Anja
New member
- Joined
- May 2, 2008
- Messages
- 2,967
- MBTI Type
- INFP
Thanks for picking up the point of my post, ygolo.
Someone else already addressed it, but as I read, I noticed the comment you made that you tend to overdo and I was going to say that's probably the key to your discouragement.
I'm an overdoer also. Here's the hope: Age will probably knock that right out of you! Heh.
Spouse just came in and said, "I think I'll go down and see my mom. I don't want to but I feel obligated."
I laughed. Just what we're talking about. And I responded to him that, at least weekly, I do something I dont want to do but know that I will feel better about myself if I do it. It's a good habit, I think.
One more thing. I've been told that it takes thirty days to build a habit. If this is true, that seems a small period of time to change a behavior. Then I suppose reinforcement every couple of days would be necessary. New habits have a way of slipping away.
I am a born and bred pessimist and in my Thirties I decided I wanted a more positive outlook. In discussing this with a girlfriend we decided, together, to teach ourselves to think in a more positive manner and we did something extreme, I think.
We pledged to each other that, for a year, we would state something positive each time we encountered each other and we would remind each other of any negative speech.
At first it was funny and felt awkward, stilted. But at the end of a year we were both surprised to discover that we had become in the habit of thinking and speaking in a positive direction.
It was no real hard work - kind of fun - and had results which have lasted me since.
Someone else already addressed it, but as I read, I noticed the comment you made that you tend to overdo and I was going to say that's probably the key to your discouragement.
I'm an overdoer also. Here's the hope: Age will probably knock that right out of you! Heh.
Spouse just came in and said, "I think I'll go down and see my mom. I don't want to but I feel obligated."
I laughed. Just what we're talking about. And I responded to him that, at least weekly, I do something I dont want to do but know that I will feel better about myself if I do it. It's a good habit, I think.
One more thing. I've been told that it takes thirty days to build a habit. If this is true, that seems a small period of time to change a behavior. Then I suppose reinforcement every couple of days would be necessary. New habits have a way of slipping away.
I am a born and bred pessimist and in my Thirties I decided I wanted a more positive outlook. In discussing this with a girlfriend we decided, together, to teach ourselves to think in a more positive manner and we did something extreme, I think.
We pledged to each other that, for a year, we would state something positive each time we encountered each other and we would remind each other of any negative speech.
At first it was funny and felt awkward, stilted. But at the end of a year we were both surprised to discover that we had become in the habit of thinking and speaking in a positive direction.
It was no real hard work - kind of fun - and had results which have lasted me since.