proteanmix
Plumage and Moult
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2007
- Messages
- 5,514
- Enneagram
- 1w2
I went to a party this weekend given by a friend. Very enjoyable, except that I noticed something in the partygoers that indicates something about me. We're all in our 20s but there was a divide between those of us in our late 20s and those in their early 20s (still in college).
I've noticed that I have become disgusted with people who are uncallused by life...maybe it's jealousy and envy on my part and I completely admit to being a hater. I'm still trying to figure out why this bothers me so...this is a fairly recent development only occurring within the last year. But given the situation that my family and I have been in 2009 I hope it's understandable. Maybe I'll outgrow it in another year or two. I've lately felt like my development is similar to Benjamin Button; I'm old now and hopefully I grow younger later.
But back to the party...I'm sorry I know that sounds judgmental but you can tell who's had things happen to them and who hasn't. I always see the shadows pass through their eyes when they're thinking something over or relating. I can only speculate if they've had life-changing critical junctures in their lives they don't want to speak of or have come to terms with and that's their business, but if there's no sense of knowing or understanding (knowing and understanding of what?) I just don't really want to deal with them.
My friend and I were talking about Rihanna later on Saturday night and he mentioned her interview with Diane Sawyer and how she squandered an opportunity to be come out strongly against domestic violence and how influential she could be to young girls like her who are getting the crap beat out of them by their young boyfriends. That sets up a pattern for life if it's not interrupted quickly and strongly.
We agreed but as I thought about it Sunday I thought maybe she hasn't fully processed it yet and it's something that will re-emerge later on in life. Or that she truly just doesn't want to talk about it or focus on it and that's that. If you look at her actions over the past year would you even know she had the shit beat out of her?
Maybe she's like those kids I met and the party...they've had something happen to them and they've shut it away and locked it from view. Who knows? I need to keep that thought in my head. Either way, it spills out no matter how hard you try to contain it. Very few things on this earth are naturally airtight. How would I react if they spilled on me and I wasn't ready for it?
I've noticed that I have become disgusted with people who are uncallused by life...maybe it's jealousy and envy on my part and I completely admit to being a hater. I'm still trying to figure out why this bothers me so...this is a fairly recent development only occurring within the last year. But given the situation that my family and I have been in 2009 I hope it's understandable. Maybe I'll outgrow it in another year or two. I've lately felt like my development is similar to Benjamin Button; I'm old now and hopefully I grow younger later.
But back to the party...I'm sorry I know that sounds judgmental but you can tell who's had things happen to them and who hasn't. I always see the shadows pass through their eyes when they're thinking something over or relating. I can only speculate if they've had life-changing critical junctures in their lives they don't want to speak of or have come to terms with and that's their business, but if there's no sense of knowing or understanding (knowing and understanding of what?) I just don't really want to deal with them.
My friend and I were talking about Rihanna later on Saturday night and he mentioned her interview with Diane Sawyer and how she squandered an opportunity to be come out strongly against domestic violence and how influential she could be to young girls like her who are getting the crap beat out of them by their young boyfriends. That sets up a pattern for life if it's not interrupted quickly and strongly.
We agreed but as I thought about it Sunday I thought maybe she hasn't fully processed it yet and it's something that will re-emerge later on in life. Or that she truly just doesn't want to talk about it or focus on it and that's that. If you look at her actions over the past year would you even know she had the shit beat out of her?
Maybe she's like those kids I met and the party...they've had something happen to them and they've shut it away and locked it from view. Who knows? I need to keep that thought in my head. Either way, it spills out no matter how hard you try to contain it. Very few things on this earth are naturally airtight. How would I react if they spilled on me and I wasn't ready for it?
