[ISTP] ISTP Relationship User Guide

[kendoiwan]

^^^ +1

Someone once said about me, "you use people to talk about things, but sometimes people think you're using things to talk about them. That's where the miscommunication occurs."

 

[Fecal McAngry]

Rand Paul is an ISTP. It's interesting to see how his appeal and his stumbles reflect his ISTPness and are very different from those of his INFJ dad...

Rand Paul Defends Discrimination Remarks

 

[Poki]

^^^ +1

Someone once said about me, "you use people to talk about things, but sometimes people think you're using things to talk about them. That's where the miscommunication occurs."

Sometimes you are talking about them, just not about them

Ok lets take personality like MBTI. People group themselves based on who they think they are, who they relate to the most. So what happens naturally since there are less type groups then there are people? When you attack one you attack everyone that relates indirectly. In this manner you can attack what someone does or has done, hit someones insecurities, or possibly other things I cant think of right now. As long as you hang out with people you can relate to the most you you wont have any problems as you know what it is you hit because you can relate. How well do you know people outside of yourself though?

 

[Quiet]

It's amazing to me how as an NF, I am so drawn to your type. I've been with an ISTP for 3 years so I know much of this already. However, there's times when I wonder when he will develope his Fe. He is nearly 40. Any ISTP's willing to shed some light on this wonder of mine?!

 

[sLiPpY]

You're about to hit "prime" time. I'm getting so g-damn sweet in my old age.

I really, really, really hate it. :steam:

 

[Quiet]

You're about to hit "prime" time. I'm getting so g-damn sweet in my old age.

I really, really, really hate it. :steam:

haha I'm sure you're just very sweet now this is not bad thing.

 

[jixmixfix]

You're about to hit "prime" time. I'm getting so g-damn sweet in my old age.

I really, really, really hate it. :steam:

don't go soft on me slippy.

 

[miss fortune]

oh... just look at what happens when Fe is your tertiary

<---

 

[kendoiwan]

Sometimes you are talking about them, just not about them

Ok lets take personality like MBTI. People group themselves based on who they think they are, who they relate to the most. So what happens naturally since there are less type groups then there are people? When you attack one you attack everyone that relates indirectly. In this manner you can attack what someone does or has done, hit someones insecurities, or possibly other things I cant think of right now. As long as you hang out with people you can relate to the most you you wont have any problems as you know what it is you hit because you can relate. How well do you know people outside of yourself though?

You did that on purpose!!!

 

[Heinel]

^^^ +1

Someone once said about me, "you use people to talk about things, but sometimes people think you're using things to talk about them. That's where the miscommunication occurs."

^ I think I just had that happened

 

[kendoiwan]

^ I think I just had that happened

I know this has happened when the reaction to what I said is disproportionate to the meaning of the conversation for me. The more I feel like the more I know it's happened.

 

[kendoiwan]

A common, recurring pitfall in communication with an ISTP is that the combination of perceived aloofness and the expectation to know what seems to be obvious to the ISTP can create a pressure to perform that causes someone's disposition to crumble and impedes communication. Being such a common occurrence, the ISTP becomes annoyed at an inefficiency which they are unable to resolve as well as the assumptions about their attitude that they feel unfairly tread upon their identity which they wish to accurately portray. This annoyance exacerbates and reinforces the other person's initial assumption. This puts the ISTP in a difficult social position where the only comfortable option is avoidance. If an ISTP does not develop a friendly vibe and a better awareness of their own presence they will most likely end up what most other people consider to be a loner. For another person to reverse this tread, they must understand that this is unintended no matter how much it tends to expose the other person's insecurities and to communicate with them in simple terms, with honesty any directness of intention.

QFT

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

 

[Poki]

You did that on purpose!!!

I cant help it

 

[HerrDoktor]

Is telling an ISTP that you've been reading about their personality type a good way to make them uncomfortable? Haha, I would guess it would be, maybe even for most types... but I'm not sure. I think I will keep it to myself for now though.

Nah, maybe some types (especially NF I think) would get some understanding in our need for space and how we "process" emotions.
But that works the other way around too.

Wouldn't make me feel uncomfortable anyway .

 

[woolgatherer]

Nah, maybe some types (especially NF I think) would get some understanding in our need for space and how we "process" emotions.
But that works the other way around too.

Wouldn't make me feel uncomfortable anyway .

Yes it's helped me a lot to get a better understanding. So many things that people in the forums say are common for ISTPs to do early in relationships would normally make a person think that they can't be that interested. I still don't know what the ISTP I'm thinking of feels though.

 

[Poki]

I know this has happened when the reaction to what I said is disproportionate to the meaning of the conversation for me. The more I feel like the more I know it's happened.

 

[kendoiwan]

I'm amazed at how something innocuous to me causes a shitstorm. On FB I once put as my status the hook of a particular song I like. Random as hell right? A pal got offended because he felt it was directed at him.

 

[lalangela]

I broke it off with my ISTP a few days ago. His ex contacted me and forwarded me a few emails that he had been sending to her. They were friendly emails to "catch up," but she claimed that he had done this with his ex while dating her also. She said it was his way of getting close to her which is completely unacceptable because he was in a relationship. Then, she took the time to convince me on the phone that he had treated her horribly the one year that they were together.

I confronted the ISTP, and believed him when he said that they were just friendly emails. I even saw them myself and there was nothing wrong. However, being the ENFJ that I am, I overreacted and started questioning his past relationship. I tried to be understanding but I lost it when he said that his ex and I are eerily similar and that he didn't feel any different this time around. In other words, I would go through the same thing because he doesn't change for anyone.

Problem is that I had changed for him, I became more accepting of his habits which included disappearing for a few days to be by himself. I made his shortcomings work for me. To this, he answered that I was overlooking his flaws and this gave him the idea that he could do "whatever the fuck I wanted." He said he was looking for someone who would threaten to leave him if he ever fucked something up.

Is something that all ISTPs look for in relationships?

 

[Bamboo]

. To this, he answered that I was overlooking his flaws and this gave him the idea that he could do "whatever the fuck I wanted." He said he was looking for someone who would threaten to leave him if he ever fucked something up.

Is something that all ISTPs look for in relationships?

I'm having trouble understanding your post.

Is your question: Do ISTPs look for/desire someone who would threaten to leave them if they "fucked something up?"

In other words, someone who will look out for their own needs and keep the ISTP in check with notification that their behavior is undesirable?



Assuming that is your question, then yes, I find it desirable for people to communicate with me clearly if I'm doing something they don't like and who will be someone who has their own idea of what they really want and won't just stay around me because of their emotional attachments, but because we actually benefit each other in some mutual way.

That said, I don't want to be "threatened" with a break up. It should just be acknowledged that if two people don't work then it's inevitable that they will fall out of being in a relationship.

 

[lalangela]

He did benefit me, but I guess I had trouble showing him that I wasn't validating my emotional attachment. Was it wrong for me to call him out on a past relationship when those things hadn't happened with us (yet) ?