It's hopeless...:(

[Avocado]

[MENTION=18694]Magic Qwan[/MENTION]

Please don't let The Irritating Great One confuse you. Especially since he's mistyped...and honestly, more of a classically-expressed e7 than you and I combined (we will see how e9 integration works out for him . )

If you find it helpful in anyway... when I first came to this site and the enneagram...I was experiencing a great deal of post-trauma stuff as well and self-typed as a 6w7. And then I decided to educate myself

edit: I should say though MQ...please do what feels right to you. Don't be swayed by me either would be my advice. Look at the core fears... and see where you fit.

Ok…

 

[Avocado]

^^Okay did you get those two things done?

I have turned this over so many times in my mind and I still can't come up with an explanation that 'feels right' to me so to speak... but there are some e7s that form an unhealthy connection to e5 fairly early on in life. I mean, there are some e7s that never will...that will never establish a connection to e5 period whether it be stressful or by way of integration. Like, I'm thinking of my ESTP 7w8 uncle right now <-he's the 'classic' e7...the image of what enters most people's minds when they think of e7...the person you want to hate but find you can't because they are just so unbelievably charming... This uncle of mine will never know e5...and will only be forced into 'sobriety' by aging (but he won't even know this occurring because everything in life is just always awesome.)

I think it's pretty clear that depression is a major contributing factor in this early, unhealthy connection to e5. Hardship... Possibly e4 in a person's tritype...idk. I myself was somewhere in between for years. Like we were discussing in a different thread you created regarding spacing-out... I was the typical e7 optimist...so much so that I didn't understand what I was not processing emotionally...and subsequently these things presented themselves physically instead. But I definitely had my moments of unhealthy e5. Spontaneously losing it because of all the pain and suffering in the world. Giving up. Embracing nihilism. Embracing nihilism until something *magical* brought me back to "LIFE IS AMAZING!!!111"

^^This is what I see you doing MQ. You're just WAY more of a rapid-cycler than I was but I believe you can make this work in your favor. If you can learn this now...you won't go a long time with the rose colored glasses like I did. Actually...I will eventually advise you to keep the rose colored glasses on tbh...but to always remain mindful of wearing them. But I'm going to take another break here....I will return to this.

Can you give me another hint? I'm down again.

Everytime I try to help somebody do something, I either break something or make the situation worse. It makes me wonder if I'll ever be good enough to work if everything I touch breaks…

 

[Starry]

Can you give me another hint? I'm down again.

Everytime I try to help somebody do something, I either break something or make the situation worse. It makes me wonder if I'll ever be good enough to work if everything I touch breaks…

Did you see... I created an entire thread...inspired in part by you.

 

[Qre:us]

Dum spiro spero (While I breathe, I hope)

I kind of want to hug you, OP. You remind me of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. And I do hope you're getting some help from someone (someone in your RL that you can speak to? A therapist?)

 

[Ginkgo]

There is nothing but pain, misery, sadness, and suffering in the world. In all honesty, and I can say this after observation, things will never improve--rather, they will worsen. Life has no meaning, and there is no reason to pursue meaning. All that man endeavors to do is futile in the eyes of the universe. Man toils all day in the hot sun, just to return to dust the following night. The universe will eventually end, and there will be no record of any of us.

Does anybody care about any of this?

They don't.

Humans would rather be cruel to each other and injure each other than aid each other. This planet is nothing but a boiling cesspool of crime and villainy, there are no redeeming qualities. All that awaits humankind is a black pit of nothingness. Why even care about anything?

I have spent my life in so much pain, and I am truly aware that it has been in vain.

All hope is lost...

I've felt like that.

But then there's this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wabi-sabi