Chimerical
Permabanned
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2008
- Messages
- 898
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 1w5
recently I've discovered I'm an INFJ that's developed his Thinking more so than the average INFJ. Kinda sucks....I'm less than 1% of the population, no wonder I'm misunderstood so much.
How this came about is important to mention. In childhood any expression of emotions was usually negatively looked down upon. My father was an ENTP and my mother and ESFJ. I was home schooled till 9th grade [age 15 since I didn't start till 2nd semester that year]. Then there was a family full of mainly SJ's and SP's who never quite understood why I did what I would do.
Any sign of sadness or depression was seen as "feeling sorry for oneself". So I wasn't allowed to feel. I was a very obedient child to the extent that I would do what I was told even when I was aware there was no way anyone would ever know I didn't. The way I sorted things out in my head wasn't much of an exception. I still did as told.
The reasoning was because I was a raised under a nondenominational Christian family. Combined with a strong will to save the world and my main desire was world peace since as far as I can recall. I read my Bible on a regular basis and studied it because I believed this was the one and only true God and the path to world peace. One of the things said was to honor and obey your mother and father, so I did to extreme extent.
This creates a slave child that will do anything their parents tell them. My parents told me that sadness and depression was just me feeling sorry for myself and I was yelled at for it. My Dad was the teacher in home school and focused mainly on Logic. Logic was drilled into my head all the time and I was told it is better to use logic an reasoning to decide something and that the way you feel should never be used to make a decision.
The result is an INFJ that thinks being and INTJ is the way he should be. When I was flooded with emotions I felt bad because I was told it was wrong. Unless it was me trying to help someone.
Overtime the hold church had on me was lifted. Ironically because logic and reasoning told me it doesn't make sense and didn't add up [why is a different story]. Once it was gone I was able to accept the way I felt a little more. Nothing changed overnight but I began to let myself feel more and more and was a lot happier and much more free spirited about things.
But there's still a lot there that hasn't been undone because when I take a test it spits out INTJ and never INFJ. When I read a description I fit INFJ more than INTJ. So here's one last thing.
My decisions always start with how I feel, but they're often finalized by logic and reasoning. Or F->T is the decision process. On the surface I appear as an INTJ. INfJ seems most accurate because roughly 75% of the decision process revolves around emotions.
On another note.
Ni
Fe
Ti
Se fits how I think more than
Ni
Te
Fi
Se
But I do use Te and Fi quite often. I'm guessing Ni has a lot to do with that.
How this came about is important to mention. In childhood any expression of emotions was usually negatively looked down upon. My father was an ENTP and my mother and ESFJ. I was home schooled till 9th grade [age 15 since I didn't start till 2nd semester that year]. Then there was a family full of mainly SJ's and SP's who never quite understood why I did what I would do.
Any sign of sadness or depression was seen as "feeling sorry for oneself". So I wasn't allowed to feel. I was a very obedient child to the extent that I would do what I was told even when I was aware there was no way anyone would ever know I didn't. The way I sorted things out in my head wasn't much of an exception. I still did as told.
The reasoning was because I was a raised under a nondenominational Christian family. Combined with a strong will to save the world and my main desire was world peace since as far as I can recall. I read my Bible on a regular basis and studied it because I believed this was the one and only true God and the path to world peace. One of the things said was to honor and obey your mother and father, so I did to extreme extent.
This creates a slave child that will do anything their parents tell them. My parents told me that sadness and depression was just me feeling sorry for myself and I was yelled at for it. My Dad was the teacher in home school and focused mainly on Logic. Logic was drilled into my head all the time and I was told it is better to use logic an reasoning to decide something and that the way you feel should never be used to make a decision.
The result is an INFJ that thinks being and INTJ is the way he should be. When I was flooded with emotions I felt bad because I was told it was wrong. Unless it was me trying to help someone.
Overtime the hold church had on me was lifted. Ironically because logic and reasoning told me it doesn't make sense and didn't add up [why is a different story]. Once it was gone I was able to accept the way I felt a little more. Nothing changed overnight but I began to let myself feel more and more and was a lot happier and much more free spirited about things.
But there's still a lot there that hasn't been undone because when I take a test it spits out INTJ and never INFJ. When I read a description I fit INFJ more than INTJ. So here's one last thing.
My decisions always start with how I feel, but they're often finalized by logic and reasoning. Or F->T is the decision process. On the surface I appear as an INTJ. INfJ seems most accurate because roughly 75% of the decision process revolves around emotions.
On another note.
Ni
Fe
Ti
Se fits how I think more than
Ni
Te
Fi
Se
But I do use Te and Fi quite often. I'm guessing Ni has a lot to do with that.
