Ricin
Permabanned
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2012
- Messages
- 221
- MBTI Type
- SEXY
- Enneagram
- hot
I've avoided getting attached to anyone. Sometimes I meet new people I like but I don't really feel anything. I just kinda like them, so I don't really care if it works out or not. Then there are the ones that actually make me feel physically different. I get butterflies and feel happy just thinking about them.
I don't want that anymore. I don't want to feel anything. Cause when I feel happy to be around someone like that It's even worse when it doesn't work out. I fall into the deepest depths of depression and start thinking about suicide.
I'm not good with this socializing thing or getting relationships. Every attempt I've made to understand it hasn't worked out either. I just don't want to feel anything anymore. Cause it never works out. I like someone and they're in a relationship or they aren't interested and then I feel really down about everything. I don't want to feel this down and depressed.
I try to fight it. It never works. Right now I can't focus on anything at all. Everything else seems so pale and bland when I'm like this. Nothing matters. I listen to a song I used to enjoy and it's just noise to me. I play a game I like and it's a mundane task. I I feel empty.
So, I met someone. Easy person to talk to. I didn't have my phone since it'd be stolen. We exchanged facebooks. Then as I was on my way home it hit me... I really liked this person. I don't want to, but I do. I check out the page and it appears as if they're in a relationship...
Then I felt empty. I also felt very helpless and vulnerable knowing that there isn't much I can do about finding someone. I wanted to die, cause I hate this feeling. But eventually I'll get used to this one not being with me and stop caring and grow numb again.
I don't want that anymore. I don't want to feel anything. Cause when I feel happy to be around someone like that It's even worse when it doesn't work out. I fall into the deepest depths of depression and start thinking about suicide.
I'm not good with this socializing thing or getting relationships. Every attempt I've made to understand it hasn't worked out either. I just don't want to feel anything anymore. Cause it never works out. I like someone and they're in a relationship or they aren't interested and then I feel really down about everything. I don't want to feel this down and depressed.
I try to fight it. It never works. Right now I can't focus on anything at all. Everything else seems so pale and bland when I'm like this. Nothing matters. I listen to a song I used to enjoy and it's just noise to me. I play a game I like and it's a mundane task. I I feel empty.
So, I met someone. Easy person to talk to. I didn't have my phone since it'd be stolen. We exchanged facebooks. Then as I was on my way home it hit me... I really liked this person. I don't want to, but I do. I check out the page and it appears as if they're in a relationship...
Then I felt empty. I also felt very helpless and vulnerable knowing that there isn't much I can do about finding someone. I wanted to die, cause I hate this feeling. But eventually I'll get used to this one not being with me and stop caring and grow numb again.
