[MBTI General] Perfect J/P balance

[FemMecha]

"Over Prepare, then go with the Flow".

That is what I do. It can also mean a lot of different things. One person might have several elaborately detailed contingency plans, someone else might distill the process down to a few core aspects which can be easily reapplied and adapted based on changing circumstances. I tend towards the later of the two. It could also be motivated by the love of designing the perfect plan or by a desire to get the planning aspect out of the way in order to enjoy the flow. Who knows.

 

[IZthe411]

Yes, it sure is. That's what I do all the time. In fact, hell, I like it so much that I'm going to use it for my new quote. Thanks!

HAHA

I had the same reaction to it. I love it!

 

[IZthe411]

"Over Prepare, then go with the Flow".

That is what I do. It can also mean a lot of different things. One person might have several elaborately detailed contingency plans, someone else might distill the process down to a few core aspects which can be easily reapplied and adapted based on changing circumstances. I tend towards the later of the two. It could also be motivated by the love of designing the perfect plan or by a desire to get the planning aspect out of the way in order to enjoy the flow. Who knows.

Yeah you could see it that way too.....like a multipurpose tool/swiss army knife for life. LOL

 

[brainheart]

To be balanced as an individual isn't as pleasant as you might think. Every time I have to make an important decision, I feel a sharp tension, almost like a knife driven into me. I want very much to settle things, and every second only adds to that strain. What I feel tempted to do is ask for more time, but that's just as bad; it makes me feel stupid and robs me of the chance to prepare myself. So I make a decision as soon as possible--maybe within 10 seconds, maybe within a thousand--and then I feel better, but I still keep questioning myself. It isn't the best of both worlds; it's the worst.

Yeah, I have this problem, too, although not as much as I used to. But still, when it comes to things that matter, it tears me apart. I do better mentally with dropping the J and riding the P, probably because that's my natural way to be. What I accomplish in this fashion tends to be more pleasing to me, anyway, probably because it's truer to who I am.

I have no idea how you could over-prepare and then go with the flow and be happy with it. If you are planning things out ahead of time, surely one of your plans will strike you as preferable to something else. So when it doesn't happen you are going to either be let down or irritated. I would think, anyway.

 

[IZthe411]

Yeah, I have this problem, too, although not as much as I used to. But still, when it comes to things that matter, it tears me apart. I do better mentally with dropping the J and riding the P, probably because that's my natural way to be. What I accomplish in this fashion tends to be more pleasing to me, anyway, probably because it's truer to who I am.

I have no idea how you could over-prepare and then go with the flow and be happy with it. If you are planning things out ahead of time, surely one of your plans will strike you as preferable to something else. So when it doesn't happen you are going to either be let down or irritated. I would think, anyway.

If you over prepare, you probably have plans B-Z in addition to A. So if A doesn't work out, yes, you will probably get irritated, but you will go with B. I'd rather be disappointed that A didn't work out and have B ready to go than have noting to go on after I find that A is a bust. That would hurt me more.

 

[brainheart]

So you don't think that people who are perceivers consider options prior to the event? I'd counter that we do, it's just in a very different way. Not so specific, perhaps- we aren't typing out multiple itineraries- but the possibilities exist. Maybe I don't know what you mean by over prepare.

You really seem to be agonizing over this J vs P difference. I think more than anything we P types just don't get too caught up on planning the future because there are too many external variables beyond our control that it's impossible for us to know about before the moment. And then what's going to be our perspective at the time? It will probably be different because we are constantly shifting, changing our mind depending on the circumstance. So why sweat it? Not to mention, it's kind of fun having to figure stuff out at the last moment. Obviously you beg to differ.

I know others agree with you, but I just don't think over preparing and then going with the flow is an option. It seems like a paradox to me. Considering possibilities and then going with the flow, yes. But what's the point of spending all kinds of time and mental energy preparing for something and then tossing those preparations out the window?

You know, you can be the one who prepares a bunch of options in advance. Your girlfriend can say which one she likes. And then you can go along with it. That way you are being your J self and she's being her P self. Is that what you mean? Because that's how my sister and I work. But don't expect her to over prepare and then go with the flow, cause I doubt that will happen.

 

[Little Linguist]

I hate to say this, but often I am unable to BE spontaneous UNLESS I am over-prepared, if you know what I mean.

In fact, I am quite UNCOMFORTABLE if I am NOT prepared. This lack of comfort leads to an inability to form alternatives and gather information quickly enough to spontaneously react to a given situation.

Example: I've just started teaching little kids, which is didactically handled very differently from grades 5-13 and definitely different from dealing with adults.

When I was preparing this class, I was completely flustered because I had no storehouse of information and resources to fall back on. More upsetting, the teacher with whom I work does have these sources, but then is so used to taking everything she knows for granted that she expects me to know what she is talking about.

So when I prepare a class on something - her idea/brainstorming goes WILD - never seen anything like that before. She makes me look like an ISTJ....seriously. Anyway, she's going on one tangent after another, and I'm racing to keep up, saying, "Whoaaa whoaaa whoooaaaaa, what was point D?" and the poor woman is running like a tank on plutonium going at the speed of light and is on point double Z.

At which point I got so overwhelmed that I just exclaimed, "Wow. I'm so unprepared, and I feel so uncomfortable, and so nervous. I cannot do this today."

When I get nervous I SHUT DOWN...my ideas block, and I get extremely anxious and agitated. Without adequate preparation and experience, I just cannot react spontaneously at all.

Luckily, I'm quite expressive about my thoughts and feelings, and rather than just giving up, walking out the door, and thinking, "What a flake," I engage the situation positively, explain what my misgivings are in a constructive way, and we found an adequate solution.

 

[brainheart]

Right, so I will research ahead of time but I'm not going to write out ten lesson plans. And then when the moment arises, I will remember what I read about that relates to the moment and expand on that. That's what I mean by perceivers considering possibilities before hand (at least those who use Ne, anyway. I don't know about Se because I'm just speaking from my pov.) and then acting on them at the moment.

I am not really understanding the point of this thread, I don't think.

 

[IZthe411]

So you don't think that people who are perceivers consider options prior to the event? I'd counter that we do, it's just in a very different way. Not so specific, perhaps- we aren't typing out multiple itineraries- but the possibilities exist. Maybe I don't know what you mean by over prepare.

You really seem to be agonizing over this J vs P difference. I think more than anything we P types just don't get too caught up on planning the future because there are too many external variables beyond our control that it's impossible for us to know about before the moment. And then what's going to be our perspective at the time? It will probably be different because we are constantly shifting, changing our mind depending on the circumstance. So why sweat it? Not to mention, it's kind of fun having to figure stuff out at the last moment. Obviously you beg to differ.

I know others agree with you, but I just don't think over preparing and then going with the flow is an option. It seems like a paradox to me. Considering possibilities and then going with the flow, yes. But what's the point of spending all kinds of time and mental energy preparing for something and then tossing those preparations out the window?

You know, you can be the one who prepares a bunch of options in advance. Your girlfriend can say which one she likes. And then you can go along with it. That way you are being your J self and she's being her P self. Is that what you mean? Because that's how my sister and I work. But don't expect her to over prepare and then go with the flow, cause I doubt that will happen.

I almost choked on my apple- there's nothing FUN in trying to figure stuff out at the last moment! LOL.

I'm not agonizing over it (I don't know much about INFPs, but you probably are as dramatic in speaking as ISFPs- and speaking in extremes kills me). I just find that quote perfect because Js plan plan plan structure structure, where a Ps more go with the flow. Neither are comfortable operating too heavily in the other's realm.

Now I could see a balance in the quote, meaning that there will be times when you should plan well, and then there are other times when it's better to take it as it comes. But the fact that the quote uses 'then', shows that a better balance is to have both of them at your disposal. It's an ideal at best, but it's something to strive for.

Preparation isn't always necessarily expending yourself for naught. Like you, a planner (sensor) is aware of the possibilities, but where it differs from a P is that an S wants to be prepared for whatever comes their way, not wait til it hits and deal with it then.

 

[Little Linguist]

I'm a planner. Definitely. A. Planner.

 

[brainheart]

I almost choked on my apple- there's nothing FUN in trying to figure stuff out at the last moment! LOL.

No, I know that's the case for you. I'm trying to give you the perceiver p.o.v.. I know what you need to do and I have no problem with it. Also, I know you are trying to accommodate for your gf and I commend you for it.

Yeah, I'll speak in extremes, I suppose, but I don't necessarily mean it or feel it all that strongly. A lot of times I'm just playing devil's advocate, just a way of getting another point of view across.

I guess I'm just wondering, literally, what you mean by over prepare. I'm just curious. Like how detailed do you get in your preparations?

 

[Little Linguist]

Trying to figure stuff out at the last second is only fun when you have enough background knowledge stored in your brain that the stress factor makes a million ideas that you already had immediately apparent and available to you. In other words, your experience flows forth like a bursting dam of knowledge that has been stored away for the proper moment.

However, if you are trying to figure out things at the last second and have no beeping clue what you're doing, that's no fun at all.

 

[IZthe411]

No, I know that's the case for you. I'm trying to give you the perceiver p.o.v.. I know what you need to do and I have no problem with it. Also, I know you are trying to accommodate for your gf and I commend you for it.

Yeah, I'll speak in extremes, I suppose, but I don't necessarily mean it or feel it all that strongly. A lot of times I'm just playing devil's advocate, just a way of getting another point of view across.

I guess I'm just wondering, literally, what you mean by over prepare. I'm just curious. Like how detailed do you get in your preparations?

In this context I hear over preparing meaning to prepare well enough to make you comfortable with the situation, then go with what comes your way. Don't do exclisively either. Do both.

 

[IZthe411]

Trying to figure stuff out at the last second is only fun when you have enough background knowledge stored in your brain that the stress factor makes a million ideas that you already had immediately apparent and available to you. In other words, your experience flows forth like a bursting dam of knowledge that has been stored away for the proper moment.

However, if you are trying to figure out things at the last second and have no beeping clue what you're doing, that's no fun at all.

This is Truth- I become the greatest in the 11th hour.

In the beginning I start slowly, getting a sense of what kind of time it's going to take. Once I'm comfortable with that, then I'll kind of go at it a little slower, picking up the pace in the last minute. But if I have no background info on it, going at it cold, I'm in trouble.

 

[Giggly]

Relax, buddy.

 

[Yloh]

"Over Prepare, then go with the Flow".

This sounds a whole lot like me.