B
brainheart
Guest
However, I do feel a strong pull towards SP as well... but maybe I'm confusing this with my mbti (being an introvert) and being an e4 (need for identity). The reason I believe that SP is very much me, also, is because whenever I'm overly involved in a relationship or even just spend too much time with friends, I tend to feel as though I become super merged with them. In romantic relationships, I do love that aspect. I am definitely a romantic and yearn for a deep and meaningful and unique relationship with a soul mate. However, when actually in a romantic relationship, and though I love feeling in love... I also start to feel an identity crisis... feel as though I lose myself in the relationship. I then become torn between wanting to remain in love and wanting to escape and be completely independent of the relationship. This is why I so often withdraw, because it is when I withdraw from others that I feel most myself. I've been single for the past year, and though I continue to yearn to be in a relationship and find myself with many crushes... I also know that this year has been the most stable for me. And it's because I've been alone and been able to reconnect with myself. This is why I originally thought I was more SX/SP. But I do definitely have that pull towards not coming off as a freak in the public eye. I also overanalyze my interactions with others. So, I just remain torn on what I think of these instincts.
With my example earlier, you said you believe that it was SX and SO at play... but perhaps with SO a bit more strongly? Would this imply, simply from the one example, that you believe me to be more SO, so far?
Well whatever you've got going on, it's pretty similar to me...
Yes we all access our variants at different times, depending on what we need when we need it. I guess it's which ones you use most frequently which define your type. But the thing is, this has varied for me at different times in my life, depending on what my primary need is. I think that's what is so confusing. For example, I just started taking a drawing class this week. And when I am working on art, or any type of creative expression, my SP four becomes very strong- I lose track of time, all of my focus goes into my art. I could care less what's going on socially, who else is in the room, etc. I just want to create. But... as far as my life goes, big picture-wise, I would not jeopardize my relationships for the sake of my art. Also, I am very erratic when it comes to my creativity; it comes in fits and bursts. So that leads me to believe I can't be SP dominant.
I think that's how you determine what's dominant- you look for the general themes throughout your life, and what you find you tend to focus on, work on the most. Conversely, in what ways do you seem to be deficient- what do you wish you were stronger at, but you have difficulty sustaining your focus on, long-term? Chances are that's the lowest rung on your variants.
This is my interpretation; I'm really not sure it's accurate.