These are questions for INFP's since we're known to be kind of "stuck" in bad relationships, which are hard to get out of for most of us..
Have any of you ever had this experience?
Yes
Do you look back at it?
Yes
What would you change if you could?
Would have learned earlier about animus projection and also of seeing things that aren't really there.
How have you learned from the situation?
I let Te have a larger voice in the beginning of the dating process, I sat down and made a hardnosed checklist of things I would not accept in man and I told myself no matter what I have to stick to this and I also made a determination to find someone more like me than different from me. Overall it has been far better that way.
I consider myself to be a in good relationship that is undergoing a lot of stress (his job, my chronic illness). There's a difference. Life is not always perfect, esepcially in long term marriage.
Part of a "bad" relationship for an INFP can be due to the lack of asserting their needs until they've become intolerable. Putting too rosy a glow on things that are killing one inside. Until INFP pushes their own agenda in a healthy way (not Te blow ups out of nowhere!), how can they be sure the relationship is really bad at the core or not? Got to be able to say "hey I need this" and negotiate a way to get it that takes both people's natures and needs into account.
EDIT: the worst time I had getting out of a relationship was with a person I knew thought he loved me and loved me as much as he was capable of love, but there was no depth and this person was both sexist and selfish, not open to education or listening or compromise (Yes Dana, that's the one
). He didn't like cats either!
It was very hard to break up, I finally just had to stop answering the phone, let the machine get the calls for a set period of time. The longer I got away from them, the easier it became to not think about them or feel the guilt. They tried hard to recontact me, used guilt, emo blackmail, gifts, mild stalking etc. but I made myself stick to my guns and eventually I lost all softness towards them and felt strong relief.
