Ghost of the dead horse
filling some space
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2007
- Messages
- 3,552
- MBTI Type
- ENTJ
As a young INTx, I knew I was much too stuck up with my routines and my view of life. One point, I was afraid of life. I thought almost everything people did in the world was not serious enough, not worthy of attention, and people were nuts and dumb. Then again I found myself much lacking in know-how of living life, being a full person, so in the end I came up to the logical conclusion of having to experience different mindsets from a first-person view, that is, personally. I think my life was a miserable shadow of my current life back then, although I did produce some wonderous intellectual and technical stuff.
It was an extremely crucial point in my life to understand that my personality back then just wasn't the way to go. Not for me.
Growing up in a religious home, I was introduced to a concept in Christian God. God's name, translated as "I am whom I am" in some translations, or, more closely to the original in hebrew, "I become what I become" inspired more curiosity in me.
I had always wondered about the persons who became engaged with some event in their life that seemed ultimately trivial. That would be a thing like giving birth to a child, getting your face on TV, earning a million bucks etc. These would beanything but nothing like finding a new theorem in physics, mathematics or computer science.
Later on I was introduced to analytical psychology. I was intriqued by the idea that there are other personalities who are just as much captivated by their processes, insights and values as I am, but their way of life have been born of different internal psychology.
As I began to see good in persons with other kinds of internal psychology, I started to understand the need to master it all, as opposed to letting my personality control me.
I was incredibly shy, and not long time since I came up with these ideas, I wanted to experience the life as someone I hadn't experienced it, I wanted to see the same stuff other people had done and enjoyed. Fortunately I experienced a life-changing event (I was about to be killed), which removed me of unnecessary fear of life, and I was able to overcome my shyness.
Enter the experimenting era. So, first I dared to be something resembling an ENTP. I was afraid to make contact, but I was more afraid of my life ending prematurely before I had got the chance to experience good interaction with people.
In my years to come, I became to see personality as a consistent way of habits, or an inclination of thinking and action one can control.
The key personality to this was the "reporter" MBTI type. I thought the "reporter" could write articles about his experiences first-hand, because they had entered the right mindset. I became to think of it as an ability to put myself in different mindsets, making me able to accomplish different things.
So, having found freedom in my thoughts, I experimented with the world a lot.
In some time, I found the use in controlling what I experiment, instead of just going with the flow. I found it was useful to adapt (to) the kind of mindset needed for some grand thing happening in my life. If I had to save on my expenditures for a while, it helped not to follow my first instinct (and desire for fun) that much.
I also learned the strategic value (and meaning) of being equipped with a certain kind of personality for a long time. One's personality - inclination of habits and thinking - creates some new kind of things in one's life one couldn't have been expecting. It can be a boon or bane, but it's interesting.
In the end, I thought that there's some underlieing concept of "success" that I'm trying to grasp, no matter what mindset I had entered. I wanted to be well-suited for the task, whatever it was. What personality was in control of what personality I had? That would be ENTJ, or something VERY close to that. So that ended my search of personality type.
I'm many experiences richer, and I think many people have the capability to enter new mindsets that are particularly well-suited for different tasks. It is not a story of losing one's mind, but a story of development, a consistent grand plan, greater view of things - with a chance to experience the world, and one's mind. There's a king of kings within one's brain, something above the instance of one's personality, patterns or thinking at any one time - or at least, that is my experience. There's continuity, there's sense within it all. Perhaps something close to Ni with those who lift MBTI as the greatest thing for their personalities. I think person's greatest powers rise above their personality at any one time, and more importantly, above their personality type, or their dominant functions per MBTI.
Where does one want to drift with their personalities? It's the driver who's in control. People are equipped with powerful brains that are capable of unforeseen changes. New powers can be found within one's mind. One can make what they are. Where do you want to go?
It was an extremely crucial point in my life to understand that my personality back then just wasn't the way to go. Not for me.
Growing up in a religious home, I was introduced to a concept in Christian God. God's name, translated as "I am whom I am" in some translations, or, more closely to the original in hebrew, "I become what I become" inspired more curiosity in me.
I had always wondered about the persons who became engaged with some event in their life that seemed ultimately trivial. That would be a thing like giving birth to a child, getting your face on TV, earning a million bucks etc. These would be
Later on I was introduced to analytical psychology. I was intriqued by the idea that there are other personalities who are just as much captivated by their processes, insights and values as I am, but their way of life have been born of different internal psychology.
As I began to see good in persons with other kinds of internal psychology, I started to understand the need to master it all, as opposed to letting my personality control me.
I was incredibly shy, and not long time since I came up with these ideas, I wanted to experience the life as someone I hadn't experienced it, I wanted to see the same stuff other people had done and enjoyed. Fortunately I experienced a life-changing event (I was about to be killed), which removed me of unnecessary fear of life, and I was able to overcome my shyness.
Enter the experimenting era. So, first I dared to be something resembling an ENTP. I was afraid to make contact, but I was more afraid of my life ending prematurely before I had got the chance to experience good interaction with people.
In my years to come, I became to see personality as a consistent way of habits, or an inclination of thinking and action one can control.
The key personality to this was the "reporter" MBTI type. I thought the "reporter" could write articles about his experiences first-hand, because they had entered the right mindset. I became to think of it as an ability to put myself in different mindsets, making me able to accomplish different things.
So, having found freedom in my thoughts, I experimented with the world a lot.
In some time, I found the use in controlling what I experiment, instead of just going with the flow. I found it was useful to adapt (to) the kind of mindset needed for some grand thing happening in my life. If I had to save on my expenditures for a while, it helped not to follow my first instinct (and desire for fun) that much.
I also learned the strategic value (and meaning) of being equipped with a certain kind of personality for a long time. One's personality - inclination of habits and thinking - creates some new kind of things in one's life one couldn't have been expecting. It can be a boon or bane, but it's interesting.
In the end, I thought that there's some underlieing concept of "success" that I'm trying to grasp, no matter what mindset I had entered. I wanted to be well-suited for the task, whatever it was. What personality was in control of what personality I had? That would be ENTJ, or something VERY close to that. So that ended my search of personality type.
I'm many experiences richer, and I think many people have the capability to enter new mindsets that are particularly well-suited for different tasks. It is not a story of losing one's mind, but a story of development, a consistent grand plan, greater view of things - with a chance to experience the world, and one's mind. There's a king of kings within one's brain, something above the instance of one's personality, patterns or thinking at any one time - or at least, that is my experience. There's continuity, there's sense within it all. Perhaps something close to Ni with those who lift MBTI as the greatest thing for their personalities. I think person's greatest powers rise above their personality at any one time, and more importantly, above their personality type, or their dominant functions per MBTI.
Where does one want to drift with their personalities? It's the driver who's in control. People are equipped with powerful brains that are capable of unforeseen changes. New powers can be found within one's mind. One can make what they are. Where do you want to go?