Truth or compassion?

[Virtual ghost]

Truth or compassion?


What are you more likely to say to other person if those two are opposite of each other in some situation?
What do you want to hear from others in a hard times?


I know that question is very general, so people can put it in a context they feel it is right for them, but idea is not to talk just about touchy/feely things here. The idea is to talk about differences of truth/feels good in general.


I don't have any big dilemmas I am just curious since I am totally on the "truth side" of the spectrum.(and people have problem with it)

Probably T/F will play a role in this thrad.

 

[Night]

When offering sympathy, I prefer an inclusive approach.

For me, these qualities are abstract interchangeables. Neither is harmonious unto itself. Without compassion, we risk rendering our target obstinate. Without truth, our party could mistake our warmth as misguided encumbrance.

What this generally means is that I'll work to cobble forth a best-fitting expression of what I consider to be a truthful rendition of the event, while gently knitting my vernacular as a means to weaken the impact of the adverse news.

I find this marriage makes delivery less painful for both of us.

 

[Lady_X]

i try to offer compassionate non judgmental truth if i can...if i'm trying not to hurt someones feelings...otherwise just straight up blunt cuz you need to hear it truth.

 

[Colors]

Depends on your goal.

Maybe "compassion" is the wrong word, as I often find it more compassionate to be bluntly truthful over long-term situations. I can't honestly say this "finding" isn't based on its extreme convenience for me. I'd much rather have a huge blow-out in the present and move on rather than consider and reconsider what to say and not to say and what to feel bad about and not feel bad about throughout the future.

It's not really a dichotomy. Truth is truth. But not saying anything isn't lying. Compassion can be truth. It can be untruth.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Depends on your goal.


It's not really a dichotomy. Truth is truth. But not saying anything isn't lying. Compassion can be truth. It can be untruth.

1.Exactly

2.I was thinking about puting that in the OP but that would be too limiting for the thread.




I have repaired OP in grammatical sense so now it probably make more sense

 

[Salomé]

Truth is compassion.

 

[ajblaise]

My natural inclination is to tell someone the truth/or exactly what's on my mind.

But I also know the virtues of compassion. If I know what the truth is or what's on my mind will be taken in a very negative way, I will try to deliver it in a very palatable and comfortable way sometimes... because I'm not a sociopath.

And this method sometimes works. You'd be surprised about what you can get away with saying if you say it in the right way.

 

[Anja]

As the family truth-speaker I have often been in the unfortunate spot of the messenger facing a beheading.

But I can't stop speaking my truth!

"Truth is compassion." says Blue. Natural truth is "red in tooth and claw." Human truth is tentative and hopeful.

 

[Virtual ghost]

You'd be surprised about what you can get away with saying if you say it in the right way.

No, I won't be since I know for the trick. It is just that my default state is not that I am like that. But with time I have managed to get more skill in this.

Timing is everything.

 

[Lady_X]

My natural inclination is to tell someone the truth/or exactly what's on my mind.

But I also know the virtues of compassion. If I know what the truth is or what's on my mind will be taken in a very negative way, I will try to deliver it in a very palatable and comfortable way sometimes... because I'm not a sociopath.

And this method sometimes works. You'd be surprised about what you can get away with saying if you say it in the right way.

so true...it really is all in how you say it.

 

[disregard]

Compassion.

People have a way of going deaf when you tell them what you believe to be truths pertaining to their situation.

Can't go wrong comforting someone and letting them learn their lessons first-hand. That's how I had to learn mine.

edit: wait.. are we talking about things like cheating and whatnot? where their situation is also your situation?

Then, truth.

 

[Virtual ghost]

so true...it really is all in how you say it.

What would you rather hear.

TAKE YOUR PANTIES DOWN, NOW!!!!

or

Come on, it isn't that there will be a permanent damage.You have yellow panties? OH MAN, I am going to enjoy this!



This is just a argument

 

[ajblaise]

What would you rather hear.

TAKE YOUR PANTIES DOWN, NOW!!!!

or

Come on, it isn't that there will be a permanent damage.You have yellow panties? OH MAN, I am going to enjoy this!



This is just a argument

I'm not sure which example is suppose to be the smoother one..

 

[Synarch]

The truth told with compassion.

 

[Lady_X]

What would you rather hear.

TAKE YOUR PANTIES DOWN, NOW!!!!

or

Come on, it isn't that there will be a permanent damage.You have yellow panties? OH MAN, I am going to enjoy this!



This is just a argument

basically...you could say either one in a sweet sexy way or a horribly offensive way...you just gotta know how to do it

 

[Martoon]

Honestly, what do I actually end up saying in a situation like this?

Usually, nothing.

Umm, thereby ensuring that they get neither.

*sigh* Yeah, I suck at this. (No, I don't want to talk about my avoidance tendencies right now. Later.)

In my defense, though, I tend to be very nice to them, while avoiding whatever it is.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I'm not sure which example is suppose to be the smoother one..

basically...you could say either one in a sweet sexy way or a horribly offensive way...you just gotta know how to do it

I guess I wasn't clear enough.


Does the word "rape" ring any bells?

 

[Tallulah]

I try to assess if they're really asking for the truth or not. Sometimes people are just asking for some quick affirmation, not a brutally honest assessment of their abilities/looks/etc. If they really want to know my opinion, they'll get it, but I try to be diplomatic.

Sometimes truth is relative anyway. If someone asks you if they look fat, you might think they do, but you also might have some warped perception of what's considered thin.

 

[Lady_X]

I guess I wasn't clear enough.


Does the word "rape" ring any bells?

so you mean you're saying it to someone who wants nothing to do with you?

then uh...no...doesn't matter a bit how you say it...but you knew that.

 

[Anja]

Well yeah. And whether it's any business of mine or not. "Unasked for truth can be a nuisance!" she says, knowing all too well.