Chimerical
Permabanned
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2008
- Messages
- 898
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 1w5
Mother cuts me off. Tells me I'm backtalking!
This is the focal point of every problem I've ever had. I used to say the last time I was truely happy was when I was 9.
I wanted a younger sibling so much, didn't think my friends liked me. I get that Sibling and my mom tells me I'm trying to do bad things everytime I doing just the opposite. All I understand is that I have to honor my mother and father because the bible said so.
Now we moved. No more Meredith. We live in a house next to an openly racist family. Farmland, I can't roam the neighborhood for friends.
I found a friend.
Stuck with him. Homeschool. No one to talk to. I play videogames. There was megaman. He was nice, volunteered to save people. So I keep playing, I found a friend :].
Initiating Logic.
In the school room there's a book. Dad says it's very very important. It's the root of all learning. It's LOGIC! hmm... I don't have a choice here, my dad says so. But I discover if you talk logically people leave you alone, more time to play megaman :].
Highschool.
I've got a default expression. It's a smile. I'm going to public school! I'm happyish. Then michelle Happened. So sad to not be liked, damn hormones! Eventually I learn that BEING logical, not just speaking it, helps with depression. By the end of school I was an INTJ :[, but not really. I was 18.
The e-mail.
I'm 23. Celia sends me an E-Mail saying I'm an INTJ. It sounds like me. But it feels wrong. I've felt chained up for years at this point.
Now.
I've read about it and researched. I'm no intj, I'm an ENFP! A very broken one. I need to stand up and be me! The INTJ's I've met were great people, content with themselves in their own way but not like me. Why? I often asked.
I know people like me, but I still feel that implanted insecurity at times. I love to talk to people, but I still let the chains bind me at times.
I'm just now learning how to be me. I'm happy more often than not. It's work, but worth it :].
This is the focal point of every problem I've ever had. I used to say the last time I was truely happy was when I was 9.
I wanted a younger sibling so much, didn't think my friends liked me. I get that Sibling and my mom tells me I'm trying to do bad things everytime I doing just the opposite. All I understand is that I have to honor my mother and father because the bible said so.
Now we moved. No more Meredith. We live in a house next to an openly racist family. Farmland, I can't roam the neighborhood for friends.
I found a friend.
Stuck with him. Homeschool. No one to talk to. I play videogames. There was megaman. He was nice, volunteered to save people. So I keep playing, I found a friend :].
Initiating Logic.
In the school room there's a book. Dad says it's very very important. It's the root of all learning. It's LOGIC! hmm... I don't have a choice here, my dad says so. But I discover if you talk logically people leave you alone, more time to play megaman :].
Highschool.
I've got a default expression. It's a smile. I'm going to public school! I'm happyish. Then michelle Happened. So sad to not be liked, damn hormones! Eventually I learn that BEING logical, not just speaking it, helps with depression. By the end of school I was an INTJ :[, but not really. I was 18.
The e-mail.
I'm 23. Celia sends me an E-Mail saying I'm an INTJ. It sounds like me. But it feels wrong. I've felt chained up for years at this point.
Now.
I've read about it and researched. I'm no intj, I'm an ENFP! A very broken one. I need to stand up and be me! The INTJ's I've met were great people, content with themselves in their own way but not like me. Why? I often asked.
I know people like me, but I still feel that implanted insecurity at times. I love to talk to people, but I still let the chains bind me at times.
I'm just now learning how to be me. I'm happy more often than not. It's work, but worth it :].
