[MBTI General] ISFJ Females vs. ISTJ Females

[Shadow]

Shadow: My best friend from high school is an ISTJ. Running around at night scaring druggies and drunks was one of our favourite activities.

Yeah, that sounds really fun! I actually feel most alive when I'm going 'crazy', in the dark, on a night out, with lots of cool people and good music (if there is any). It's especially fun when you're abroad.*sigh* Doesn't happen enough at the moment, I should change that. My best friend at school was an ISFP. When we were together we lost sight of reality.
Maybe ISTJs need hyper-stimulation, and then we can take it too far. It's like facial expressions: I either look bored or insane apparently.

 

[Snow Turtle]

ISFJ - Prone to becoming emo and apathetic.
ISTJ - Less likely to do so.

ISTJs seem to be more self-oriented than ISFJs, they're more concerned about having things set out right which can be family issues. Most FJ users will be concerned about the harmony. This also means they are more likely to be concentrating on these issues.

 

[runvardh]

Yeah, that sounds really fun! I actually feel most alive when I'm going 'crazy', in the dark, on a night out, with lots of cool people and good music (if there is any). It's especially fun when you're abroad.*sigh* Doesn't happen enough at the moment, I should change that. My best friend at school was an ISFP. When we were together we lost sight of reality.
Maybe ISTJs need hyper-stimulation, and then we can take it too far. It's like facial expressions: I either look bored or insane apparently.

Ever went out at night into a forested park and played mind games on a group of drunks headed home from a party? My friend did one Halloween night, manipulated what trails the people took by setting up stick men from the Blair Witch Project. They never saw him, but he scared them good.

ISFJ - Prone to becoming emo and apathetic.
ISTJ - Less likely to do so.

ISTJs seem to be more self-oriented than ISFJs, they're more concerned about having things set out right which can be family issues. Most FJ users will be concerned about the harmony. This also means they are more likely to be concentrating on these issues.

Yeah, I could care less about harmony... I figure there are enough people in my family to worry about that for me and are decently direct with me on it and can accept my reasons when I explain what I'm after.

 

[Snow Turtle]

There's some misconception on what exactly is harmony. I see that FJs can sometimes be blamed for hiding the truth in order to protect someones feelings etc. But it's possible for mature Fe users to realise that lies produce more harm in the long run, it's just a case of delivering truth in a way that is acceptable.

Being blunt doesn't work all the time because some people can't accept things. In arguments I've always sided with the person that is right, but I'm also concerned about the person who is upset. It becomes a case of waiting for the upset person to settle down and then reason with them. It's not as if FJs don't care about who is right. They do, but it's realised that people aren't logical and trying to ram down truth in general doesn't work.

 

[runvardh]

Eh, I know about not logical, I just find it harder to locate the mature FJs, they're all 40-50 years older than me.

 

[Snow Turtle]

Eh, I know about not logical, I just find it harder to locate the mature FJs, they're all 40-50 years older than me.

Sorry the end wasn't really directed towards you so much. I was just writing down an explanation as to why an FJ might not be so focused on what's right, but more interested in soothing someone first. I never doubted that you didn't understand this, most feelers do grasp this pretty quickly using themselves an example. The understanding that emotions don't always make sense...

 

[runvardh]

Sorry the end wasn't really directed towards you so much. I was just writing down an explanation as to why an FJ might not be so focused on what's right, but more interested in soothing someone first. I never doubted that you didn't understand this, most feelers do grasp this pretty quickly using themselves an example. The understanding that emotions don't always make sense...

Yeah, I just find it next to impossible to find mature Fs IRL that are within 10 years of my age. It's somewhat annoying, really...

 

[d@v3]

Being blunt FTW! Anyway, Eiddy brought up a good point, which tends to be more shy, the S or the F? I know there are A LOT of variables, but try to answer the best you can.

Also, Runvardh> You said you would probably find them at movie theaters and stuff. Well, what about libraries and places like that? I mean, I am talking about a University environment.

 

[runvardh]

Being blunt FTW! Anyway, Eiddy brought up a good point, which tends to be more shy, the S or the F? I know there are A LOT of variables, but try to answer the best you can.

Also, Runvardh> You said you would probably find them at movie theaters and stuff. Well, what about libraries and places like that? I mean, I am talking about a University environment.

I said nothing about the movie theaters, just real life people I deal with. I'm also starting into a new group of people so I'm hoping that will change. It's just that most of my experiences up till now has been that T women have been easier for me to deal with than F women when it comes to the ones in my generation. Most of the Fs on here kind of give me some hope though.

 

[d@v3]

Haha I know what you mean! I am moving in a month and I will be dumped into a HUGE group of people that I don't know, so that is mainly why I am asking for all the tips I can use. I think the F women are more fun to deal with, at least, in my experience they are. But even the T's that have a close T/F border are easy to talk to, I mean, they are likable. The hardcore T's on the other hand, are kind of tough. =(

 

[Eiddy]

I tend to think feelers place people first and thinkers place facts and data first. Although thinkers have to take feelings into account at times also. I mean they are human afterall; on the other hand, I can't see a feeler type going around with out thinking. Could you imagine how many doors we would hit into both literally and figuratively speaking? lol

On a side note I think feelers of almost any type might be a bit easier to deal with as they gauge what they do or say according to other humans involved in the interaction. Thinkers do this also, but they can be more blunt about it, if they really don't care or wish to use their thinking type as a crutch for not being more tactful about it. Either way I think we all tend to use one or the other to various degrees. It might just depend on the objective desired.

 

[runvardh]

I prefer blunt, so much time spent wondering where I stand it's nice to know what's going on. I also found that with F girls I never seemed to express enough or too much would be expected of me. The one T girl I dated gave enough of the emotion and gave me a chance to mope before helping me solve the problem. I guess I want a partner in crime, not extra baggage which is hard to find in the 20 - 28 range of Fs where I'm at right now.

 

[Giggly]

The ISTJ girl that I know (my cousin) doesn't fake Fe at all.
Between here and the one ISFJ I know irl, here are some of the differences I notice:

1. The ISTJ I know is pretty stoic usually (her two extremes are "Relatively Cheery" and "Sulking"), which the ISFJ is pretty moody (her two extremes are "ROTFL" and "Completely Emo").
2. The ISTJ's humor is pretty dark - more so than the ISFJ's.
3. The ISTJ isn't as likely to care what people think of her. I get the impression from the ISFJ that she'd do almost anything for the acceptance of her peers.
4. The ISTJ is very, very blunt. Not as much with the ISFJ, unless it's a sensitive topic.

I agree with this.