the back of my mind a lot.
7-I'm more of an introvert, and 7s are usually extroverts
4-It says they like melancholy, and I usually don't. While I enjoy a few sad instrumental songs here and there, I usually try to keep things light and happy.
3-Don't seek a ton of spotlight(like I'd want behind the scenes admiration more), not always that ambitious. Well it depends, I've gone on scholarship binges. But, for example, I like fancy things, but more cause of the novelty. For the most part, I don't feel I need a big house or car.
6-Not particularly loyal to anything, at least like certain causes or beliefs
7. Which types are least like you?
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
8. I don't seek power and am not very assertive. I'm not very confident and am slow to anger, at least on the outside. I am more of a follower than a leader unless I have a creative idea I want to share.
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
Eh, I protect the underdog.
9. What is the message your superego tells you? Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).
If I'm mad about myself, my brain usually calls me incompetent, unspecial, a failure. I get mad about letting people down, wasting opportunity, wasting potential, that kind of stuff.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I wish I was more well-known. Not so much that people swamp me, but y'know. I want to have a passion and be known for something, especially being creative. I want to be seen as competent, helpful/caring, innovative, and just a kind, peaceful person in general.
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
As a kid, my mother and I loved being creative together, we were both into arts and crafts. However, she did become an alcoholic and we fought a lot. So, I guess that's part of why I avoid conflict, so I don't relive those things. I guess this was just a matter of circumstance, but it was a quiet household, and I felt like fending for myself a lot. My dad and I are similar-quiet, go-with-the flow goofballs. He taught me how to keep things light-he likes to pull pranks and sing parodies in the car
. He's very practical, and I've learned lots about the world from him, how to be more successful.
Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
I must do everything to maintain my world: Like safety? Yeah. Like I can be risk-taking in terms of some fun things, but I also very focused on my security and health.
I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and undeserving of attention: Ahahahah yup, I just feel kinda small
I feel imperfect, not (good) enough: Unfortunately, I feel that way a lot. I just want to be a good and smart person.
I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed: I do feel abandoned by people, plus I do feel flawed a lot and it's kinda a weird feeling.
I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things: I feel that way, but I don't care too much about it
People have wronged and messed with me: Live and let live! Even though I feel that way at times, I forgive very easily.
I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate: Third wheel here! Also, I definitely do feel cut off from a lot of outside events.
I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack: Yeah, more the latter. It's not always attacks from people, but attack from the environment. I'm very cautious about dangers, like flashes might
scare me cause they make me think of sparks xD. But, I'm admittedly suspicious of people despite seeing the best in them.
I've had a sense of being rejectable: People do make me feel that way, I have lots of fluctuating self-confidence.
12. Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
3.- to be "okay", having it together: Resonates well, although I feel like it's more an outside thing? Like I definitely want to feel ok on the inside too, but I just try to keep the calm on the outside. For the inside though, I do really want to find inner peace.
8.- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause: Ehh, I try to be loyal to people. Not really to causes though, perhaps my interests. I definitely like helping out, but I'm a little scattered to be particularly loyal to a cause.
1- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative: Yeah, definitely. I've always wanted to be different/creative-whether that'd be through my clothes, through my art, my food or through my writing.
6- to be knowledgeable: Well, I feel like this is more of an interest. I'm very curious and love sharing random ideas/facts. But I do find myself worrying a lot if I'll be competent.
9.- to be powerful, strong, unassailable: Yeah, I don't really care about power
4-to be accomplished and successful: This would be nice. Don't really care about the spotlight for the most part though, although I've of dreamed of being internet famous. But yeah, I want to try to achieve something in life and not waste my potential.
2.- to strive to become/behave like a good person: Yup, I can easily beat myself up if I do something wrong. Doesn't matter when the bad thing happened either :/ A good person is debatable though. For me, it's being responsible, generous, and open-minded towards new things and beliefs.
7- to be a loveable person: I do want to feel appreciated and for people to be loyal to me
5- to be loving and benevolent: I'm not always super fuzzy, but I do really like to help people out, pick the perfect gift, feel useful, that stuff. Also, I can be very romantic.
13. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious: Yeah, I have a tendency to simplify my needs, and I just don't want to create conflict in general and make a fuss.
Rejection, being needy, and not being loved: Yup. I just want to fit in(friend wise), plus, like in the last question, I just try not to be needy.
Weak and not being on top of things: Eh, don't really want to be weak, but I've never really cared about that much
Failure: Definitely. Burnout gifted kid much? Yeah, I beat myself up for failing a lot and not living up to my potential
Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost: I definitely feel that way a lot. It has played a prominent role, feeling lost in life, like some sort of lost puppy dog who can't fend for themselves. Plus there's the avoiding negative feelings.
Entanglements and losing what I have: Definitely. I try to avoid conflict and I can admittedly be clingy, whether that's in relationships or moving/homesickness
Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough: Yeah. It probably sounds kinda corny, but I have felt that way a lot, like I'm different from others, like I'm some sort of movie character.
Boredom, grunt work, and being exposed as a charlatan: Pretty afraid. I'm no party animal, but ruts and routine are very depressing. I really do like trying new things, the novel. Variety is the spice of life!
A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized: Haha, yup, I'm a very anxious person
I hope this is enough! Definitely ask more questions.
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
I'm certain I have a 9w1 for a gut, but the other fixes are just hard, I see myself in almost all of them.
Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
Bored, reflective about life/feelings, restless
Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
Could be better. I could be better at making friends. I am an introvert, but yeah, I have trouble relating to people. Plus, I'm anxious as heck about all sorts of things. I'm just an average nerd trying to get by in life. I enjoy spending time with animals, jamming to music, art, road trips to new places, reading about different subjects, board and video games, and food/cooking.
b. What do you think of yourself?
I'm a mess, but I'm a decent person, I try! I'd describe myself as creative, very curious, a goofball, and easygoing, but also anxious and scatterbrained.
c. What have others said about you?
For the good, I've been told that I see the best in others, and yeah, I agree. I've been described as wanting everyone to get along, also true. I have told that I'm modest and creative-got voted most original in middle school! Hehe, I try. I've also been called adventurous too, mostly when I'm eating things like ghost peppers and octopus. But for the bad, I've been told I'm indecisive. I am; there's self-doubt, I want to accommodate people, and I want to try everything. I've also been told I don't speak up a lot.
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
Probably assertiveness. Been that way since I was a kid. I wasn't one to ask for help and found it hard to say no to others. Didn't want to disappoint people.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
Said assertiveness, social skills, more focus(clearer goals, being less scatterbrained)
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
Falling outs usually happen if the person is simply not loyal. If it's me to blame, the last major thing was me having two friends argue and me trying to support both of the same time. In romance, it was me missing the person too much(we went to different schools).
6. Which types do you identify with most?
4, 6, 9, 7, 3, 5 ahh so many.
a. How do you relate to these types?
9- Go-with-the-flow, always ready to compromise, very conflict avoidant, not very assertive, sees both sides in a conflict
4-Relate to that jealousy of people being more unique than me, beauty-oriented(love aesthetics and nature), like to express myself creatively
3-Fear wasting my potential, want to make something out of myself, can be competitive
7-Love novelty and variety, get restless a lot, get depressed when in ruts, relate to having lots of unfinished projects, flee from negative feelings(like trying to avoid deep dark talks, joking about my problems a lot)
6-Need a support system, find myself doubting myself a lot, attuned to the dangers of my environment
5-I withdraw in my head lot, need to feel prepared and competent, am observant, am open-minded, often private, try to be independent and love to learn
I think my indecisiveness could apply to most of these. Also, for 9 and 7, I'm usually an optimist. I find myself saying, "What the hey?" a lot.
How do you NOT relate to them?
9-I can be cheeky and do like to debate, which could be called conflict. I think it's fun, but I have to be close to the person. I guess it's the seeing both sides of an argument, but yeah, I can be quite the devils' advocate when I want to be. Also, I'm not always that trusting. Like, I'm go-with-the-flow and generally optimistic, but I can't help but have the worst case scenario in the back of my mind a lot.
7-I'm more of an introvert, and 7s are usually extroverts
4-It says they like melancholy, and I usually don't. While I enjoy a few sad instrumental songs here and there, I usually try to keep things light and happy.
3-Don't seek a ton of spotlight(like I'd want behind the scenes admiration more), not always that ambitious. Well it depends, I've gone on scholarship binges. But, for example, I like fancy things, but more cause of the novelty. For the most part, I don't feel I need a big house or car.
6-Not particularly loyal to anything, at least like certain causes or beliefs
7. Which types are least like you?
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
8. I don't seek power and am not very assertive. I'm not very confident and am slow to anger, at least on the outside. I am more of a follower than a leader unless I have a creative idea I want to share.
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
Eh, I protect the underdog.
9. What is the message your superego tells you? Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).
If I'm mad about myself, my brain usually calls me incompetent, unspecial, a failure. I get mad about letting people down, wasting opportunity, wasting potential, that kind of stuff.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I wish I was more well-known. Not so much that people swamp me, but y'know. I want to have a passion and be known for something, especially being creative. I want to be seen as competent, helpful/caring, innovative, and just a kind, peaceful person in general.
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
As a kid, my mother and I loved being creative together, we were both into arts and crafts. However, she did become an alcoholic and we fought a lot. So, I guess that's part of why I avoid conflict, so I don't relive those things. I guess this was just a matter of circumstance, but it was a quiet household, and I felt like fending for myself a lot. My dad and I are similar-quiet, go-with-the flow goofballs. He taught me how to keep things light-he likes to pull pranks and sing parodies in the car
. He's very practical, and I've learned lots about the world from him, how to be more successful.Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
I must do everything to maintain my world: Like safety? Yeah. Like I can be risk-taking in terms of some fun things, but I also very focused on my security and health.
I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and undeserving of attention: Ahahahah yup, I just feel kinda small
I feel imperfect, not (good) enough: Unfortunately, I feel that way a lot. I just want to be a good and smart person.
I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed: I do feel abandoned by people, plus I do feel flawed a lot and it's kinda a weird feeling.
I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things: I feel that way, but I don't care too much about it
People have wronged and messed with me: Live and let live! Even though I feel that way at times, I forgive very easily.
I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate: Third wheel here! Also, I definitely do feel cut off from a lot of outside events.
I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack: Yeah, more the latter. It's not always attacks from people, but attack from the environment. I'm very cautious about dangers, like flashes might
scare me cause they make me think of sparks xD. But, I'm admittedly suspicious of people despite seeing the best in them.
I've had a sense of being rejectable: People do make me feel that way, I have lots of fluctuating self-confidence.
12. Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
3.- to be "okay", having it together: Resonates well, although I feel like it's more an outside thing? Like I definitely want to feel ok on the inside too, but I just try to keep the calm on the outside. For the inside though, I do really want to find inner peace.
8.- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause: Ehh, I try to be loyal to people. Not really to causes though, perhaps my interests. I definitely like helping out, but I'm a little scattered to be particularly loyal to a cause.
1- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative: Yeah, definitely. I've always wanted to be different/creative-whether that'd be through my clothes, through my art, my food or through my writing.
6- to be knowledgeable: Well, I feel like this is more of an interest. I'm very curious and love sharing random ideas/facts. But I do find myself worrying a lot if I'll be competent.
9.- to be powerful, strong, unassailable: Yeah, I don't really care about power
4-to be accomplished and successful: This would be nice. Don't really care about the spotlight for the most part though, although I've of dreamed of being internet famous. But yeah, I want to try to achieve something in life and not waste my potential.
2.- to strive to become/behave like a good person: Yup, I can easily beat myself up if I do something wrong. Doesn't matter when the bad thing happened either :/ A good person is debatable though. For me, it's being responsible, generous, and open-minded towards new things and beliefs.
7- to be a loveable person: I do want to feel appreciated and for people to be loyal to me
5- to be loving and benevolent: I'm not always super fuzzy, but I do really like to help people out, pick the perfect gift, feel useful, that stuff. Also, I can be very romantic.
13. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious: Yeah, I have a tendency to simplify my needs, and I just don't want to create conflict in general and make a fuss.
Rejection, being needy, and not being loved: Yup. I just want to fit in(friend wise), plus, like in the last question, I just try not to be needy.
Weak and not being on top of things: Eh, don't really want to be weak, but I've never really cared about that much
Failure: Definitely. Burnout gifted kid much? Yeah, I beat myself up for failing a lot and not living up to my potential
Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost: I definitely feel that way a lot. It has played a prominent role, feeling lost in life, like some sort of lost puppy dog who can't fend for themselves. Plus there's the avoiding negative feelings.
Entanglements and losing what I have: Definitely. I try to avoid conflict and I can admittedly be clingy, whether that's in relationships or moving/homesickness
Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough: Yeah. It probably sounds kinda corny, but I have felt that way a lot, like I'm different from others, like I'm some sort of movie character.
Boredom, grunt work, and being exposed as a charlatan: Pretty afraid. I'm no party animal, but ruts and routine are very depressing. I really do like trying new things, the novel. Variety is the spice of life!
A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized: Haha, yup, I'm a very anxious person
I hope this is enough! Definitely ask more questions.
