True Love (Opinion Question),

[DigitalMethod]

Can true love (healthy love) between two people only be achieved if both people can be truly happy without each other in the first place?

Basically I'm wondering peoples opinions about:
A person can only find true love after they have found a way to be truly happy alone. The type of "truly happy" where you would be content for the rest of your life, the majority of the time.

 

[INTJMom]

Hmm. It's kind of a trick question.
I think there needs to be a healthy balance.
If a person could be truly happy alone, then why would they want a mate?
If they couldn't be truly happy unless they were with someone, are they co-dependent?
I think it's important for a person to be able to be alone... to be able to find happiness and fulfillment without depending on other people for it. But in order to make a marriage work, you have to be committed to sharing your life with someone without smothering, or being smothered.

I heard a line on tv yesterday, and I hadn't realized people still thought this way, but apparently the myth survives that 'one person can make you happy in life'. That's ridiculous. No one can make you happy, ultimately. You are responsible for your own happiness. And certainly, the responsibility shouldn't be laid all on the shoulders of some other person.

Yes, my husband makes me happy, but he's not responsible for my happiness... I am. I make my husband happy, but he has other avenues of happiness, too.

I've heard that women, after they're married should keep a few girlfriends to do stuff with because they can't expect their husbands to fulfill all their needs. Female friends serve a place in my life that my husband can't fill. I'm sure the same is true for the guys, as well. I think a healthy balance is definitely required. I hope I answered the question.

 

[Guest]

I think it's important for a person to be able to be alone... to be able to find happiness and fulfillment without depending on other people for it. But in order to make a marriage work, you have to be committed to sharing your life with someone without smothering, or being smothered."

Digital - I read your entry a couple days ago but wasn't sure how to respond. Mom sums it up beautifully.