• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

rewire brain for positive thinking

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

Guardian of Ga'Hoole
Joined
Jul 24, 2008
Messages
16,491
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
So your philosophy is - why bother? No reason to even think about being the change you want to see. Cool.

Well, yes, the most important thing is that you feel bad. Feeling bad is the mark of the righteous. It doesn't matter if you actually do things to try and make it better, as long as you feel appropriately bad.

In my experience it is easier to be altruistic if you feel good. For one thing if you feel shitty, that means it is easier for your ego to get wrapped up in your attempts to do good. If you otherwise feel good, it is easier to leave your ego at the door and not just make it about you.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,130
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
There’s a lot of science behind the gratitude thing. But also, you’ve got to be realistic.

I like this model of gratitude (which I haven’t used myself but have been considering): The Opposite of Toxic Positivity
 

Frosty

Poking the poodle
Joined
Apr 6, 2015
Messages
12,353
Instinctual Variant
sp
I think this could be helpful if your brain is already somewhat regulated. If you have a clear mental disorder that needs to be stabilized first and throwing out “just be grateful” can be demoralizing and dismissive
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,155
MBTI Type
yupp
I think this could be helpful if your brain is already somewhat regulated. If you have a clear mental disorder that needs to be stabilized first and throwing out “just be grateful” can be demoralizing and dismissive

i look at pain like this, yes some people can handle more, but take little kids a scrape on the knee is terrible to them, because it's the worse pain they over felt, but as they get older they'll feel more pain and learn how not to cry when they feel either physical or emotional pain, over time a scrape on a knee isn't so bad. and you might've felt way more pain than them in your life but their pain is still valid and you shouldn't ignore pain because someone's pain is worse than yours.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,130
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I think this could be helpful if your brain is already somewhat regulated. If you have a clear mental disorder that needs to be stabilized first and throwing out “just be grateful” can be demoralizing and dismissive
Toxic positivity is garbage, "just be grateful" is garbage AND discriminatory (ableist in this context), and you're completely right.

Part of why I like the model in that link I shared earlier (not to be the "don't make me tap the sign" person) is that it really emphasizes gratitude as 1. a practice, not a bullshit life philosophy, and 2. something you do alongside of accepting - and often grieving - what's going on around you.

In general, even though I'm not currently doing DBT, I'm a big fan of that model of processing and acknowledging the reality of the contradictions in your life, particularly the emotional ones. And I say this as someone who also has a clear mental disorder and struggles enormously with emotional processing as a result.

AND YET: I would not necessarily call myself "stabilized" yet, which is probably why I'm over here soapboxing in favor of something that I don't even do.

(This has been: EJCC holding multiple truths at once??)
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,155
MBTI Type
yupp
Toxic positivity is garbage, "just be grateful" is garbage AND discriminatory (ableist in this context), and you're completely right.

Part of why I like the model in that link I shared earlier (not to be the "don't make me tap the sign" person) is that it really emphasizes gratitude as 1. a practice, not a bullshit life philosophy, and 2. something you do alongside of accepting - and often grieving - what's going on around you.

In general, even though I'm not currently doing DBT, I'm a big fan of that model of processing and acknowledging the reality of the contradictions in your life, particularly the emotional ones. And I say this as someone who also has a clear mental disorder and struggles enormously with emotional processing as a result.

AND YET: I would not necessarily call myself "stabilized" yet, which is probably why I'm over here soapboxing in favor of something that I don't even do.

(This has been: EJCC holding multiple truths at once??)

you know i didn't realize how abelist people are until the pandemic and now it's everywhere. probably was before but the pandemic has magnified it
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,130
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
you know i didn't realize how abelist people are until the pandemic and now it's everywhere. probably was before but the pandemic has magnified it
It's definitely encouraged people to say the quiet part out loud, yeah.
 

Indigo Rodent

Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2019
Messages
207
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
1w9
you know i didn't realize how abelist people are until the pandemic and now it's everywhere. probably was before but the pandemic has magnified it
I knew it at least since 2008. Was talking about it a lot at least since 2015.

Toxic positivity is garbage, "just be grateful" is garbage AND discriminatory (ableist in this context), and you're completely right.

Part of why I like the model in that link I shared earlier (not to be the "don't make me tap the sign" person) is that it really emphasizes gratitude as 1. a practice, not a bullshit life philosophy, and 2. something you do alongside of accepting - and often grieving - what's going on around you.

In general, even though I'm not currently doing DBT, I'm a big fan of that model of processing and acknowledging the reality of the contradictions in your life, particularly the emotional ones. And I say this as someone who also has a clear mental disorder and struggles enormously with emotional processing as a result.

AND YET: I would not necessarily call myself "stabilized" yet, which is probably why I'm over here soapboxing in favor of something that I don't even do.

(This has been: EJCC holding multiple truths at once??)
I would also add just judging some things as good/appreciation. I generally don't feel comfortable with the concept of gratitude because it reminds me of how fragile and conditional everything is.
Like remembering to judge good things as good.
 
Top