Thalassa
Permabanned
- Joined
- May 3, 2009
- Messages
- 25,183
- MBTI Type
- ISFP
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sx
So for Christmas I sent my mom a book, on of those spirituality books, on believing to receive and having faith, and I pointed out to her especially the attitude about money thing for her, because this is a huge issue.
I think she has low self-esteem, there was a period in her childhood where my grandparents were separated and my mom lived with my grandmother and my uncle in a room of my very religious great-aunts house in rural North Carolina, and sometimes went to school dirty and crossed a country stretch of highway holding my five year old uncle's hand on the way to WALK to school when she was only ten.
My grandmother was very sick and refused to take proper care of herself. First of all, I think my mom internalized my grandmother's lack of self-care.
My grandmother I think had self-worth issues and died of cancer in middle age. Not her fault, I'm just saying.
Factually speaking.
So my mom internalizes this lack of proper self-care (often sacrificing for others in her old age, my mother has become a surprisingly good care giver in her old age, going from anorexic to slightly overweight, is a marvelous cook and has developed a talent for nursing aging relatives and autism spectrum grandchildren, so I give her credit where credit is due, MY MOTHER HAS COME A LONG WAY from being the near-skeletal woman who allowed her husbands and boyfriends to do things like break her leg and punch her).
My mom is actually VERY EVOLVED compared to where she used to be. My mom is a great lady, she's got a good heart, and I love her very much. My mother is a shining example to me and my sisters of a person who has done some work on overcoming major issues and succeeded.
But she has this lingering poverty conversation, and I think it's because she constantly relives those times from her childhood, which was surprisingly brief but impacted her somehow more strongly than living in Hawaii or being a teenager in high school at the city state capital? My mom was a cheerleader!
Anyway, so my mom idealizes her early childhood in Hawaii I think and wants to live at the beach.
Guess what folks? I NOW LIVE AT THE BEACH. I am so proud. I live in Santa Monica, CA. I want to shout it from the roof tops. I live in one of the absolute best beachfront cities on earth. It was actually listed in the top ten by National Geographic.
And someday, I want to own a house here. Someday, even if I have a two bedroom apartment, I want my mom to come live with me here.
I dream of my mother sitting on the beach in a lawn chair and resting for her golden years. She isn't 60 yet so I have time.
But crazy self-sabotaging lady even has tried to wrangle me away from the beach, saying things like North Korea is going to bomb us and I might die if I don't come back to West Virginia.
It's so ridiculous. Here I am building the life I've always wanted, I'm just now really exactly where I want to be, and it's taken me three years in Los Angeles county to get here, and she wants me to come home.
Mom, I am going to get you to the beach. Now STFU.
I think she has low self-esteem, there was a period in her childhood where my grandparents were separated and my mom lived with my grandmother and my uncle in a room of my very religious great-aunts house in rural North Carolina, and sometimes went to school dirty and crossed a country stretch of highway holding my five year old uncle's hand on the way to WALK to school when she was only ten.
My grandmother was very sick and refused to take proper care of herself. First of all, I think my mom internalized my grandmother's lack of self-care.
My grandmother I think had self-worth issues and died of cancer in middle age. Not her fault, I'm just saying.
Factually speaking.
So my mom internalizes this lack of proper self-care (often sacrificing for others in her old age, my mother has become a surprisingly good care giver in her old age, going from anorexic to slightly overweight, is a marvelous cook and has developed a talent for nursing aging relatives and autism spectrum grandchildren, so I give her credit where credit is due, MY MOTHER HAS COME A LONG WAY from being the near-skeletal woman who allowed her husbands and boyfriends to do things like break her leg and punch her).
My mom is actually VERY EVOLVED compared to where she used to be. My mom is a great lady, she's got a good heart, and I love her very much. My mother is a shining example to me and my sisters of a person who has done some work on overcoming major issues and succeeded.
But she has this lingering poverty conversation, and I think it's because she constantly relives those times from her childhood, which was surprisingly brief but impacted her somehow more strongly than living in Hawaii or being a teenager in high school at the city state capital? My mom was a cheerleader!
Anyway, so my mom idealizes her early childhood in Hawaii I think and wants to live at the beach.
Guess what folks? I NOW LIVE AT THE BEACH. I am so proud. I live in Santa Monica, CA. I want to shout it from the roof tops. I live in one of the absolute best beachfront cities on earth. It was actually listed in the top ten by National Geographic.
And someday, I want to own a house here. Someday, even if I have a two bedroom apartment, I want my mom to come live with me here.
I dream of my mother sitting on the beach in a lawn chair and resting for her golden years. She isn't 60 yet so I have time.
But crazy self-sabotaging lady even has tried to wrangle me away from the beach, saying things like North Korea is going to bomb us and I might die if I don't come back to West Virginia.
It's so ridiculous. Here I am building the life I've always wanted, I'm just now really exactly where I want to be, and it's taken me three years in Los Angeles county to get here, and she wants me to come home.
Mom, I am going to get you to the beach. Now STFU.
