LucrativeSid
New member
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2007
- Messages
- 837
The last five years sucked. Not that it was a complete waste, and not that I plan on regretting a single thing about it, but I do want to think about how much it sucked so I can use it as a motivator to make the next five years awesome for a change.
5 years! Same apartment. Same job. No major life changes. No exciting progress. How pathetic.
Sure, I've done things. I've lived. I've succeeded and failed at a lot of things. I've consumed a ton of knowledge. I've had a lot of time think. I've experienced great pain and great joy. I've had a few epiphanies and grown older and wiser. I've experienced extremes of intimacy and solitude. And much more, really.
Yet, it still sucked compared to what it could have been. I can see this in two different ways.
1: I think the majority of the days were actually spent doing nothing at all. I wasn't doing anything fun or exhilarating, or productive and worthwhile. So, even though I a lot of noteworthy things did happen in a five year span, all of those things probably took place in only 5% of the days. Maybe less. The rest of the time, I'd just go to work, come home, take a nap, read, surf the web, watch tv, work on some stupid ideas, and go to bed. Yeah, yeah, those normal days weren't a complete waste, but I'm not going to lie to myself, they were way less than they could have been. I don't want to waste 95% of my days anymore. Even wasting 50% of them is bad. Even 10%. They were easy days, and I enjoyed myself, but I've never known what it was like to waste 5 years. Now I do, and I don't like it.
2: Hardly anything is different than it was 5 years ago. I have the same job that I don't even like. I might make 2 or 4 grand more a year, but it's not like that makes me feel rich. It's not like I have any more savings than I did back then. I'm actually driving a car that's older and that I like less. I'm in the same apartment. If I don't have more money, the same job, the same apartment, and I still live by myself, then what's changed that actually mattered? All of this was supposed to be a temporary stepping stone to bigger and better things.
Ages 25-30 are going to have to be a lot better than 20-25. I don't want the rest of my life to be a pathetic waste like the last five years.
5 years! Same apartment. Same job. No major life changes. No exciting progress. How pathetic.
Sure, I've done things. I've lived. I've succeeded and failed at a lot of things. I've consumed a ton of knowledge. I've had a lot of time think. I've experienced great pain and great joy. I've had a few epiphanies and grown older and wiser. I've experienced extremes of intimacy and solitude. And much more, really.
Yet, it still sucked compared to what it could have been. I can see this in two different ways.
1: I think the majority of the days were actually spent doing nothing at all. I wasn't doing anything fun or exhilarating, or productive and worthwhile. So, even though I a lot of noteworthy things did happen in a five year span, all of those things probably took place in only 5% of the days. Maybe less. The rest of the time, I'd just go to work, come home, take a nap, read, surf the web, watch tv, work on some stupid ideas, and go to bed. Yeah, yeah, those normal days weren't a complete waste, but I'm not going to lie to myself, they were way less than they could have been. I don't want to waste 95% of my days anymore. Even wasting 50% of them is bad. Even 10%. They were easy days, and I enjoyed myself, but I've never known what it was like to waste 5 years. Now I do, and I don't like it.
2: Hardly anything is different than it was 5 years ago. I have the same job that I don't even like. I might make 2 or 4 grand more a year, but it's not like that makes me feel rich. It's not like I have any more savings than I did back then. I'm actually driving a car that's older and that I like less. I'm in the same apartment. If I don't have more money, the same job, the same apartment, and I still live by myself, then what's changed that actually mattered? All of this was supposed to be a temporary stepping stone to bigger and better things.
Ages 25-30 are going to have to be a lot better than 20-25. I don't want the rest of my life to be a pathetic waste like the last five years.
