Fun question/debate. Thanks for playing devil's advocate. I love things that make me think more in-depth and challenge my stances in a fair and friendly way. Too many people use dirty tactics because they're more interested in an ego battle than the discovery of truth or refinement of thought.
No big deal. There is no need to apologize. I don't care whether anyone laughs at me, they're just superficial/shallow and blind to how moronic what they're doing is. I laugh right back at them because it's ridiculous to be that shallow/superficial and I can't take them seriously. I admit a part of me also feels sorry for them though...I can't help but to have a bit of compassion even in those cases.
Don't even get me started on the stories about my former roommate's 16 year old son, lol. He was obnoxious as hell about anyone who wasn't into whatever was popular/trending, especially music.
I have always been on the front end of design trends when it comes to my fashion/design works, but before I had refined my skills/tastes/eye for things, people laughed at me or thought I was weird for my individuality in that, too. I gave 'em the middle finger and kept doing my own thing, then later they were all fucking trying to copy me. I had to file DMCA's. Some still do try to copy the style of my works, lol.
Is there such thing as a truly happy "conformist?" I don't mean happiness like "person feels better about conforming because it's safer or more comfortable," I mean enjoying life, enjoying their own freedom and individuality, exercising their own will, making their own decisions, etc. It's healthy to have some boundaries.
I see multiple angles/possibilities in response to this.
- Yes - shaming occured, as did an attempt to alter their position
- No - shaming occured, but the objective was merely defending one's own stance / autonomy / independence, without attempting to alter the other's stance. AKA "back off, I don't need to do it your way, this is how I see it and why I never will"
- If also enforcing the idea that influence should not be attempted...then I have to question: if there was no one influencing, wouldn't a 'happy conformist' be autonomously choosing conformity? Kind of an oxymoron, lol. It's not exactly the same as this 'conformity' in that case, as it is done of one's own deliberate, autonomous will.
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- No - shaming did not occur, but there was an attempt to alter the other's stance
- No - and this is the most interesting angle imo...shaming occured, as did an attempt to alter their position, but such is not "the flip side of the coin." Why?
Conformity is a social function and in some cases serves a purpose, but the thing about autonomy is that it doesn't intrinsically equate to a lack of cooperation, synchronization, coordination, unified effort or thought, and whatever else comes out of conformity. It's the same way that "thinking as if there is no box" is going to at times overlap with thinking inside of the box. If you're thinking outside of the box excessively / just to avoid thinking inside of the box, that's dumb / try-hard because it means you'll still do that even if whatever is inside of the box makes more sense. Likewise, autonomous thinking doesn't equate to isolated thinking. Ideally, it would simply mean they won't absent-mindedly follow like lemmings diving off of a cliff just because the others are. Ideally, they will challenge things more because they're using their own minds. As a result, they can settle on something more optimal. This is more related to traditionalism than trends, though. Trends are subjective. Therefore, pressuring/judging/shaming people out of their authenticity is merely subjective preference elitism--or perhaps collective preference elitism?--which makes no sense. "My opinion is better than yours" bullshit...which is worse when it's not even your true opinion. Cut it out, let people be who they are without all that shallow/superficial horse shit.
Possibilities aside - in this one specific instance, and the context I said it in: shaming, no. At least that's not my intention. 'Shaming' is sort of like a foreign language I don't receive/speak very well. However, if that's what their response is and it works as motivation, I'm not going to complain. Usually it only encourages people to deny the facts/truth though, which is not very helpful/conducive to desirable results. Calling them out, pointing out the error in those ways--absolutely. Expressing my own annoyance, irritation, frustration, or anger--also yes. Metaphorically "slapping" them to shake them up and get them to rethink their actions or come to some sort of realization--yes, I do that also sometimes.
It's better to encourage autonomy either way, as I see it. You can still have all the benefits of conformity, plus more.
The J part of me loves the order and the courtesy!
