Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts Questions on figuring out my Instinctual Variants

[guesswho]

Hey... Sx/So is this: It just screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaams of it

 

[Southern Kross]

hmm... this sounds like me as well. i'm thinking i may be some combination of sp/so or so/sp and not an sx after all.

I relate to it too but maybe not with same strength of feeling. Perhaps it is a sp thing and its just that being sp/sx merely heightens the 4w5 push/pull effect.

I have met sx doms that have said in not so many words that they think I'm being phony with them and keep prodding me to say "what I really think". This I find rather bewildering because I'm so used to avoiding intimacy or speaking too much from the heart, it has become second nature and I don't even know when I'm doing it (ie. while playing the so game). Basically, I've convinced myself that what I was telling them was, "what I really thought." I must say these sx people scare the hell out of me; they leave me feeling off balance, as if I'm being found out

 

[Sunny Ghost]

I relate to it too but maybe not with same strength of feeling. Perhaps it is a sp thing and its just that being sp/sx merely heightens the 4w5 push/pull effect.

I have met sx doms that have said in not so many words that they think I'm being phony with them and keep prodding me to say "what I really think". This I find rather bewildering because I'm so used to avoiding intimacy or speaking too much from the heart, it has become second nature and I don't even know when I'm doing it (ie. while playing the so game). Basically, I've convinced myself that what I was telling them was, "what I really thought." I must say these sx people scare the hell out of me; they leave me feeling off balance, as if I'm being found out

mmmk. that description of SX was really helpful. it reminds me of one friend in particular.

i'm thinking so/sp for myself, as the sp desc... according to the ones posted here stand out less, but still resonate, while so resonates with me more.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

I don't know why not knowing bothers me... as it seems as though there is little to gain out of knowing. But it's driving me crazy that I can't figure it out.

I prefer one on one interaction to group interactions... is that SX or being an introvert?
I love to spend time alone and often prefer it to group or one on one interaction... is that SP or introversion/withdrawn nature?
I worry about what others think of me and overanalyze my interactions with others... is that SO or insecurity?
I feel like life is dull when I lack feeling strong emotions... is that SX?
But, my life used to feel like a constant roller coaster ride and through buddhism and other philosophies, I've learned to slow this crazy ride... is that SX or SP?
I used to spend a great amount of time alone and go on adventures by myself and not really think much of the fact that I was alone... is this SP?
Though I play to the crowd, I usually play more towards one in particular... is this SO or SX?
I always feel as though there's one person that stands out to me in a room, and I become incredibly curious... is this SX?
I typically feel pretty confident when I'm on my own, but I want so badly to also hear a lover confirm my confidence, and I hate seeing the things I like or who I am come under scrutiny...
I want so badly to find a soul mate, a one true love, that I hope to not only meet in this life, but knew in a past life, and will find them again in a future life... but then feel torn in wanting my independence at the same time, as I feel as though I lose myself in relationships as well, and want to figure out who I am on my own two feet... but I'm also concerned with how my family perceives me, or how my neighbors may perceive me...
I also used to feel as though I needed someone else to connect with... but as I learned through dream analysis about the anima and animus, I realized I only needed to connect to myself and quit looking outside myself.

Uuuuugh.

 

[brainheart]

I don't know why not knowing bothers me... as it seems as though there is little to gain out of knowing. But it's driving me crazy that I can't figure it out.

I prefer one on one interaction to group interactions... is that SX or being an introvert?
I love to spend time alone and often prefer it to group or one on one interaction... is that SP or introversion/withdrawn nature?
I worry about what others think of me and overanalyze my interactions with others... is that SO or insecurity?
I feel like life is dull when I lack feeling strong emotions... is that SX?
But, my life used to feel like a constant roller coaster ride and through buddhism and other philosophies, I've learned to slow this crazy ride... is that SX or SP?
I used to spend a great amount of time alone and go on adventures by myself and not really think much of the fact that I was alone... is this SP?
Though I play to the crowd, I usually play more towards one in particular... is this SO or SX?
I always feel as though there's one person that stands out to me in a room, and I become incredibly curious... is this SX?
I typically feel pretty confident when I'm on my own, but I want so badly to also hear a lover confirm my confidence, and I hate seeing the things I like or who I am come under scrutiny...
I want so badly to find a soul mate, a one true love, that I hope to not only meet in this life, but knew in a past life, and will find them again in a future life... but then feel torn in wanting my independence at the same time, as I feel as though I lose myself in relationships as well, and want to figure out who I am on my own two feet... but I'm also concerned with how my family perceives me, or how my neighbors may perceive me...
I also used to feel as though I needed someone else to connect with... but as I learned through dream analysis about the anima and animus, I realized I only needed to connect to myself and quit looking outside myself.

Uuuuugh.

Yes.

 

[Goosebump]

I don't know why not knowing bothers me... as it seems as though there is little to gain out of knowing. But it's driving me crazy that I can't figure it out.

I prefer one on one interaction to group interactions... is that SX or being an introvert?
I love to spend time alone and often prefer it to group or one on one interaction... is that SP or introversion/withdrawn nature?
I worry about what others think of me and overanalyze my interactions with others... is that SO or insecurity?
I feel like life is dull when I lack feeling strong emotions... is that SX?
But, my life used to feel like a constant roller coaster ride and through buddhism and other philosophies, I've learned to slow this crazy ride... is that SX or SP?
I used to spend a great amount of time alone and go on adventures by myself and not really think much of the fact that I was alone... is this SP?
Though I play to the crowd, I usually play more towards one in particular... is this SO or SX?
I always feel as though there's one person that stands out to me in a room, and I become incredibly curious... is this SX?
I typically feel pretty confident when I'm on my own, but I want so badly to also hear a lover confirm my confidence, and I hate seeing the things I like or who I am come under scrutiny...
I want so badly to find a soul mate, a one true love, that I hope to not only meet in this life, but knew in a past life, and will find them again in a future life... but then feel torn in wanting my independence at the same time, as I feel as though I lose myself in relationships as well, and want to figure out who I am on my own two feet... but I'm also concerned with how my family perceives me, or how my neighbors may perceive me...
I also used to feel as though I needed someone else to connect with... but as I learned through dream analysis about the anima and animus, I realized I only needed to connect to myself and quit looking outside myself.

Uuuuugh.

I relate to the bolded parts. I wasn't sure about my own instinctual variants as well and settled on sp/sx. But I'm not so sure now either. :/ I seek for close connections, but I'm guarded to most people I know. There are few people in my life that I can really talk about things that matter to me.

 

[brainheart]

Hey... Sx/So is this: It just screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaams of it

wow, that's annoying.

 

[chickpea]

judging by what i've read, you seem sp/so or possibly so/sp.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

Thinking on this more... I think I am more SO/SP than SX of any variety.

It hit me while I was on the phone calling several realtors (as I'm in the process of trying to move.) I give off a very Fe type vibe, of wanting to come off as socially pleasing, mature, charming... basically catering to my audience. I want a house, I want the landlord or realtor to approve of me and want me to move in, and I do what I need to do. I realized this contrasted with some people... were it my roommate making these calls... I could see him being this gigantic goofball, and not really caring a whole lot about his image in the realtors eyes.

I blame my mother for making me an SO... but it makes sense as to why I give off Fe-ness, though Fi-dom. My mom is an ISFP, though for a long time, I was sure ISFJ. The culture she grew up in was a very heavily Fe-dom/SO type of culture, and I'm sure those behaviors were instilled in her even more so than the amount of Fe/SO behavior she instilled in me. "Be nice." "Say thank you." "Make sure to be friendly and say hello." "I know you don't like him, but don't be mean, be courteous, ok." "Make sure you're friendly when you call." "Smile!"

Also, I'm terrified of actually letting others into my world. I like connecting with people one on one, but I only allow people so far in. I'm also very driven by my own independence. I find it sweet when people want to help me out here and there, but I have a tendency to reel in guys that just want to baby me, and I detest that. I've had boyfriends offer to buy me new tires, or even new cars... guys that want to chauffeur me around, or just give me money when I'm hurt for it and tell me not to worry about paying them back... but this actually drives me crazy. I hate it, because it's easy and makes me dependent upon someone else. I push away very hard from people like this. I have a strong draw towards reliance on myself, and experiencing the world as my own personal journey.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

In regards to the Fe and SO instinct... it's funny when you contrast that with my sister. I'm Fi/Se, she's Fe/Si... yet she's the one that will often give off the "F*** off" vibe, if she so feels like it. I wonder what her instincts are, now... ?? Interesting....

 

[brainheart]

IAJ-

The need to be self-reliant is very much a 5 wing thing, too. I don't know how you determine the difference between the pull of your wing and the pull of your variants. What makes me think I don't have SP in the top two has less to do with the fact of feeling the need to be an individual, do my own thing (cause that is a HUGE pull for me) and more to do with the fact that I am inconsistent in my desires and tend toward the impractical side of things (but being impractical is also a 5 trait).

I am less of a social pleaser than you, it seems, but I think socionics type SEI is more like that, anyway. I also believe in being polite, but if I disagree with someone, my tendency is to speak my mind vs not. I know social isn't my dominant because being spurned by an individual who matters to me destroys me far more than disapproval of the group. I am not a team player in any way, I always need to assert my individuality (but that's also a 4 thing).

 

[demimondaine]

I don't know why not knowing bothers me... as it seems as though there is little to gain out of knowing. But it's driving me crazy that I can't figure it out.

I prefer one on one interaction to group interactions... is that SX or being an introvert?
I love to spend time alone and often prefer it to group or one on one interaction... is that SP or introversion/withdrawn nature?
I worry about what others think of me and overanalyze my interactions with others... is that SO or insecurity?
I feel like life is dull when I lack feeling strong emotions... is that SX?
But, my life used to feel like a constant roller coaster ride and through buddhism and other philosophies, I've learned to slow this crazy ride... is that SX or SP?
I used to spend a great amount of time alone and go on adventures by myself and not really think much of the fact that I was alone... is this SP?
Though I play to the crowd, I usually play more towards one in particular... is this SO or SX?
I always feel as though there's one person that stands out to me in a room, and I become incredibly curious... is this SX?
I typically feel pretty confident when I'm on my own, but I want so badly to also hear a lover confirm my confidence, and I hate seeing the things I like or who I am come under scrutiny...
I want so badly to find a soul mate, a one true love, that I hope to not only meet in this life, but knew in a past life, and will find them again in a future life... but then feel torn in wanting my independence at the same time, as I feel as though I lose myself in relationships as well, and want to figure out who I am on my own two feet... but I'm also concerned with how my family perceives me, or how my neighbors may perceive me...
I also used to feel as though I needed someone else to connect with... but as I learned through dream analysis about the anima and animus, I realized I only needed to connect to myself and quit looking outside myself.

Uuuuugh.

i relate to all of this! having read several of your posts here and elsewhere (this is going back a while, sorry i can't give specifics!), i think i identify with your posts more than with those of any other member!

i'm also working out my instinctual variant. i thought i was sx/sp forever, am now leaning toward sp/sx. i also received Fe training and SO skills from my mother, but i'm pretty sure i'm so-last..

Uuuuugh is right!