Excitant
Inmost Sage
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2018
- Messages
- 69
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 4W5
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
Sorry but this is a duplicate post I first posted in the members only relationship sub forum.
It was not getting any traffic in the sub forum and I'm about to die of a broken heart... So please forgive me for double posting but I will gladly get into trouble to try and save my relationship..
Hey guys,
I'm in dire need of some help. Seriously before I lose her....
So I'm an INFP male and found this amazing INFJ female on a personality forum (not here).
She's 35, I'm 36. We live 4 states and 1800 miles apart from each other.
We started off messaging 2-3 pages at a time to each other progressing to endless text messages and phone calls lasting till 2 in the morning and then on to face time.
We have this insane amount of commonality and interest, from music, our faith, world views (and so much more) our wavelength seems identical to each other in this almost magical way. It's been the most amazing 51 days of my life. I'm not exaggerating this either!!!
It all happened kinda fast and was a little intense. She had flat stated that she liked me early on and me the same. We both also admitted that we found the longing each of us was searching for in one another.
She being the INFJ with those scary forecasting abilities understood every issue that might plague us in a relationship; the only major one she seemed to be concerned about was the distance. She asked me if I'd would be willing to move eventually and If I wasn't then it wouldn't be worth starting this relationship. I gave it serious thought and came to a decision that I would gladly move.
I know what you might think too, but our life circumstances would allow me to move but not her. She has 2 children that still see their dad (long since ex). She is also a established teacher. Me, Having nothing to keep me here other than some not so close family that I could come see once/twice a year for holidays. It's just more practical for me to move. I'd rather live in her town than my big mean city anyway.
So I know she was into me because she kept sending me articles about INFP/INFJ relationship compatibility and harmony as well as INFP only articles and asking questions about me very intensely. (It was so nice) She also kept touching on ideas about a future together; It all seemed so fairy tale like.
She was understanding and responsive to my emotions and I to hers.
Everything seemed great and on track.... Until one night
One night completely out of the blue with zero indication; she stated in a text that she thought everything moved too fast and she wanted to go back to just being friends..
She said she had this feeling like it's what she was supposed to do...
She further stated that she just didn't know how she felt about me all together and that she isn't sure that she wants to be anything more than just friends...
(!?!?!?!?!?!)
My heart literally broke into two pieces as fell and then shattered into a million pieces as it hit the floor. (I haven't stopped crying since it happened)
I told her that I was so so sorry for making her feel pressured or overwhelmed in any way. If it was time she needed or what ever that I would do anything she needed of me.
All I could get from her is that she didn;t have any answers and she didn't know what to say/tell me.
I told her that i would not be able to ever just be friends. Not after what we formed. She made me fall deeply and madly in love with her. A real love. I never said the words I love you to her though. I thought it was too soon for that. This is something I am willing to fight for and go to the ends of the earth for.
Knowing not to push an INFJ too hard, I backed off and haven't spoken to her for two days....
Am I screwed?
Does this mean that we are over? Does she just need time to think things over?
What do I need to do? I will do ANYTHING!!!!!
PLEASE Help!! I am going crazy in agony here
Thanks for listening
It was not getting any traffic in the sub forum and I'm about to die of a broken heart... So please forgive me for double posting but I will gladly get into trouble to try and save my relationship..
Hey guys,
I'm in dire need of some help. Seriously before I lose her....
So I'm an INFP male and found this amazing INFJ female on a personality forum (not here).
She's 35, I'm 36. We live 4 states and 1800 miles apart from each other.
We started off messaging 2-3 pages at a time to each other progressing to endless text messages and phone calls lasting till 2 in the morning and then on to face time.
We have this insane amount of commonality and interest, from music, our faith, world views (and so much more) our wavelength seems identical to each other in this almost magical way. It's been the most amazing 51 days of my life. I'm not exaggerating this either!!!
It all happened kinda fast and was a little intense. She had flat stated that she liked me early on and me the same. We both also admitted that we found the longing each of us was searching for in one another.
She being the INFJ with those scary forecasting abilities understood every issue that might plague us in a relationship; the only major one she seemed to be concerned about was the distance. She asked me if I'd would be willing to move eventually and If I wasn't then it wouldn't be worth starting this relationship. I gave it serious thought and came to a decision that I would gladly move.
I know what you might think too, but our life circumstances would allow me to move but not her. She has 2 children that still see their dad (long since ex). She is also a established teacher. Me, Having nothing to keep me here other than some not so close family that I could come see once/twice a year for holidays. It's just more practical for me to move. I'd rather live in her town than my big mean city anyway.
So I know she was into me because she kept sending me articles about INFP/INFJ relationship compatibility and harmony as well as INFP only articles and asking questions about me very intensely. (It was so nice) She also kept touching on ideas about a future together; It all seemed so fairy tale like.
She was understanding and responsive to my emotions and I to hers.
Everything seemed great and on track.... Until one night
One night completely out of the blue with zero indication; she stated in a text that she thought everything moved too fast and she wanted to go back to just being friends..
She said she had this feeling like it's what she was supposed to do...
She further stated that she just didn't know how she felt about me all together and that she isn't sure that she wants to be anything more than just friends...
(!?!?!?!?!?!)
My heart literally broke into two pieces as fell and then shattered into a million pieces as it hit the floor. (I haven't stopped crying since it happened)
I told her that I was so so sorry for making her feel pressured or overwhelmed in any way. If it was time she needed or what ever that I would do anything she needed of me.
All I could get from her is that she didn;t have any answers and she didn't know what to say/tell me.
I told her that i would not be able to ever just be friends. Not after what we formed. She made me fall deeply and madly in love with her. A real love. I never said the words I love you to her though. I thought it was too soon for that. This is something I am willing to fight for and go to the ends of the earth for.
Knowing not to push an INFJ too hard, I backed off and haven't spoken to her for two days....
Am I screwed?
Does this mean that we are over? Does she just need time to think things over?
What do I need to do? I will do ANYTHING!!!!!
PLEASE Help!! I am going crazy in agony here
Thanks for listening