Angry.
I'm having lunch with two friends...and they are going on about something or the other...and I'm zoning out..barely listening...(I started imagining what the people at the table next to us were talking about...having one of those fake conversations in my head...which was fun...(the girl was accusing the guy of having to much nacho cheese..and the guy was having none of it...quite entertaining..anyway))...I decide to actually try to say something instead of just passively sitting there...so I do.
Me-"Did you tell your mom that some random black guy said hi?"
him-"umm..no...blah blah blah.."
Me- "Aww..I wanted to put her in an uncomfortable situation..."
Him-"What?"
Me- "Well, you see...if a black person says hi...and doesn't get a high back...that person could theoretically be accused of racism. And if he does get a hi back...that person now has a relationship with some random black guy that the person has never met before..either way..it's a bit awkward..."
Him- "Just stop..."
2nd Him- "Just stop.."
Me- "What?"*looking around as if I didn't know...*
2nd Him- "So I need a haircut..."
Him- "Yeah me too..."
Me-*Oh my god...I can't even get an interesting conversation if I accuse someones mom of being a racist?*
Being the foolish person that I am...I continue in my attempts to have an interesting conversation even if it has to be relatively shallow..
Me-"My hair is long..and it's shaggy..but I'm not planning a haircut.."
Him- "Yeah..but you are black..it's different.."
Me- "umm...how is it different?"
Him- "It just is.."
Me- "?"
Him- "Just stop..."
I'm going to start accusing everyone of being a racist. Or better yet...I should burn a swastika in the middle of a field...or something...just for conversation that I can actually engage in.
I'm seriously considering telling people I'm gay. I want to experience what that's like...my only concern is how the hell do I explain that to some girl I actually like...
"No...I'm not really gay..I was just telling people that because I thought it would be fun.."
"How is that fun?"
"Well not really fun, more interesting...you know?"
"So you aren't gay?"
"Depending on how you define it...I'm not"
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know...I know some people would think that thinking another man is attractive in any context is gay.."
"So you are gay.."
"No! I just think some men could be considered attractive...in a non sexual way...you know? Like how a lion could be attractive..but I don't want to have sex with it..."
"Have you ever done anything sexual with another man?"
"Under the way you probably define sexual and within the context of this conversation...I'm still a man-virgin.."
"Will you ever have sex with another man?"
"It's not in my plans...."
Seriously...anyone who can put up with my crap and still want to marry me will be no less than an angel in my mind.
Aghh...life is so boring sometimes...
wow..long post..it is what it is...