[NT] Romantic Love = Mental Problem?

[TheLastMohican]

Isn't love one of the mysteries of the universe?

To me it is.

 

[Seanan]

Judous... I've tried twice clicking quote on your post and something is wrong... it just won't take.

Anyway, what you describe are logical decisions about it perhaps but not logical proof it exists.

Edit: just so you know, I reported the inability to reply to you via quote to admin.. there's some kind of problem they need to look into.

 

[Judous]

That's wierd that you can't quote me.

Anyway, what you describe are logical decisions about it perhaps but not logical proof it exists.

You are correct

I chose my words poorly in the first sentance. What I was trying to say is that love should be approached and handled rationally.

As you can tell I am not very good at expressing myeself with words

 

[TheLastMohican]

I am learning a lot here. I am getting a fairly good understanding of other people's rationale on this topic. So thank you all for the input.

But of course I am not finished demanding that you pour out your souls for my inspection.

So if you please:
Wandering said that you must make a choice whether to "let love in" or not, and that statistics and logic cannot guide you in that choice. It is a fork in the road, with no seeing what lies ahead.
(Scary thought indeed for my type.)

To those who have already made that choice, do you regret your decision? Do you have any idea what would have happened if you had chosen the other choice?

 

[Seanan]

To those who have already made that choice, do you regret your decision? Do you have any idea what would have happened if you had chosen the other choice?

Using all the logic I could muster, ultimately, it required a leap of faith... that was 20 years ago and I've never regreted it. Do we fight? Sure. Have there been some tears? Sure.

If I had chosen differently... can't say... I might be with someone else but, from today's perspective, I would have missed out on walking down life's path with someone I respect more than anyone I've known... one I always feel safe and secure with. One who knows me better than I know myself whom I can always count on when the going gets tough. One I always want to "be there" for. And one who has healed my soul and helped me to grow into what was unimaginable to me 20 years ago... and its a good thing.

 

[heart]

To those who have already made that choice, do you regret your decision? Do you have any idea what would have happened if you had chosen the other choice?

"...well the Illinois Central and the Southern Central Freight
you got to keep on pushing mamma, you know they're running late..."

 

[cafe]

Despite the fact the 11 year old boy on the computer next to mine saying "Mooo! I'm a goose!" and "Tweet tweet! I'm a pig!" that was spawned from my romantic leap of faith, I don't regret it one bit. I wish I had more than one lifetime to be with my husband although I would not want to do the dirt poor early years again, if it could be helped.

 

[Apollonian]

“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

 

[Veneti]

Brain scans have shown that the brain activity patterns of those who are in love are strikingly similar to the patterns of schizophrenics.
It is also widely known that those who are in love have a much greater tendency to do irrational things. Reason tends to fall by the wayside.

Knowing this, oughtn't we avoid it like the plague (or more accurately, like mind-altering drugs)?

I've always said that "Love" has evolved due to the need for couples to stay together to ensure the offspring of their "love" survive.

For people that don't think like me, think of it this way, traits and attributes have evolved due the reproductive fitness of the parents and survival rates of their offspring. Those parents that stay together would have tended to have high survival rates of their children. Hence, perhaps love is a chemical imbalance, but it’s a positive factor helping survival rates of offspring.

I think there's a good correlation between the propensity to "love" and the ability to suffer "depression", depression helps people to stay in close groups and love/depression helps offspring survive.

All pretty logical.

 

[typo]

I've always said that "Love" has evolved due to the need for couples to stay together to ensure the offspring of their "love" survive.

I think there's a good correlation between the propensity to "love" and the ability to suffer "depression", depression helps people to stay in close groups and love/depression helps offspring survive.

All pretty logical.

This explanation is ad hoc and self-reinforcing (i.e. circular). The same argument favoring fitness could be applied to any human activity, since so far as people continue to exist any activity could be viewed as favoring "survival."

For all we know, children may be surviving in spite of their parents falling in (and out) of love; not because of it. Sexual attraction and lust clearly aid conception, but that is not what most people consider to be love. The more modern version of love, as a life-long committed relationship, is new in terms of human history, and in my view it remains an interesting (and open) question whether atempts at this kind of love benefit long term survival.

For similar reasons, I also cannot agree with your reasoning that love benefits survival specifically through the depression it might cause. Scientifically, the causes of depression are still mysterious, but there is a general sense that an increasing focus on economic specialization and job mobility, which put greater emphasis on oneself for survival through anonymous exchange (rather than personal relationships) may be increasing depression rates which is almost the direct opposite of "love" causing depression. I say this only to emphasize how trying to explain these kinds of phenomena can become circular and ad hoc.

However, even if we knew that love was the single definitive cause of depression, it still would not be a satisfactory explanation for love itself. Since evolution tends to occur over long periods, we should be cautious about trying to explain any phenomenon (such as love) with still more recent phenomena (depression).

 

[Lindaxo]

I didn't read the whole thing but I read some of the ENFP's posts and maybe I am insane but I feel like I am in love with everything 24/7. The first time I took the test about a year ago I came out as an ENFP. Then I took it again, after going through a lot of things, and having a different attitude towards life, and I tested ENTJ, consecutivly. But I have been noticing that I am feeling like my old self again and I thought I had changed back to an ENFP. I took the test and it resulted in ENFP. Now its like instead of noticing patterns of everything and translating them with numbers, I feel the volume of things and I percieve it with my emotions. Something I always 'suffocated' as an ENTJ. Does this make sense to anyone?? I hope I'm not mental!