• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

So I'm turning 50 tomorrow.

INTJMom

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
I must be such an MBTT nerd because one of the things I'm MOST excited about is my Se finally kicking in! :cheese: I think that means I'm going to be generally more observant, right? Hmm... What else...

"Extraverted Sensing occurs when we become aware of what is in the physical world in rich detail. We may be drawn to act on what we experience to get an immediate result. We notice relevant facts and occurrences in a sea of data and experiences, learning all the facts we can about the immediate context or area of focus and what goes on in that context. An active seeking of more and more input to get the whole picture may occur until all sources of input have been exhausted or something else captures our attention. Extraverted Sensing is operating when we freely follow exciting physical impulses or instincts as they come up and enjoy the thrill of action in the present moment. A oneness with the physical world and a total absorption may exist as we move, touch, and sense what is around us. The process involves instantly reading cues to see how far we can go in a situation and still get the impact we want or respond to the situation with presence."
http://www.cognitiveprocesses.com/extravertedsensing.html

Oh good. That explains why I have been noticing the mess in the house more! :cry: Great. Well, at least my husband will be happier when the house gets cleaned more frequently.


My husband is horrible at keeping secrets. I told him I was going to dye my hair before my birthday. So he asks me, "How soon after you dye your hair can you get it wet again or take a shower?" I answered, "Right away." Now if he had left it at that, I probably wouldn't have suspected a thing. But No... he asks, "Well, how long do you have to wait before going in the ocean or a pool?" Ok. Stupid question that has nothing to do with the here and now... therefore I now know he has booked a night in a hotel with a pool. Which is great! I LOVE it! I don't tell him I know... well I did later. But I don't know where, so that's still a surprise. However it's also a little anti-climactic since we've talked about going to a hotel with a pool for my birthday for the last three years. If I recall correctly, 3 years ago, that's all I got for my birthday... a TALK about going to a hotel. But anyway... *lets bygones be bygones*


So then... why he talks about secret stuff when I'm in the SAME ROOM I really don't know. Maybe they DO think I'm stupid? What I've gathered so far is that it appears our children are NOT going with us to said hotel. If it ends up just being the two of us, I am going to be disappointed. Of course, I can't TELL him I'm disappointed because then he whines and complains and has a pity party about how he can never do anything right and about how I am so hard to please. But my husband, bless his heart, has not been very enjoyable to be around for the last 15 years. It was about then that I lost any desire to be alone with him for long. He is angry, frustrated, critical and complaining almost constantly. He is rough and insensitive... definitely not the happy-go-lucky guy I married. Though the last 3 -4 years have seen improvement, I guess I still have a hard time trusting him with my thoughts and feelings because his first response is always gruff. Anyway, the last thing I want is to be alone with my husband on my birthday. There will be planty of time for that when the kids are too busy for us.

I did ask for a lobster dinner - that reminds me, I'm gonna order them ahead of time - and my mom gave me $200 so I can buy some 2 pound lobsters for me and my husband and my kids. We're having those Saturday night. Okay... just ordered the lobsters. Yum!! :wubbie: A jumbo lobster - between 2 and 3 pounds is $10/lb in Maine in January! Can you believe it?! Two months ago, lobster was selling so poorly it was down to $4/lb. for the one pounders. I did my part in helping out the lobstermen during that time. :smile:

Anyway, I'm going to try to have a good attitude if I am stuck with my husband tonight. Maybe he will be nice on purpose, and it will be fun.
 

INTJMom

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Thinking about it, our 25th Anniversary was nice, and that was just the two of us for 2 days, so I guess it could work out okay.
 
G

Guest

Guest
Wow! The big five-o. Happy birthday! :)

Although I certainly wasn't married as long as you have, I actually have regrets about not being more open to those moments when my husband was trying. The last year of our marriage, he had made so much improvement, but I had already hardened my heart against him.

In one of my marriage books, the author suggests 'acting'; if you act excited, you may actually be excited, and if you aren't, at least you are giving your husband the satisfaction of thinking you are (which can catalyze change in his attitude/behavior).

Just my thoughts. With your comment about your 25th anniversary, sounds like you already are opening up.

And I do hope he's taking you to a pool -- I wouldn't think the Atlantic ocean would be too fun this time of year. :)

Happy Birthday!

P.S. Don't dye your hair! I love the silver!
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!
 

INTJMom

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Hey! :hi: Thank you both for the birthday greeting!
I'm having a wonderful time actually!
I've only had 3 hours of sleep so far though. :newwink:

We're still at the hotel. My husband headed back to the hot tub. I'm going to go take a nap before he takes me on a shopping spree! :static:

So it turns out the reason he didn't plan a big party is because we have discussed this before and he knows I hate big parties, and secondly because he was trying to protect me from having to spend my birthday with my relatives! See! Chivalry is not dead!

Later today we pick up some two-pound lobsters and have a seafood feast at home with our kids.

More later.

Nap time...
 

MacGuffin

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
10,710
MBTI Type
xkcd
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Happy birthday!
 

INTJMom

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Aw, man! I never did get that nap! I mean I did lay down, but I didn't fall asleep. Definitely going to bed early tonight; I'm exhausted!

I have to say that I had a wonderful time alone with my husband and I really didn't miss the kids at all. We had some laughs and some conversation.

There was some priceless MBTI stuff. :smile: We were sitting in the hot tub and I asked him what he was thinking about... of course, I could kinda tell because he was looking around the room. He says, "I wonder why they structured this room this way." For the next hour, my ISTP husband is trying to figure out the logic of why they built the pool room that way. Needless to say when I told him for the first time in my life I was afraid of growing old, he had an S response that had no significance to what I had just said. Ah well. We never have been mind-mates.

The hotel he chose was the one where we spent our wedding night 26.5 years ago. I've always liked that place, and they just renovated it last year.

He had made reservations for dinner last night at Bugaboo Creek. I sat with my back 5 feet from a nice warm fire in the fireplace and it was the first time I haven't been cold in a restaurant in ages. Our waiter, Nigel, was from somewhere 30 miles south of London, England, and he spoke so quickly that we didn't understand most of what he said. I tried to be friendly and ask him to slow down so we could understand but it didn't work out. I did hear him call me "Luvie" when we were leaving, though. :)

We decided to watch a movie in our room. My husband let me pick Nights in Rodanthe with Richard Gere and Diane Lane. Now that I see the imdb rating of 5.6 stars out of 10, I can say I agree, but hey, I liked it for the most part.

(The first movie we chose was My Best Friend's Girl which was Not Rated, which I innocently misunderstood the meaning of. After 5 minutes, and a call to the front desk, they refunded our money on it.)

For the shopping spree, I bought some fun and colorful dangly earrings, and I will also be getting a new digital camera, but not before some checking of reviews.

I was right. My husband did make a special effort to be nice and in a good mood while we were away.

The seafood feast with my kids was great.

It was nice to receive so many birthday wishes from people here at typology. My email inbox and facebook had quite a few well-wishes, too. It made me feel loved. :wubbie:
 

INTJMom

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
I can't believe I forgot to tell you the best part! I guess dyeing my hair was a good idea after all! :newwink:

I got carded at the grocery store today!! :smile:

My husband wanted me to buy him some Smirnoff Ice and the checkout gal, who looked to be in her late 20's asked me for my driver's license to prove I was over 21!! I burst out laughing! :smile:
 
Last edited:

INTJMom

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Another thing I forgot to mention...
My boss had flowers sent to the office on Friday... tulips and carnations.
That was really sweet of her. And she mailed me a card, too.

The sentiment inside the card read:

Turning fifty means
appreciating just how far you've traveled,
yet realizing the best of the best is yet to come...
it means wrapping yourself in happiness
and celebrating every minute of being fifty
as if it were the best time of your life~
because it truly is.
 

INTJMom

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
This all takes on an entirely different meaning now.
 
Top