Life: to be taken ambitiously or laid-back?

[niki]

Based from my own observation thorought my life, I can see two "big groups" type of people:

The first group is, those people who're so motivated, ambitious, set target here & there in quick & fast manner, move fast "ahead of time" , thinking hard to "Be the Best (or number One)" in things that they do, & usually tend to be workalholic, and business-oriented (although not necessarily always motivated in business field. but generally speaking, maybe).

The second group is, those people who're more laid-back attitude, relax, easy-going, tend to have "why be the Best? why not instead try the BEST to enjoy life, while we're still ALIVE?" , and tend to be more spontaneous than the first-group, not really like to set this target, that target, and prioritize & schedule everything to the little-detailest . the song "Bare Necessities" from animated old-Disney movie Jungle Book suddenly come to mind Song Lyrics: The Jungle Book

Which group you think you're belong to?
My pure guess is: I'd guess that many INFPs (my Type) would automatically belong to the 2nd group (like myself) . I even take it one-step further of what could probably 'causing' this attitude-difference: it is the J/P letter in a person..but I could be wrong.

I personally find myself to often repeatedly asking these questions: why hurry our life? why everything has to be hurried, and planned, & targeted? ..why hurry to 'get married, & have kids' ? (it just adds more troubles, whether in financial, more stress, more bills to pay, etc). Also, why should we try to succeed a la mainstream society's notions? is being "SUCCESFUL" is only identical with chasing those cliche things like: big, lots of money, high title & degrees, etc...while in the process of attaining all of them, we have MORE stress, more sour face, more problems, headache, etc! though we sometimes know that it's NOT according to our talents, or our soul, or the job is not what we like. Why we should become the next hyprocrites , to "keep running and chase that "number-one" title just to satisfy mainstream society or other people's wants & ego"? What's the point of it anyway? Why can't Life just be "Bare Necessities" (like that excellent Jungle Book's song by Baloo the Bear!). So why all the troubles? Why can't people just take life easily, and try the BEST to enjoy what it is, rather than try hard to be the BEST? (we all will eventually die anyway, and those big money, high titles won't accompany us to our grave. rather, it'll be for another person, not for us). why not try hard to appreciate Life as it is, rather than hurriedly pacing everything in Life down to the minutest details, and why burden ourselves with the constant-pressures to become "Number One", while we know that "Life is just not perfect, and we often can't be or have what we want" ?

Those are the frequent questions that I often have, while I'm working in my numbing factory-setting.
Unfortunately, those thoughts are what make me often get scorned, secluded, isolated, especially when people around me are of the first-group (ie: workalholics, target/goal-oriented, ambitious people) , but I'm just pretty sure that people in my Type/group is also not few in amount.hehe

So, which group you think you belong to?
And what's ur personal reason for that?

 

[Eve]

Laid back is my overall attitude, but I do have some perfectionists tendencies in some areas where I'm far from laid back.

 

[cafe]

Okay, this is from memory, but here goes:

It's just the bare necessities, the simple bare necessities!
Forget about your worries and your strife!
It's just the bare necessities -- that's why a bear can rest at ease
With just the bear necessities of life!​

*checks lyrics* Not perfect, but pretty close. That's one of my top two favorite animated Disney movies. I had a stuffed Baloo when I was a kid, too.

I'm all about relaxing and playing. The only thing that motivates me to be anything like ambitious is that I want a nice place to play and a few nice things to play with and I want to make sure it doesn't come to an abrupt and unpleasant end. I want to be comfortable, I want my family to be comfortable and I want it to last a long time.

I did however know early on that I wanted to get married and have children. I found the right guy when I was twenty-one and we got married and had children PDQ. If you know what you want and it all but falls in your lap, why not pick it up?

As to why . . . I don't know. I guess I'm not wired to feel rewarded by the same things that feel rewarding to the Type As.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

My psychologist friend has evaluated me to be extremely motivated by success. Even if I would play down how much my ambitions drive me.

So did my career counselor (psychologist) whom I met some 8 times before deciding my career options suitable for me.

So I have seen myself, too, tho not 100% of time. I've had long playful/depressed times which have made me a practicioner of the "go-with-the-flow" attitude, for different reasons.

Seeing some ADD-kind of thing having affected me for most of my life (not quite, but something like that), I've felt like having bashed my head against the wall when trying to follow my desires and be the A-type person I deeply feel I am (busy, competetive, deeply TJ-type, prone to burnouts). I think I've come over that thing during the last months. I had the goal that I've fixed my life by my 30's. I'm 30 now, and it's quite fixed. Meaning that I am productive and capable of work, and to go for the next step.

 

[Metamorphosis]

I didn't even have to think about this one. If I'm not improving and achieving (or at least trying to), I'm not happy.

 

[INTJMom]

I voted for neither because while I believe I need to have goals - as they say if you don't know where you're going, you won't like where you end up when you get there - not EVERYBODY can be number 1. If I finish in the top 25%, I'll be satisfied.

I am incapable of being "laid-back".

 

[htb]

If I fall below 50 MPH, I will explode.

 

[ygolo]

I didn't even have to think about this one. If I'm not improving and achieving (or at least trying to), I'm not happy.

What he said.

I really just have to be trying (w/ hope of success). I don't need to actually succeed to be happy.

I'm a type A.

 

[Zergling]

I sort of flip/flop between these depending on what is happening in my life at the moment.

 

[Lookin4theBestNU]

I voted for ambition though I don't define success in accepted societal terms such as materialistic achievement. However I am wondering if I am the only one who sees this as a paradox of *some* of the Perceiving temperaments.... "My goal is to not have a goal!"

 

[ygolo]

I voted for ambition though I don't define success in accepted societal terms such as materialistic achievement. However I am wondering if I am the only one who sees this as a paradox of *some* of the Perceiving temperaments.... "My goal is to not have a goal!"

Who answered like that (who is the *some*)? I suppose mine can be misconstrued as saying that.

What I was saying is weird, I know. I have some very long term, very grandiose goals. All I care is that I am striving for them, and that there is still hope for me (or someone else by building on what I and others did) to reach the goal.

But, I don't really care that much if I reach the goals or not.

In other threads, people have talked about financial freedom, freedom from obligations, etc. I think goals and obligations are very different things.

One of my goals is not to have obligations (or as few as possible).

 

[FDG]

You have to maximize efficiency in order to drive to the max the time you're "on", and relax completely the time you're "off", so that you can enjoy both success and relax at different times. I don't see why the two options are mutually exclusive or, rather, I see that they are mutually exclusive at a given point in time.

I want to maximize pleasure, basically, and minimize pain. A life in pain spent for success is usueless. I think that what had the most impact on my mindset was the book "Martin Eden" from Jack London.

Now I try to go with the flow in such a way as to catch the right flow that leads me to the destination I want, making waves only if I see that the flow is heading towards another direction.

 

[Lookin4theBestNU]

I didn't get it from the answers nor was I targeting your post specifically. I got it from experience with P-types and the first 3 paragraphs of the OP which to me sounded very much like that. Also the *some* was because within any given temperament each person can be different which is to be expected. Meaning there could possibly be some super-goal oriented P's out there! One of my spouses main "goals" in particular is to not to be restricted from doing anything he wants to do at anytime he wants to do it.

 

[ygolo]

One of my spouses main "goals" in particular is to not to be restricted from doing anything he wants to do at anytime he wants to do it.

That sounds like a good one to me too

 

[Veneti]

I have so many idea's I can't be laid back. Free time just means a gap to kick off another of my projects....

Why do I do it?... its not money, its not to impress anyone... other than trying to impress myself with more and more unobtainable challenges. Realisation of concepts is even more enjoyable than the creation of them.

 

[ygolo]

Realisation of concepts is even more enjoyable than the creation of them.

What if the concepts self-realize? Just a thought, we are on the verge of a robotics and control-theory revolution.

 

[FDG]

One of my spouses main "goals" in particular is to not to be restricted from doing anything he wants to do at anytime he wants to do it.

Sounds good to me. What else could one desire to do?

 

[Kyrielle]

I'm more or less part of the second group, though some wouldn't know it because of my outside behaviour. Yes, I plan and set goals but it's mostly for the benefit of being able to have lots and lots of time to play...as well as knowing where I'm going. I'm often in such a mild state of confusion, it would be ridiculous if I didn't try to order something in my life. Yes, I want to be the best, but not at everything, just at what I love doing. I couldn't handle the stress of wanting to win ALL the time. Mostly I just want to be above average, and if I can make it there, I'll be pretty happy...but if I go beyond that for some reason, then that's cool too. I really can't stand the stress of being competitive, ambitious, number one every second of my life. Plus, I love playing way too much to be so serious about being ambitious (which is why I'm trying for a career that basically involves a form a play for me).

 

[lbloom]

It's 5 pm, I've just come in to work, and I'm wasting time on a forum. Yeah, very ambitious.

 

[Recoleta]

I'd say I'm happiest when I'm working toward something and have goals. I would say one of the most miserable times in my life was a few months ago when I graduated college, moved back home with my family (to a city where I don't really have friends), was unemployed, and had no more classes to occupy my time (At least, until grad school started 2 months later). I was beyond miserable and was going stir-crazy. I began organizing all of my things, cleaned, did housework, read a lot, went running every morning, applied for various jobs, and tried to do anything to stay active. It wasn't until I found a job and started school again that things got better.

The thing is, I really don't have any aspirations of being "the best." I just want to do enjoy my work and strive to do my best whenever I take on a task. Lol...I set aside time to relax and try to be spontaneous from time to time so I can strike a balance between the two. Overall, I'm most comfortable working, but I love my playtime too.