Pups and bitches

[colmena]

Today I arose to the tune of Seneca. Thirteen minutes ago, to be precise. My erection was not too profound, so you can assuage your fears of my crushes on dead people extending to Roman philosophers.

I had dreamed about finding a stray dog, whom I took in to care for. Later that evening, her pup, a male, had been spotted outside our home. He appeared to be injured and unconscious. Of course, we took him in too.

And of course, through the often abstract passage of a dream, the young pup had become a boy of perhaps ten or eleven. The child was not physically injured, but mentally distraught. He took out a small knife and held it before me, all the while adorning a mischievous, maniacal grin. I was calm and pleasant, and he put the knife down. Not soon after, and without provocation, the child held the knife before me once more. Again, I was calm and pleasant, and he stabbed me in the leg.

Seneca came to mind, not only as he was the tutor to a maniacal young man, but because of his ideas on how to deal with a temperamental environment. Seneca believed that one could alleviate anger and remain calm by lowering expectation, that it is in our surprise of others not meeting our unfairly high and unrealistic expectations that affect our anger, and that in accepting a lack of control, we will not become frustrated when problems arise.

An exaggerated example of Seneca's theory is in the tempers of the rich, that being rich made you angrier than the poor, "Prosperity fosters bad tempers." Seneca knew of a Roman equestrian named Vedius Pollio. Pollio had a slave who tripped whilst carrying a tray of crystal glasses at a banquet. Pollio ordered for the slave to be sent to his death. Seneca theorised that Vedius Pollio believed in a world where crystal glasses do not get broken. This unrealistically high expectation continues to this day, as Alain de Botton points out that the shouting is louder from the first class airline check-in desk than at economy class. The wealthier you are - the higher your expectation. They believed that their wealth would insulate them from harsh reality... and when expectations fall short, anger ensues.

I believe my dream and subsequent musings are relevant, in that I hope to immerse myself in life's harsh realities in order to gain perspective on ideals; to have a stable rooting for logic; to develop desired traits; and to simply help in the community. But drawing from Seneca's ideas, I awoke thinking of where my expectation should lay and the ramifications of this. Should I awake each day with the psychological preparation for death? Do my vocation interests denote my life needs to be threatened in order to gain something of a spiritual redemption?

I awoke afraid.

 

[proteanmix]

I had dreamed about finding a stray dog, whom I took in to care for. Later that evening, her pup, a male, had been spotted outside our home. He appeared to be injured and unconscious. Of course, we took him in too...

Hey colmena! Welcome to the dimly lit corner in a noisy crowded room. Really great entry.

That was a psychoanalyst's wet dream. So much to interpret!

Seneca believed that one could alleviate anger and remain calm by lowering expectation, that it is in our surprise of others not meeting our unfairly high and unrealistic expectations that affect our anger, and that in accepting a lack of control, we will not become frustrated when problems arise.
...They believed that their wealth would insulate them from harsh reality... and when expectations fall short, anger ensues.

I like the stuff about Seneca especially. When I left for college I went to an expensive private college for my first two years. I got a slice of life I'd never seen before. Not after long whenever I heard 'bitch' I knew people were referring to their mothers. The vagaries of the rich and spoiled.

The airplane example is a pretty good one actually. I distinctly notice a difference in attitudes about customer service in poorer vs. more affluent areas. I actually lament this in poorer areas because businesses and politicians know they can get away with injustices that poorer people will ignore or resign themselves towards because they don't expect to be treated any differently. Talk about dare to dream!

Expectations stem from what people perceive as feasible and possible. If you have an expectation of something you know or have a strong belief that it's possible. Your sense of what's possible comes from how your perceive reality. If in your world people hover over the ground in a orange cloud and you've never experienced or seen it as otherwise then you are reasonable in your expectation for people to hover in orange clouds. Your expectation is based on something "factual" as you know fact to be.

Lowered expectations may stave off disappoint but I think it's necessary to have some basic standards of how one should expect people to behave or treat you. I guess we should ask ourselves is it reasonable to expect XYZ from others. Is this something we'd be willing to do ourselves? But then again what is reasonable to expect? What are the basics?

I believe my dream and subsequent musings are relevant, in that I hope to immerse myself in life's harsh realities in order to gain perspective on ideals; to have a stable rooting for logic; to develop desired traits; and to simply help in the community. But drawing from Seneca's ideas, I awoke thinking of where my expectation should lie and the ramifications of this. Should I awake each day expecting to die? Do my vocation interests denote my life needs to be threatened in order to gain something of a spiritual redemption?

I awoke afraid.

Lolz, go to London and get in a series of knife fights. That should be real enough.

What are your shielding yourself from, why are you shielding yourself, what are you afraid of experiencing? How will removing yourself from that shield benefit you? What if you go from the frying pan and into the fire? Be judicious in how you expose yourself and what you expose yourself to. Total immersion or increments? It requires quite a bit of self knowledge to know what you can expose yourself to and achieve the desired results.

 

[Salomé]

I'm so pleased you've started a blog!
This was very interesting.
I've read Seneca but I've forgotten most of it. Alain de Botton is fab. I wish he was more prolific.

Your life isn't threatened in any real sense, but in order to grow we have to sacrifice the comfort of old habits. That can be traumatic. Trust always involves risk.

How do you plan to implement your goals?

 

[colmena]

Ooh. The quoting's a little awkward here. This may be a little hit and miss.

Hey colmena! Welcome to the dimly lit corner in a noisy crowded room. Really great entry.

That was a psychoanalyst's wet dream. So much to interpret!

Hey, proteanmix! So this is where you are! Well there's a good reason to blog.

RE. the dream: Just in case it wasn't clear to others (somehow I expect everyone to know what I'm thinking)... I saw the injured dogs as my rose-tinted view of a fractured society. The pup's transformation is belated realisation, and the attack - consequence of inaccurate expectation.

Expectations stem from what people perceive as feasible and possible. If you have an expectation of something you know or have a strong belief that it's possible. Your sense of what's possible comes from how your perceive reality. If in your world people hover over the ground in a orange cloud and you've never experienced or seen it as otherwise then you are reasonable in your expectation for people to hover in orange clouds. Your expectation is based on something "factual" as you know fact to be.

Yes, expectation is often derived from the perceived potential. However, this potential is still often unrealistic. For example: a dentist may expect one's patients to brush their teeth twice a day, as societal suggestion also ingrains. Seneca might suggest, though, that a dentist who is an optimist is likely to have a less satisfying day at work.

Lowered expectations may stave off disappoint but I think it's necessary to have some basic standards of how one should expect people to behave or treat you. I guess we should ask ourselves is it reasonable to expect XYZ from others. Is this something we'd be willing to do ourselves? But then again what is reasonable to expect? What are the basics?

Experience is the enemy of ignorance. It's context related, of course (as I may further explain for my potential personal circumstances), but the onus is on an acknowledgment, acceptance, and then knowledge of reality (goals in last para'). Of course, one with good rationale should also anticipate.

What if you go from the frying pan and into the fire? Be judicious in how you expose yourself and what you expose yourself to. Total immersion or increments? It requires quite a bit of self knowledge to know what you can expose yourself to and achieve the desired results.

This was my understanding on waking up. Spot on inference.

Perhaps you could expound on the 'shielding'.

Your life isn't threatened in any real sense, but in order to grow we have to sacrifice the comfort of old habits. That can be traumatic. Trust always involves risk.

Well by 'harsh reality' I meant that I was interested in working in drug rehabilitation/mental illness and the similar. I suppose that's quite important context for the post.

How do you plan to implement your goals?

Contrary to before Friday morn'; they would be first attained through something of a rough learning curve. Implemented; social work (as perhaps the aforementioned), in order to make use of my own inclined (independently stifled) qualities (using them makes me happy, too).

 

[Salomé]

You wrote that at 05:52 - don't you sleep?

That's great! It's always good to know what you are aiming towards in concrete terms. Do you need to be qualified for that?
I think you have to be very tough to manage in that environment. Re boundaries that we were talking about before: too much empathy can be just as much of a handicap as too little.