Voygazer
King of Madness
- Joined
- May 27, 2017
- Messages
- 299
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 5w6
- Instinctual Variant
- so/sx
Alright, so I know you might guys tell me to take a sort of questionnaire to get typed, but I have taken them million times and they arent really helped me, since they are quite limiting about what you generaly want to write about yourself and generaly make it feel like the way I fill questionnaires in a disningenious ways.
So to start off, I have the ability to read other's emotions, this lets me know what others feel and absorb their feelings strongly. This gives me the ability to read other's intentions and feel the emotional atmosphere in the room, this allows me to have gut feelings whether something is good or bad gonna happen, allowing me to asses the situation intuitively. This comes with a terrible cost though; the ability to read other's emotions also allows me to read what others think logicaly, especialy when it comes what others personaly think about me, so this makes me increasingly paranoid and sensitive to other's personal opinions, even if It's not intention to offend. It tends to show up in either 2 ways; Either I would become very vulnerable, become reactive and oversensitive, or I would avoid reacting at all and just avoid showing my own weaknesses.
Consistently through my life, my values very usualy based on what others tell me to believe, this usualy includes my parents, culture, school teachers, you get the point. While I deeply held their values, morals and teachings, later on I started questioning then, becoming more defiant in the proccess, and this leads to this;
When I reached my teens age, I started to become more self-focused. Generaly speaking when I was young I didnt care about my identity and how others would preceive me, as I was just focused on what I was enjoyed doing, but as I grew up, I become more conscious of how others preceive me or think of me, I started to care more about my appearance by picking appropriate clothes, developing my own style (Basicaly peacocking), becoming more competitive, more conscious of my talents and flaws, and I was very focused on myself and at the same time also on impressing others. With this, I didnt allow imperfections, I didnt allow myself to show weakness, but this made me extremely prone to becoming vulnerable and feel like I'm being weak, that I'm not perfect, that I'm a failure, that I'm not good enough, this made me think in the proccess that others will think of me as worthless, that nobody will care about me.
I'm also very prone to inflexibility, I'm very focused on organising and planning this so things would go the way I want it to be, this makes me terrible at improvising, since opening up to new stuff leads to basicaly dropping away what I planned and thus abandoning the thing I wanted to do or get. Generaly speaking, I just hate improvising when It's required, when there is no other choice.
So to start off, I have the ability to read other's emotions, this lets me know what others feel and absorb their feelings strongly. This gives me the ability to read other's intentions and feel the emotional atmosphere in the room, this allows me to have gut feelings whether something is good or bad gonna happen, allowing me to asses the situation intuitively. This comes with a terrible cost though; the ability to read other's emotions also allows me to read what others think logicaly, especialy when it comes what others personaly think about me, so this makes me increasingly paranoid and sensitive to other's personal opinions, even if It's not intention to offend. It tends to show up in either 2 ways; Either I would become very vulnerable, become reactive and oversensitive, or I would avoid reacting at all and just avoid showing my own weaknesses.
Consistently through my life, my values very usualy based on what others tell me to believe, this usualy includes my parents, culture, school teachers, you get the point. While I deeply held their values, morals and teachings, later on I started questioning then, becoming more defiant in the proccess, and this leads to this;
When I reached my teens age, I started to become more self-focused. Generaly speaking when I was young I didnt care about my identity and how others would preceive me, as I was just focused on what I was enjoyed doing, but as I grew up, I become more conscious of how others preceive me or think of me, I started to care more about my appearance by picking appropriate clothes, developing my own style (Basicaly peacocking), becoming more competitive, more conscious of my talents and flaws, and I was very focused on myself and at the same time also on impressing others. With this, I didnt allow imperfections, I didnt allow myself to show weakness, but this made me extremely prone to becoming vulnerable and feel like I'm being weak, that I'm not perfect, that I'm a failure, that I'm not good enough, this made me think in the proccess that others will think of me as worthless, that nobody will care about me.
I'm also very prone to inflexibility, I'm very focused on organising and planning this so things would go the way I want it to be, this makes me terrible at improvising, since opening up to new stuff leads to basicaly dropping away what I planned and thus abandoning the thing I wanted to do or get. Generaly speaking, I just hate improvising when It's required, when there is no other choice.