Mock emotions

[miss fortune]

most of my emotions that are outwardly expressed are done so falsely for comedic effect- or to scare people...

I love yelling at others angrilly in traffic- it actually is a joyous thing for me to do! and pretending to be angry at customers for being complete and utter idiots also is a happy thing for me, though sometimes they don't pick up on it...

other times it's just easier to be pretending to be feeling something- like when you're visiting someone in the hospital and you know that they're so far gone mentally that they're not them anymore, but you still treat them like they are and such- that's just done for the sake of others- it's easier on all of us if I do!

 

[nightning]

am i the only screwball who expresses everything exactly as i feel, whenever i feel it?

Well you can "unscrew" the top and join me in the rollyball. Like DD, I also wear my heart on my sleeves. It's the blasted Fe I tell you. It has me flipping through emotions like channels on TV depending on what's around me. I can go from anger to crying to uncontrollable laughter while tears are still flowing. Makes me sound like an emo kid I guess it's the difference between tertiary Fe in ENTPs compared to auxillary in INFJs. Fe have you flipping through emotions. Whereas the ENTPs tend to display/exaggerate emotions for effect, INFJs tend to feel the emotions as they go by?

 

[Athenian200]

In response to the original post:

I understand how emotions like that are, but I don't usually use them. I usually use them around an authority figure I don't know very well, but more seriously, to convey an impression of respect I may not actually have. I usually only display emotions I actually feel a bit more strongly, though. I don't want to seem silly or flippant. I'm sure an ENTP doesn't have a problem with that.

In fact, the comment I usually get from people that notice is that they can tell I'm having a reaction about every semi-unusual situation in real life, but trying to seem subdued/calm so as not to draw attention. Almost the opposite of what you do... I not only don't express extra emotion for effect, I try to downplay my actual feelings to avoid attention/tension.

 

[Seanan]

This one is almost embarrassing to me because, to explain, I'll have to tell on myself and its

One day, I was overcome with frustration which hubby had never seen before. We were raising grandkids and they would never listen to me. I asked him what I was doing wrong that they wouldn't. He said: "You're not mad enough." Well, the next day, when alone, I stood in front of the mirror and practiced angry faces coupled with the angriest voice I could muster. I practiced almost daily for over a week and then the need arose and I used it. Both kids laughed at me... I mean they really cracked up! I was so embarrassed. (when I quit laughing) I told them, okay, you're just going to have to accept that I don't get mad... but I do get even. And that was the beginning of new relationships. I found that's what works on hubby too because he was already programmed to respond to anger... so since I can't do that... I go buy a new fridge or something when he steps on my toes too much which he doesn't do very often.

I have been mad a few times in my life and I don't use the word lightly. It is madness... I can't think and can barely speak. It is something I avoid like the plague.

You know what... it was so traumatic for me, in remembering, I lost what the whole subject is so I'm going to read and will come back if I haven't covered it.

Okay, I'm back. I'm so unfamiliar with emotion that I can't even think what they are. Happy? Yes, I laugh at humor... does that qualify? But, mostly, I relate to it as more contented which is mental for me I think. Grief, yes but it has to be something really bad like someone or a pet dying.... 9/11 and loosing comrades in the service did it. Fear, yes, but again it has to be really threatening to a loved one or myself.

Like you, mostly mine are only "skin deep." I've only felt them intensely a handful of times.

 

[LucrativeSid]

I do the exact same thing. I think that by acting like you're a lot more emotional about something than you are is a way to have fun, inspire reaction/debate/conversation, and to feel alive and perhaps feel like you are actually living all the way. When you put something out into the world, it moves around and stimulates you somewhat. If we didn't act like that, we'd be like your ISTJ friend, which to us would probably be so boring that we'd die.

I, too, say lots of things everyday that I would never stand by. I always figure, if I say the wrong thing, I can always take it back or say something better. Words are not permanent. Sometimes people will not forgive you when you make a mistake, but oh well, it happens. It's their fault for being sissies and not taking the time to understand the logic of what happened when you try really hard to explain it to them.

I also say a lot of things that I'm so adamant about that I'd be willing to put my life on the line for them.

But, yes, I think this may have something to do with always trying new things, always trying to spice things up, and always focusing on what could happen if only we randomly did THIS.

It's hard to explain how one follows his Ne.

 

[swordpath]

Question:
Substitute do/would you do your shouting/bird flipping act at a bad driver even if you're by yourself or is it something you do with friends just for a few laughs?

 

[Tallulah]

This one is almost embarrassing to me because, to explain, I'll have to tell on myself and its

One day, I was overcome with frustration which hubby had never seen before. We were raising grandkids and they would never listen to me. I asked him what I was doing wrong that they wouldn't. He said: "You're not mad enough." Well, the next day, when alone, I stood in front of the mirror and practiced angry faces coupled with the angriest voice I could muster. I practiced almost daily for over a week and then the need arose and I used it. Both kids laughed at me... I mean they really cracked up! I was so embarrassed. (when I quit laughing) I told them, okay, you're just going to have to accept that I don't get mad... but I do get even. And that was the beginning of new relationships. I found that's what works on hubby too because he was already programmed to respond to anger... so since I can't do that... I go buy a new fridge or something when he steps on my toes too much which he doesn't do very often.

I have been mad a few times in my life and I don't use the word lightly. It is madness... I can't think and can barely speak. It is something I avoid like the plague.

You know what... it was so traumatic for me, in remembering, I lost what the whole subject is so I'm going to read and will come back if I haven't covered it.

Okay, I'm back. I'm so unfamiliar with emotion that I can't even think what they are. Happy? Yes, I laugh at humor... does that qualify? But, mostly, I relate to it as more contented which is mental for me I think. Grief, yes but it has to be something really bad like someone or a pet dying.... 9/11 and loosing comrades in the service did it. Fear, yes, but again it has to be really threatening to a loved one or myself.

Like you, mostly mine are only "skin deep." I've only felt them intensely a handful of times.

That is absolutely brilliant! I'm totally going to adopt that stance, too. I don't get mad very often, either, especially over the smaller stuff. I'm just going to "get even" in a way they'll understand that they can't walk on me.

As to the OP, I do that, too. I think maybe I do it in such a way that people know I'm kidding, though. And then I also do the thing where I'll anticipate the way I'm SUPPOSED to feel, so I'll display the outward appropriate response. I seem to have some sort of disconnect between my actual emotions and the display of them, though. I don't trust them enough to bypass my brain. If, for instance, someone at the office says that a family member of theirs died, I'll make the sad face and say something comforting, even though I might not actually FEEL some strong emotion about it. I just know that it's a bad situation for them.

I find it much easier to express real-time emotions and feel immediate empathy here, where people aren't reading my face. It feels more genuine, somehow, if that makes sense.

 

[substitute]

I do this a lot. I even do it here sometimes. The appropriate response (and especially one to get the point across) might be "annoyance" or "anger", and so I play into that, more to express my opinion of the matter, but not really because I'm as annoyed or angry emotionally as I might be making myself sound.

I am mostly saying there is an intellectualized component to my emotion, it's not all pure expression.

Yes, this is exactly what I was getting at - no, when I curse at the annoying driver, I am NOT actually expressing a real emotion that's just not very deep or serious, I am expressing an emotion that I do not feel. I'm playing a role, acting the emotion, as I said, mostly for comic effect. I know it's kinda funny, the cliche of the angry driver, road rage stereotypes and all that sorta thing, funny to me because I don't feel that at all.

When I encounter strange driving behaviour I just laugh inwardly, perhaps roll my eyes, smiling - it's all par for the course, I expect it, there's no surprise there and just no space for anger or frustration. I know there are idiots on the road, that's why I stay back and keep to the speed limits (usually, on the latter... ). But since one of the things I like doing most is making people laugh, if there's someone else in the car with me then I often play into the stereotype, even exaggerate it, parody it.

The ISTJ doesn't seem to be able to comprehend that this is what I'm doing, no matter how much I tell him. I find it curious because of course he's aware of the concept of acting - how can he not be? But to claim that all actors must feel on some level the emotions they're enacting, seems to me absurd! Does that mean, if say Mel Gibson were to play the role of a child molester in a movie, that on some level Mel Gibson is sexually attracted to children?? Absurd!!

That's a strange assumption to make. Just because a teacher is angry with a class doesn't mean s/he is angry at another adult. Why should the teacher express anger to someone s/he isn't angry with? There are plenty of times I'm furious with my class, but I'm not about to let that fury spill over and pollute my other relationships.

Okay, consider my wrists smacked for not putting in the disclaimers and assuming they'd be taken as read! I'm not talking about all teachers, but I know that this is the case for some because they've said so to me. So you see, it wasn't an "assumption" because I didn't assume it, I asked a few teachers about it and most of them said that's the case.

most of my emotions that are outwardly expressed are done so falsely for comedic effect- or to scare people...

I love yelling at others angrilly in traffic- it actually is a joyous thing for me to do! and pretending to be angry at customers for being complete and utter idiots also is a happy thing for me, though sometimes they don't pick up on it...

EXACTLY!! I'm actually HAPPY, not angry!

 

[substitute]

I do the exact same thing. I think that by acting like you're a lot more emotional about something than you are is a way to have fun, inspire reaction/debate/conversation, and to feel alive and perhaps feel like you are actually living all the way. When you put something out into the world, it moves around and stimulates you somewhat. ....

It's hard to explain how one follows his Ne.

I think you did a pretty good job actually.

It's interesting how in this thread it seems mostly ENTP's and to a lesser extent, INTP's, relate the most. So maybe it is an Ne thing then... but it's also interesting how it's not Si-doms but mostly F's who find the idea difficult to believe.

Question:
Substitute do/would you do your shouting/bird flipping act at a bad driver even if you're by yourself or is it something you do with friends just for a few laughs?

No, I never do it by myself. I barely even notice it when I'm by myself. It's all just par for the course, there's no reaction at all really except the practical one - to get out and stay out of the mad driver's way.

 

[Seanan]

Yes, this is exactly what I was getting at - no, when I curse at the annoying driver, I am NOT actually expressing a real emotion that's just not very deep or serious, I am expressing an emotion that I do not feel. I'm playing a role, acting the emotion, as I said, mostly for comic effect. I know it's kinda funny, the cliche of the angry driver, road rage stereotypes and all that sorta thing, funny to me because I don't feel that at all.

That's what I mean. I've learned how people who "feel" act and follow suit when I can. I wish someone would tell me just what "emotion" actually means... not the definition but what they experience.... is it physical? Is it mental? Of course for me, it would have to include thoughts they're having in the process for me to get it I think. I'm so dense about it that can't I fathom anything but the thought process.

 

[substitute]

you're not alone Seanan - I'm not much further along that road myself, I think because of the increase (huge increase) in my social life in the last few years it's changed in me and I've begun to feel more, because I have more stuff to feel about, if you get me? But before that I was just as baffled by the whole thing as you and even now though I'm not completely baffled any more, I'm still a looooooong way from understanding it and even longer away from actually being able to do it.

 

[Tallulah]

Yes, this is exactly what I was getting at - no, when I curse at the annoying driver, I am NOT actually expressing a real emotion that's just not very deep or serious, I am expressing an emotion that I do not feel. I'm playing a role, acting the emotion, as I said, mostly for comic effect. I know it's kinda funny, the cliche of the angry driver, road rage stereotypes and all that sorta thing, funny to me because I don't feel that at all.

That's what I mean. I've learned how people who "feel" act and follow suit when I can. I wish someone would tell me just what "emotion" actually means... not the definition but what they experience.... is it physical? Is it mental? Of course for me, it would have to include thoughts they're having in the process for me to get it I think. I'm so dense about it that can't I fathom anything but the thought process.

Yeah, that's what I'd like to know. I'd love to be in a feeler's shoes for the day. Maybe we should start a thread on what it's like to be a feeler?

 

[Seanan]

Yeah, that's what I'd like to know. I'd love to be in a feeler's shoes for the day. Maybe we should start a thread on what it's like to be a feeler?

Go for it! I don't know how. There's one for what its like to be an extrovert... so why not?