[INFP] INFPs and facial expressions

[Eckhart]

Hey,

I saw a thread which dealt with facial expressions of INTPs, so I wanted to create one too for INFPs! Although I have different motivations than the OP of the INTP-thread had. I guess the thread can be about what the title says in general, but I also have some questions for my own.

I know when I was smaller, and especially as a younger teenager, I didn't show that much facial expression, barely any actually. I didn't smile much, and if, then it was usually a very small one. However over the years I developed more and more my facial expressions, and now I smile more freely when I am trying to be friendly to people or having fun, although often it is still a bit shy smile I am not sure why that changed, or why it wasn't like that before already, I wonder if it was just because I was back then much more shy than now, or if it is because I am more conscious about my emotional side nowadays than back then. Did it develop for you other INFPs in a similar way?

On the other hand I heard even back then a few times that people can see very easily by my eyes how I feel. I read also sometimes that INFPs are kinda "supposed" to have some specific, typical shy smile and also heard of specific "INFP eyes" I don't know what to think about it, but did you hear similar? What do you think is special about INFP eyes and smiles? I know my teacher always made comments about my smile. Also heard I would have nice eyes, but well, maybe people were just being nice to me.

 

[Serenes]

Well, as I child.. I remember I was Very expressive (but this was only around people I felt comfortable) like I'd have a gigantic smile, and make wacky faces often. Around strangers, my face was just bleh, normal I guess? Around them, I wasn't as openly expressive and if they tried to get a reaction from me, I'd be embarrassed or just give the 'shy smile' -nods-. This was pretty consistent throughout my life as I got older. In middle-highschool, I think I looked very stand-offish maybe... one time a girl I hardly knew told me that I Never seemed to smile and always looked sad?? or like I had a neutral look on my face. I was very surprised by this... and after that, I tried to be more aware and started learning how to smile more and such. (I guess you can say fake smiling lol). So now, I probably appear friendly enough with a content look when I'm keeping to myself or smiling in a group of people if I want to appear involved. With friends though, it's not forced..... so my facial expressions are full blown lol and there's a lot of range to it. Whatever I'm feeling, especially good emotions, it can be largely read on my face... I just let all the good emotions out to be seen by friends, so I'd be all bouncy/light up/have a huge smile, grabbing my tummy while laughing so hard and just falling over etc. I don't really hold back.

Ummm.. so yeah I guess I was similar.. I didn't smile much either and had to learn/force myself to do it more. I just was never really aware (because I smiled a lot with friends and such.. just not with other people maybe). I think my 'shy smile' was just smiling with no teeth showing (instead of a full smile.. kinda like I'm holding back). I'm not so sure about the eyes .. no one really ever commented on my eyes before because -.- I have the normal boring brown colored eyes lol. But people have commented a lot on how I look very innocent, nice and such before.

 

[SpankyMcFly]

You can break down comments about my facial expressions into two groups.

The first group has always come from coworkers. I have been told on more than a few occasions that I am very even tempered, neutral expression and calm. My jobs have been very stressful and require that I be an ESTJ, as such I always have my shields up and radar on.

The second group has come from people I know well and from relative strangers. I've been told that I am very expressive, animated and I speak with my hands frequently. I've also even been told a few times that I should be an actor *rolls eyes* (oh hell no).

I take pride in the former types of comments and as for the later, well most of the time I take it as a compliment, but there are situations when I really don't want to broadcast how I'm feeling but apparently I end up doing it anyway *grumble*.

 

[nolla]

I think I have sort of a welcoming expression if random people talk to me, and sometimes maybe a bit disoriented, if they caught me off guard. If I know the people I am rather expressive, I can't really control my laughter at all, so there must be people who think I'm retard or something. Many people seem to like it, though... Well, at least it is genuine laughter... If I know you really well, I don't keep to only real expressions, then I will start to use these fake expressions as a part of telling a story, but I have to know you well enough so that I know you will interpret them correctly.

But, usually I think you could read my eyes pretty well.

 

[Synapse]

When I try to smile it almost looks like a smirk.

 

[CrystalViolet]

I'm told I'm very animated, and yeah I have a laugh that kinda booms (very infectious I'm told). Both a complete stranger and a co worker when she first started told me I had the eyes of a soul reader. The co-worker said I was like her son, and his eyes were unmistakable.
I'm not so animated when people don't know me though. I try to blend in.

 

[Eckhart]

The responses so far are interesting Especially about the laughing, because that I also heard a few times already that INFPs can be very lighthearted with their laugh. Cannot say the same about me in that regard, I am rather cautious with my laughing most of the time, though sometimes I have to giggle again when all others have long time stopped it and carried on with something else and sometimes I get odd looks for that, lol, that is sometimes a bit emberassing.

And Serenes, I don't find brown eyes all boring if that helps! I remember that one girl who had brown eyes too, and they were really intriguing.

 

[Serenes]

The responses so far are interesting Especially about the laughing, because that I also heard a few times already that INFPs can be very lighthearted with their laugh. Cannot say the same about me in that regard, I am rather cautious with my laughing most of the time, though sometimes I have to giggle again when all others have long time stopped it and carried on with something else and sometimes I get odd looks for that, lol, that is sometimes a bit emberassing.

And Serenes, I don't find brown eyes all boring if that helps! I remember that one girl who had brown eyes too, and they were really intriguing.

Yeahhh I can relate! I can laugh so easily.. and even when the joke is already done and everyone had their share of the laugh... I just keep giggling to myself nonstop at times and they all look at me like I'm weird/crazy or find that amusing. I think I laugh very easily, since I sort of find humor in almost anything..... if you can't make me laugh, then you must not be very funny at all XD..

haha thank you Eckhart! .. kinda random but once I posted a pic of myself on a typology forum, and most people typed me as xNFP. It was very surprising. They said my expression/smile looked lively & extroverted but at the same time had a reserved kindness to it or something like that.

 

[Coeur]

I can be extremely unexpressive if I'm still uncomfortable around you. I "forget" to smile or emote because I'm so focused on what I'm going to say next. XD Lately, I've gotten better, and smile A LOT whenever I'm approached, probably more than the norm. If I'm really comfortable around you, my facial expressions are over the top to overcompensate for the times that I'm stoic. I'm always somewhat self-conscious when I'm "out of my head."

I used to feel like I had a mask. If I was feeling something strongly, nobody would notice, OR they would completely misinterpret it, but lately I feel as if people can see straight through me. If I'm upset, they ask, "Are you okay? you had this... melancholy expression on your face." And so forth. Doing drama has made showing emotion feel less scary.

As far as laughing, I laugh a lot, but it can be guarded. In regards to the shy smile, I have it. If some unfamilliar person looks at me, I have a "nervous" smile, not a friendly "I'm reaching out to you" smile.

 

[nolla]

Do you guys laugh to yourself when no one's around? I sometimes think about something funny and feel like laughing, but then I realize I am walking on the street and people would think I'm nuts... Then I spend the next five minutes trying to put that idea out of my head.

 

[Eckhart]

Yes nolla, I have to control myself hard sometimes to not just suddenly start giggling in the middle of the street because I thought of something funny. The smile I cannot control though

 

[Serenes]

Yes nolla, I have to control myself hard sometimes to not just suddenly start giggling in the middle of the street because I thought of something funny. The smile I cannot control though

-nods in agreement- ..there were times I couldn't contain myself while thinking of something very funny/happy, that I had a Huge smile spread across my face. A friend looked at me and thought I was being crazy XD, they're like... "What are you smiling for?? creeeepy.. just suddenly smiling out of nowhere lol. You're weird."

 

[jtanSis1]

people don't like it when I'm enthusiastic for no reason, like I have to be at a party or something to be myself. surprises even EP's, since I think they are always trying to be at a party, so are down when they are not. but for me it's like I'm partying only outside of parties, cause it gets too wild then, and I just want to enjoy the feeling.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I can be extremely unexpressive if I'm still uncomfortable around you. I "forget" to smile or emote because I'm so focused on what I'm going to say next. XD Lately, I've gotten better, and smile A LOT whenever I'm approached, probably more than the norm. If I'm really comfortable around you, my facial expressions are over the top to overcompensate for the times that I'm stoic. I'm always somewhat self-conscious when I'm "out of my head."

I used to feel like I had a mask. If I was feeling something strongly, nobody would notice, OR they would completely misinterpret it, but lately I feel as if people can see straight through me. If I'm upset, they ask, "Are you okay? you had this... melancholy expression on your face." And so forth. Doing drama has made showing emotion feel less scary.

As far as laughing, I laugh a lot, but it can be guarded. In regards to the shy smile, I have it. If some unfamilliar person looks at me, I have a "nervous" smile, not a friendly "I'm reaching out to you" smile.

I can relate to this. I find it easy to fall into daydreaming & thinking, and apparently the neutral face I have while doing this makes people think I am unhappy, upset, not having fun, etc (something like this: haha). It is very tiresome to constantly be told to smile; I don't notice everyone else with an idiotic smile plastered to their face 100% of the time. I'm just not aware enough of my face/body to always be expressing the "right" feeling.

I DO make a more conscious effort to smile now though. I wouldn't call it a shy smile, but a nervous smile, yes. If I catch someone's eye, this smile is now reflexive just to ward off the "what's wrong" questions and to avoid being labeled a snob.

When I was younger, I could hide emotion very well also, and I still can if it suits me, but I'm more comfortable with it now. My eyes tend to give me away, as that is one aspect I can't seem to control.

BTW - "INFP eyes" tends to mean a dreamy, faroff look in the eye.

You can break down comments about my facial expressions into two groups. The first group has always come from coworkers. I have been told on more than a few occasions that I am very even tempered, neutral expression and calm.

This is sort of my default face also. I think when you're a woman though, a calm, neutral face is read more negatively by others. People expect women to be more expressive.

The second group has come from people I know well and from relative strangers. I've been told that I am very expressive, animated and I speak with my hands frequently.

This is me when I am with people I know well and feel comfortable with and/or when I am engaged in a stimulating conversation. I've been told then I have very expressive face, eyes & hands. Of course, I also feel extremely animated in comparison to my usual reservedness, but to others its sort of "normal" expressiveness.

 

[Southern Kross]

I can be extremely unexpressive if I'm still uncomfortable around you. I "forget" to smile or emote because I'm so focused on what I'm going to say next. XD Lately, I've gotten better, and smile A LOT whenever I'm approached, probably more than the norm. If I'm really comfortable around you, my facial expressions are over the top to overcompensate for the times that I'm stoic. I'm always somewhat self-conscious when I'm "out of my head."

I used to feel like I had a mask. If I was feeling something strongly, nobody would notice, OR they would completely misinterpret it, but lately I feel as if people can see straight through me. If I'm upset, they ask, "Are you okay? you had this... melancholy expression on your face." And so forth. Doing drama has made showing emotion feel less scary.

As far as laughing, I laugh a lot, but it can be guarded. In regards to the shy smile, I have it. If some unfamilliar person looks at me, I have a "nervous" smile, not a friendly "I'm reaching out to you" smile.

I can relate to this. I find it easy to fall into daydreaming & thinking, and apparently the neutral face I have while doing this makes people think I am unhappy, upset, not having fun, etc (something like this: haha). It is very tiresome to constantly be told to smile; I don't notice everyone with an idiotic smile plastered to their face 100% of the time. I'm just not aware enough of my face/body to always be expressing the "right" feeling.

I DO make a more conscious effort to smile now though. I wouldn't call it a shy smile, but a nervous smile, yes. If I catch someone's eye, this smile is now reflexive just to ward off the "what's wrong" questions and to avoid being labeled a snob.

When I was younger, I could hide emotion very well also, and I still can if it suits me, but I'm more comfortable with it now. My eyes tend to give me away, as that is one aspect I can't seem to control.

BTW - "INFP eyes" tends to mean a dreamy, faroff look in the eye.

This is sort of my default face also. I think when you're a woman though, a calm, neutral face is read more negatively by others. People expect women to be more expressive.

Yeah I'm also generally rather expressionless and misread as annoyed/upset/tired/uninterested etc. Most of the time its because I'm daydreaming and so lost in thought, that I lose perception of my body (and of the people around me observing me).

Don't you hate that sexist expectation that women should smile and be cheerful for the benefit of men! I have been told to cheer up and smile on several occasions and I struggled to resist the urge to slap them. I made do with pointedly glaring back...

This is me when I am with people I know well and feel comfortable with and/or when I am engaged in a stimulating conversation. I've been told then I have very expressive face, eyes & hands. Of course, I also feel extremely animated in comparison to my usual reservedness, but to others its sort of "normal" expressiveness.

I also have a similar split in demeanour. When really engaged in a subject of conversation, I get carried away and become rather passionate and expressive. Its like I have 2 modes: daydreaming/passive engagement= blank face, and active engagement= over animated face and body. Its usually pretty easy to tell when I'm talking about the things I really care about or really interest me because I suddenly spring to life.