SilkRoad
Lay the coin on my tongue
- Joined
- May 26, 2009
- Messages
- 3,932
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 6w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
I can totally relate. Honestly my ability to forgive is purely based on the sincerity of the other party's apology. In the few altercations I've experienced (all of them I confronted because the other person was a user and/or lied for self-centered reasons) I have yet to get an apology. And in those few cases, that's what ate me up for months after we stopped talking. The lack of growth and change needed for proper closure. That all this anger happened for naught.
My position has always been that it's silly to forgive a person who doesn't believe they need to be forgiven for anything. I have a few situations, like with my father after my folks got divorced, where my pity overrides my rage over that person not taking responsibility. I guess in the end the NF compassion can override everything.
I relate to the above, and I also think that sometimes pity is the best road to go down. You may know you're not really going to be friends with them again and that's for the best. But if you can feel pity for them, because you know that their hurtful patterns of behaviour will affect their lives again and again and may poison their relationships with others many times...it can help some of the anger and hurt to go away, it's just a healthier feeling.