- Joined
- May 31, 2009
- Messages
- 14,497
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
Infjs, do you find that many of your behaviours and preferences have a lot to do with energy conservation? I hadn't thought about this before, but I think it may be a thing. I'd also be interested in feedback from people in relation ships with infjs or who are very close to one.
I think we don't compartmentalize well, so an emotional drain affects physical energy or wellness and physical takes a lot out of our emotional banks too.
Some examples of where I think I avoid or prefer certain things to conserve energy for a more useful or enjoyable purpose....
- Anticipating future problems of all sorts and going to heroic lengths to avoid them because I'm poor at acting on the fly. I'm not an organizer by nature except if the absence of leadership or organizing causes bigger problems than me taking it on would for me.
- Avoiding committees or other situations that involve group consensus because juggling everyone's wants and needs as well as my own takes more out of me than I get in return out of the experience.
- Over accommodating, not out of naivety or wimpiness, but because it's easier to manage myself rather than deal with other people's negative emotions or behaviours.
- If in doubt, going with what's familiar because I already know how I'll feel about it and how I want to react or respond. That's why I admire people who can get me to try new things. It takes me a long time to even figure out what I feel about something or make connections between my physical reactions and emotions, so unless I know it's going to be worth going out on a limb, I tend to play it safe.
- Becoming very avoidant or indulging Se quick fixes to feel better because dealing with problems where I have little way of affecting the outcome directly or can't see what to do takes too much out of me physically and emotionally.
- Analyzing cost/benefit of confrontation. Many think it's fear, bit i think it's more about conserving energy, at least for me. It's also why if I'm working closely with someone or they are part of my inner circle, they'll hear more of the negative unedited me than casual friends or acquaintances will. There is some degree of calculating social cost (which sounds gross to non Fe people), but it's also that the more entwined someone's life is with mine, the more it's worth it to try to communicate more completely. With others I wouldn't be inauthentic, but I would probably be quiet or disengage more if I couldn't find points of commonality.
- Disengaging with people who cause a lot of drama in the environment around them, or with people who see things too differently from me for us to find a way of communicating that is satisfactory to both of us.
Oddly, despite wanting to conserve energy, my passive natural default usually keeps me from proactively seeking out and initiating connections that truly give me some mental or emotional juice and instead allow in a lot of needy or domineering people who drain energy by being exceptionally self-centered and uninteresting people. I think I'm improving in this regard, but that's kind of my mission in the next year to focus on.
Also, my unawareness of my own needs and feelings in the moment often results in forgetting to pursue things like socializing, exercise or reading for fun that would boost my energy levels significantly. Similarly, I often forget how what I'm eating may affect the way that I feel and the amount of motivation I have.
I think we don't compartmentalize well, so an emotional drain affects physical energy or wellness and physical takes a lot out of our emotional banks too.
Some examples of where I think I avoid or prefer certain things to conserve energy for a more useful or enjoyable purpose....
- Anticipating future problems of all sorts and going to heroic lengths to avoid them because I'm poor at acting on the fly. I'm not an organizer by nature except if the absence of leadership or organizing causes bigger problems than me taking it on would for me.
- Avoiding committees or other situations that involve group consensus because juggling everyone's wants and needs as well as my own takes more out of me than I get in return out of the experience.
- Over accommodating, not out of naivety or wimpiness, but because it's easier to manage myself rather than deal with other people's negative emotions or behaviours.
- If in doubt, going with what's familiar because I already know how I'll feel about it and how I want to react or respond. That's why I admire people who can get me to try new things. It takes me a long time to even figure out what I feel about something or make connections between my physical reactions and emotions, so unless I know it's going to be worth going out on a limb, I tend to play it safe.
- Becoming very avoidant or indulging Se quick fixes to feel better because dealing with problems where I have little way of affecting the outcome directly or can't see what to do takes too much out of me physically and emotionally.
- Analyzing cost/benefit of confrontation. Many think it's fear, bit i think it's more about conserving energy, at least for me. It's also why if I'm working closely with someone or they are part of my inner circle, they'll hear more of the negative unedited me than casual friends or acquaintances will. There is some degree of calculating social cost (which sounds gross to non Fe people), but it's also that the more entwined someone's life is with mine, the more it's worth it to try to communicate more completely. With others I wouldn't be inauthentic, but I would probably be quiet or disengage more if I couldn't find points of commonality.
- Disengaging with people who cause a lot of drama in the environment around them, or with people who see things too differently from me for us to find a way of communicating that is satisfactory to both of us.
Oddly, despite wanting to conserve energy, my passive natural default usually keeps me from proactively seeking out and initiating connections that truly give me some mental or emotional juice and instead allow in a lot of needy or domineering people who drain energy by being exceptionally self-centered and uninteresting people. I think I'm improving in this regard, but that's kind of my mission in the next year to focus on.
Also, my unawareness of my own needs and feelings in the moment often results in forgetting to pursue things like socializing, exercise or reading for fun that would boost my energy levels significantly. Similarly, I often forget how what I'm eating may affect the way that I feel and the amount of motivation I have.