Headstrong
New member
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2007
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- INTJ
Godly Desires vs. Godly Goals
A Continuation of "Learning the Difference Between Godly Goals and Godly Desires [Part One]"
My heath is not the only thing I elevated to a Godly Goal. I have done it with my parents’ marriage, their salvation, and most recently their anticipated attendance to Life Center (my church…which has yet to happen).
Late last year and into March of this year things got really bad at home. I was stressed continuously for weeks on end, unsure of whether my parents were going to split and how I could ever deal with being an only child of divorcing parents. I was suffering multiple panic attacks, crying weeks at a time at church, and I even ended up hyperventilating on the floor of Life Center during worship, through the transition into the sermon, and then crying on and off through the entire message sat in the back corner of the sanctuary.
A little too much information, you say? Probably. But you know what? It happened, believe it or not, and testimonies are rarely pretty.
But back to desiring for my parents’ marriage and salvation to succeed, there is nothing wrong with wanting all of these things! There is something wrong with attempting to control the success or failure of their marriage, their salvation, and their church attendance. That is what painted the pretty picture in the previous paragraph. I cannot base my self-worth in these circumstances. By doing that, my health suffers, and that is ultimately how I landed in the hospital. Five days before I was taken to the ER, I was having heart palpitations. I was going to mention it to my parents, but I didn’t want to burden them with it since I figured it would go away.
I was WRONG. Let’s go back to one of the quotes from the book I mentioned earlier.
“Your Christian walk is the direct result of what you believe. If your faith is off, your walk will be off. If your walk is off, you need to take a good look at what you believe…You thought you understood well what constituted success, fulfillment, and satisfaction, but now you are discovering that what you had believed about life wasn’t quite true. The longer you persists in a faulty belief system, the less fulfilling and productive your daily walk of faith will be...”
My prolonged stress and consequential heart palpitations didn’t go away. Why? My faith was off. I had faith that I alone was and could be the glue holding my family together. Because my faith was off, my walk was off. Because my walk was off and I did not know how to address my emotions (which are God’s ‘red flags’), God stepped in. He gave me the biggest wakeup call of my life.
And this is where my faith began to be tested. (You can read all about this in my previous Facebook notes or ask me about me about it if you have no read them or do not have access to them.)
Now, don’t get me wrong. My parents are not monsters and I do not blame them for what has happened. Their marriage is far from perfect and I have seen some things that no child should ever see. I’m sure we all have, have we not? Our parents have all screwed us up and we are bound to screw up our children. We are imperfect, full of flaws. We fight, scream, get angry, get even, and do things we surely regret. But you know what? I have learned some of the most valuable lessons and because of my past, I am proud to say that I will have the God-given privilege to counsel marriages, children of broken homes, singles in search of something more, and who knows what else!
The only person I can control is myself. I am learning that. Those of you who know me well can testify that I am a control freak. I know it, so I won’t even deny it! My whole life has been an attempt to micromanage people and control situations well beyond my right and ability to control.
Last month there was a period of a few days in which my father was stressed out with the piling medical bills and lack of work. He lash out and displaced his anger on me when I didn’t do a chore on his timeline or jokingly say something that for which he wasn’t in the mood. I knew well enough that I did not do anything to deserve such treatment and that it was a result of his circumstances. It is hard, though, when the person doesn’t acknowledge their behavior and apologize. So, for that time I tried to stay out of his way and keep my mouth shut. In my efforts, he would tell me to stop moping and get happy.
I consequently relapsed in symptoms because I let circumstances beyond my control dictate my emotional well being and happiness. I believed that if I behaved a certain way, it would put him in a better mood and thus my stress would go away. I could not seem to shake it off the circumstances. I was making the desire for peace in the house my goal.
So, as of the present time, I am learning and separating my Godly Desires from Godly Goals. I am letting God use my current situation, which is I believe is partially if not entirely the result of a wrong goal, as a “…catalyst for achieving [His] goal for [my] life, which is [my] sanctification.” I am focusing on becoming the person God called me to be because that is the only thing independent from other people and circumstances.
I encourage you to do the same. Whenever you feel angry, anxious, or depressed, reevaluate your situation. Are you trying to control things that depend upon other people and the outcome of situations? Are you elevating Godly Desires to Godly Goals? Are your desires and goals Godly to begin with?
Let me close with a few verses from the Bible. These both showed up (in the same order) in Victory Over the Darkness and another book I opened randomly for the first time that night called The Peacemaker by Ken Sande.
“We also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perserveereance; and perseverance, proven character, and proven character, hope,; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 3:3-5)
“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4)
“The word “exult” means heightened joy. TO be under tribulation means to be under pressure, and perseverance means to remain under pressure. Persevering through tribulations results in proven character, which is God’s goal for us.”
Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:5 that “The goal of our instruction is love.” “Notice that if you make that your goal, then the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy (instead of depression), peace (instead of anxiety) and patience (instead of anger)….”
And with that, I am finished…for now, anyway. =]
All praises to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords who was, is, and is to come.
A Continuation of "Learning the Difference Between Godly Goals and Godly Desires [Part One]"
My heath is not the only thing I elevated to a Godly Goal. I have done it with my parents’ marriage, their salvation, and most recently their anticipated attendance to Life Center (my church…which has yet to happen).
Late last year and into March of this year things got really bad at home. I was stressed continuously for weeks on end, unsure of whether my parents were going to split and how I could ever deal with being an only child of divorcing parents. I was suffering multiple panic attacks, crying weeks at a time at church, and I even ended up hyperventilating on the floor of Life Center during worship, through the transition into the sermon, and then crying on and off through the entire message sat in the back corner of the sanctuary.
A little too much information, you say? Probably. But you know what? It happened, believe it or not, and testimonies are rarely pretty.
But back to desiring for my parents’ marriage and salvation to succeed, there is nothing wrong with wanting all of these things! There is something wrong with attempting to control the success or failure of their marriage, their salvation, and their church attendance. That is what painted the pretty picture in the previous paragraph. I cannot base my self-worth in these circumstances. By doing that, my health suffers, and that is ultimately how I landed in the hospital. Five days before I was taken to the ER, I was having heart palpitations. I was going to mention it to my parents, but I didn’t want to burden them with it since I figured it would go away.
I was WRONG. Let’s go back to one of the quotes from the book I mentioned earlier.
“Your Christian walk is the direct result of what you believe. If your faith is off, your walk will be off. If your walk is off, you need to take a good look at what you believe…You thought you understood well what constituted success, fulfillment, and satisfaction, but now you are discovering that what you had believed about life wasn’t quite true. The longer you persists in a faulty belief system, the less fulfilling and productive your daily walk of faith will be...”
My prolonged stress and consequential heart palpitations didn’t go away. Why? My faith was off. I had faith that I alone was and could be the glue holding my family together. Because my faith was off, my walk was off. Because my walk was off and I did not know how to address my emotions (which are God’s ‘red flags’), God stepped in. He gave me the biggest wakeup call of my life.
And this is where my faith began to be tested. (You can read all about this in my previous Facebook notes or ask me about me about it if you have no read them or do not have access to them.)
Now, don’t get me wrong. My parents are not monsters and I do not blame them for what has happened. Their marriage is far from perfect and I have seen some things that no child should ever see. I’m sure we all have, have we not? Our parents have all screwed us up and we are bound to screw up our children. We are imperfect, full of flaws. We fight, scream, get angry, get even, and do things we surely regret. But you know what? I have learned some of the most valuable lessons and because of my past, I am proud to say that I will have the God-given privilege to counsel marriages, children of broken homes, singles in search of something more, and who knows what else!
The only person I can control is myself. I am learning that. Those of you who know me well can testify that I am a control freak. I know it, so I won’t even deny it! My whole life has been an attempt to micromanage people and control situations well beyond my right and ability to control.
Last month there was a period of a few days in which my father was stressed out with the piling medical bills and lack of work. He lash out and displaced his anger on me when I didn’t do a chore on his timeline or jokingly say something that for which he wasn’t in the mood. I knew well enough that I did not do anything to deserve such treatment and that it was a result of his circumstances. It is hard, though, when the person doesn’t acknowledge their behavior and apologize. So, for that time I tried to stay out of his way and keep my mouth shut. In my efforts, he would tell me to stop moping and get happy.
I consequently relapsed in symptoms because I let circumstances beyond my control dictate my emotional well being and happiness. I believed that if I behaved a certain way, it would put him in a better mood and thus my stress would go away. I could not seem to shake it off the circumstances. I was making the desire for peace in the house my goal.
So, as of the present time, I am learning and separating my Godly Desires from Godly Goals. I am letting God use my current situation, which is I believe is partially if not entirely the result of a wrong goal, as a “…catalyst for achieving [His] goal for [my] life, which is [my] sanctification.” I am focusing on becoming the person God called me to be because that is the only thing independent from other people and circumstances.
I encourage you to do the same. Whenever you feel angry, anxious, or depressed, reevaluate your situation. Are you trying to control things that depend upon other people and the outcome of situations? Are you elevating Godly Desires to Godly Goals? Are your desires and goals Godly to begin with?
Let me close with a few verses from the Bible. These both showed up (in the same order) in Victory Over the Darkness and another book I opened randomly for the first time that night called The Peacemaker by Ken Sande.
“We also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perserveereance; and perseverance, proven character, and proven character, hope,; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 3:3-5)
“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4)
“The word “exult” means heightened joy. TO be under tribulation means to be under pressure, and perseverance means to remain under pressure. Persevering through tribulations results in proven character, which is God’s goal for us.”
Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:5 that “The goal of our instruction is love.” “Notice that if you make that your goal, then the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy (instead of depression), peace (instead of anxiety) and patience (instead of anger)….”
And with that, I am finished…for now, anyway. =]
All praises to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords who was, is, and is to come.
