new year

[INTJMom]

Well, I'm off to work today, but before I go, I just felt like writing. My husband is a miserable soul and I don't know how to help him. I mean, he won't help himself. Last night, the smoke from the woodstove wouldn't go up the chimney, and instead, filled the whole house with smoke. It was so bad, we thought for sure there must be a clog somewhere. It was thick billowing smoke almost seemingly forced out of the air intakes. He took apart the whole system, we ran the chimney cleaning brush through, and nothing! Could it really just have been from barometric pressure that the smoke refused to go up the chimney?! We still don't know what was wrong with the woodstove, unless there's a blockage within the guts of it that we can't see or get to.

He was entirely beside himself during the episode. At one point he seemed like he wanted to leave his own skin. He was angry and using vulgarities and just a basket case really. I was afraid his high blood pressure would blow and he'd be on his way to the emergency room in a moment.

I decided to keep my job. It turns out that I misunderstood some of the finer details of the organization. But thinking of myself working there long term is depressing. I hate that kind of high pressure constant busy-ness. When the ad said multi-tasking, she wasn't kidding! Yesterday an email came in from a disgruntled customer. The way I would like to do things is not the way she has been doing them. I feel the pressure of giving good customer service, but she does not. Her system is not set up for efficient handling and prompt response, neither is her mind set. "It will all get done in its own time," she says. "These guys are used to being served slowly," she says. You know what? I don't think so. Anyway, my hands are tied. I can't do anything about it.

We've got a major financial crisis coming to the state of Maine next year. We've got to cut $800 million from the budget. What in the world is the deal with that?! I wish I hadn't awaken to that news this morning. It just hit me wrong. I just keep imagining my husband being laid-off and our lives getting flushed down the toilet.

I'm sad about Ventrilo. At first, I was excited when people finally started logging on and talking to each other, but it turns out that MBTI is usually not the topic for very long, if at all. And really the last thing I want to know about is other people's sexual habits. And I don't know why people feel so free to be obscene with their language and their ideas. I could find "cleaner" discussions in a bar. But whatever. I looked around for a profanity filter, but there is none available for the chat which is how most people communicate even if they have a mike. I was pleased to find out I could mute out a certain person's mike if I wanted to. It's pretty bad when even Nocap and Uber are muting people! It just goes to show that I don't really fit in or belong here. I spent a long time trying to cut vulgar language out of my habitual usage, and being around it a lot and hearing it a lot just makes it harder to control my thoughts and my tongue. I haven't used the kind of language or even been around it for over 25 years. It's kind of like drinking bottled water for a really long time and then drinking tap water again and tasting the chlorine and the ammonia. The difference is even more vivid, and more distasteful. The obvious solution is to stay off of Ventrilo. I'm just sad. It could really be something special. I probably should get a real life. One thing that I found interesting in doing a search for a Ventrilo profanity filter was that I got several results that were pages where people were requesting that people watch their language while using Ventrilo, especially in the "lobby" even several WoW sites! But I already know how people feel about that here. I wish I had never learned about the profanity blocker for Firefox. I would have gotten this place out of my system a long time ago. I'm really sad. I went looking around for another forum I could go to instead, but I wasn't successful. I really just need to get a life.

I don't think I'm okay today. I feel emotionally all out of whack.

I just ordered Jung's Psychological Types and Myers' Gifts Differing yesterday, and that's in addition to Keirsey's Please Understand Me II, so I have plenty of reading to do.

Hi-ho Hi-ho.

 

[Xander]

You know even in a ventrillo chat comprised of all adults who are playing a war game I've heard of requests for better language.

Mind you I think I could trump the ventrillo problem... trying to remain quiet and compliant as my sister rips into her kids again and again with vulgar language and profanities only to reprimand them again later for using such language themselves... I think I'm perhaps too patient. I wonder if an ENFJ would listen if I just walked away without explanation or if I would simply be demonised in my absence... I fear the latter is more probable by far...

 

[INTJMom]

I feel sorry for her kids. My mother used to swear at me and used vulgar language at me when she was angry with me. It's demoralizing.

Having an ENFJ son myself, with anger issues, I know how difficult it is for them to curb their tempers.

 

[INTJMom]

I would like to give credit to Uber for sticking up for me one evening when I was on Ventrilo. Not only did he curb his own tongue, but also pointed out to someone else that he should do the same.

 

[Salomé]

I think it's clear that the 'chat' forum is for chatting - I've never bothered to check it out although I am curious about voices - I might lurk one day. As for the language issue, it's funny, I'm much more tolerant of profanity in type than when having to listen to it. I don't mind it used humouressly but used in anger I don't like. One of my new year's resolutions was to swear less. Guess it's a fail on that one. Sorry Mom

But I'm disappointed too that this forum in general seems to be deteriorating into nothing more than flirt central. (Even though I realize that I'm guilty of fluffing things up myself sometimes.) The balance seems to be wrong at the moment. Lots of new/young ppl joining with little interest in serious discussion.

It is addictive though. Even when it's disappointing...
I'm starting my new job next week so won't have much time to spend reading rubbish on the forums. This can only be a good thing.

/grumpy old woman rant

 

[INTJMom]

Hey! I LOVE your grumpy old woman rant!

I've noticed that deterioration too.
I've been told that INTPs can have a tendency to flirt, and since the large majority of the population here is INTP, that probably explains a great deal of it. I don't have a problem with innocent flirting, and I haven't actually seen much on the board... but I stopped reading the board a few weeks ago, except for a few very cautiously selected threads, so I wouldn't really know.

I think it's too bad that your average every day person who doesn't use a lot of vulgar language would probably be repelled quite quickly by the plethora of vulgarities and sexual innuendo (and references) on the site these days. And I'd be really surprised if many parents who check up on their kids' online whereabouts would let their kid hang out here. I just think it's unfortunate for the website.

But I'm beginning to think that there's no such thing as a polite intelligent adult conversation available online. If you know of a place, let me know. I was thinking of that saying the generation before mine used, "Don't trust anyone over 30." I'm thinking I may adopt the slogan, "Don't trust anyone under 30." That's about how I'm feeling right now.

I know what you mean about vulgarities being spoken in anger being more bothersome than those spoken for humor's sake. I guess I feel the same way, though I prefer neither. I'm not sure why words have such a deep effect on me, I think perhaps because words are my love language... I don't know... but words have a deep effect on me. They create an atmosphere where I either feel safe and welcome, or not. To me, words express feelings. Vulgar words have an aggressive component to them, to my estimation, and that's one of the reasons why they make me feel uncomfortable, I think.

I commend you for making that Resolution. It's HARD to control your words. It takes a LOT of self-control. I admire you for trying.

 

[JAVO]

Regarding the smoke from the woodstove not going up the chimney, that could be due to something else which is sucking air from outside, most likely a furnace blower. If so, you would need to supply the furnace with more intake air, or maybe seal up the return air system for it better.

 

[G-Virus]

I have known for a while that I have had a very vulgar tongue. I never used to swear before I went to college and now I am akin to what you call a sailor. I often remember trying to curb my language and working on it for a week, but after reading this, I have really put it in me to really work on this as a life style change and not just a temporary fix.

Thank you so much for this reminder, it was beautiful.

My mom told me once that if you can control what is in your mouth and what is between your legs, you will be a good man. I think it's true.

 

[INTJMom]

I love your mom! That's a great saying!

I wish you good success with your endeavor.

 

[Xander]

The problem with most innuendo is it's poorly done. If you couldn't confuse it for an innocent comment with ease then it's not being done right.

Proper innuendo is both polite and socially acceptable. In fact in most circles it's a desirable skill to have.


As for the smoke, do you have a flue?

 

[INTJMom]

The problem with most innuendo is it's poorly done. If you couldn't confuse it for an innocent comment with ease then it's not being done right.

Proper innuendo is both polite and socially acceptable. In fact in most circles it's a desirable skill to have.

I may have used the word too lightly. In some cases, the actual subject was not hidden by innuendo at all.

As for the smoke, do you have a flue?

Seriously?!
Do we have a flue?!

... deletes all insults to Xander's intelligence or lapse of judgment in asking question...

Why, yes. We have a flue.
Why do you ask?

 

[Xander]

I was wondering whether the wind was in the wrong direction and it was blowing down your chimney. A flue stops that from happening.

If you've got one, have you checked it?

As for innuendo, I thought you'd gone off track there. Nowt wrong with a bit of dicing with the improper done in well timed fashion

 

[INTJMom]

Don't all chimneys have a flue? If it did not have a flue, it would not be a chimney; it would be an obelisk.

The flue in the chimney has a new metal liner that we just had put in last year. The flue does go up and then takes a bend around the upstairs fireplace and then goes straight up from there. Perhaps the bend in the flue reduces the efficiency of the draw.

The barometric pressure proved to be the cause of our problem that night. My husband spoke to someone else who had the same thing happen to him.

The next morning when the same thing began to happen again as I started a new fire in the cold stove, I opened a window, which improved the power of the draw of air, and the smoke went up the chimney.

Your last sentence had too many typos/British words in it for it to make sense to me.