[ISTJ] How to Escape Female ISTJ

[d@v3]

Davey, you've gotta teach that to me too!

What can I say Habba, I'm a jack of all trades.... master of none.

 

[Shaula]

I make a thread to cry out for help and all I get is ridculed! Your all going to be the death of me!

Stop diregarding the wubbie rule!

Okay... okay...

 

[d@v3]

Okay... okay...

LOL! YES! I have finally won an argument! No more wubbies!

 

[Cimarron]

Dave, you know how clueless we ISTJs can be to emotional cues--especially romantic cues (if that's what's going on here).

And I like Shaula's advice: put yourself in her shoes. That's personally how I handle things when someone asks me for relationship advice. (Well, first I advise them to find better advice. I point to my track record...)

If it's as you suspect, then it does create a really shaky situation, between student and teacher. I understand you there....

 

[heart]

Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free

Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free

Edit: But seriously (eons ago) I once broke up with an ISTJ male and it was like he couldn't understand simple English, couldn't hear "We're not together anymore" so I just had someone else answer the door each evening when he came by, learned not to pass by the bushes on the way into work (he jumped out of them in front of me to "pursuade" me) and had someone else answer the phone. After two weeks he ceased trying to contact me.

 

[Amargith]

LOL..awww, you don't enjoy being hunted and chased? Aren't you lucky you're male and don't get this *most of the time*

All kidding aside, somethings weird here. Did you guys have a bond before, some form of friendship? Or did she start clinging to you out of the blue? Coz maybe she is really just looking for a friend. I'd personally just relax and wait and see what happens..it's not like she is gonna force herself on ya..

I guess that's a typical ENFP response though

 

[d@v3]

Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free

Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free

What the hell?

Edit: Oh ok (I didn't see your "edit") but this is a girl ISTJ and I don't know how they work compared to us males?

 

[d@v3]

Dave, you know how clueless we ISTJs can be to emotional cues--especially romantic cues (if that's what's going on here).

And I like Shaula's advice: put yourself in her shoes. That's personally how I handle things when someone asks me for relationship advice. (Well, first I advise them to find better advice. I point to my track record...)

If it's as you suspect, then it does create a really shaky situation, between student and teacher. I understand you there....

Thank you Cimarron, I'm glad SOMEONE still takes me seriously! I'll keep your advice in mind. But aren't the ISTJ females much different than the males? I really don't know anything about them.

 

[NewEra]

Just tell her you want to be alone for a while. She'll probably understand.

 

[d@v3]

LOL..awww, you don't enjoy being hunted and chased? Aren't you lucky you're male and don't get this *most of the time*

All kidding aside, somethings weird here. Did you guys have a bond before, some form of friendship? Or did she start clinging to you out of the blue? Coz maybe she is really just looking for a friend. I'd personally just relax and wait and see what happens..it's not like she is gonna force herself on ya..

I guess that's a typical ENFP response though

Amargith, you just like to see me suffer!

I wouldn't mind being chased if it was a cute ENFP. Unfortunately, this obviously isn't the case. Well, as I said, in the beginning I could tell she was just looking for a friend, so naturally, I played along. However, more recently she has become persistent as if she had a goal in mind. (And I'm not even going to go there.)

I can't tell her that Chosen, that would be lie! Are you saying I should lie? She is still a friend regardless, and friends don't lie to friends. Besides, she saw me trying to hit on the ENFP so perhaps THAT is why she is trying to hunt me down and capture me!

 

[Cimarron]

But aren't the ISTJ females much different than the males? I really don't know anything about them.

From the posts I've seen by them about this kind of thing, they don't seem that much different. Unfortunately, they don't post as often as they used to.

I mean, they seem to have a stronger, more independent, resilient kind of attitude about them, but on lots of emotional things, they pretty much agreed with us.

 

[NewEra]

I can't tell her that Chosen, that would be lie! Are you saying I should lie? She is still a friend regardless, and friends don't lie to friends. Besides, she saw me trying to hit on the ENFP so perhaps THAT is why she is trying to hunt me down and capture me!

White lies are okay, if it gets you out of a mess like this. But if you don't feel comfortable doing that, then maybe you shouldn't, that's what I would do though. I lie to my friends a lot lol, but it's nothing serious so I don't give it a second thought. Once again, you don't have to do that, just a consideration.

 

[d@v3]

White lies are okay, if it gets you out of a mess like this. But if you don't feel comfortable doing that, then maybe you shouldn't, that's what I would do though. I lie to my friends a lot lol, but it's nothing serious so I don't give it a second thought. Once again, you don't have to do that, just a consideration.

Yes but since she already knows I am "looking for someone" I can't say I want to be alone. She's not stupid. lol.

And Cimarron, I remember the girls used to post alot more often too, I wonder where they are? Hmm.. well if you said they are like us with this type of thing then I will take your advice. I just can't say "I don't like you, now go away" for 3 reasons:

1) I don't have the heart to do it
2) It would ruin our regular friendship
3) I would get hit in the face

 

[NewEra]

Hmm... if you want to keep your friendship, then it's honestly a tough situation. You can tell her you like her, but just want to be friends.

 

[Geoff]

Yes but since she already knows I am "looking for someone" I can't say I want to be alone. She's not stupid. lol.

And Cimarron, I remember the girls used to post alot more often too, I wonder where they are? Hmm.. well if you said they are like us with this type of thing then I will take your advice. I just can't say "I don't like you, now go away" for 3 reasons:

1) I don't have the heart to do it
2) It would ruin our regular friendship
3) I would get hit in the face

A polite and firm "I'm flattered, but I just don't think of you like that". It's easier to just hit the nail head on here.

 

[Amargith]

+1 if you're sure she's hitting on ya, Geoff has the right response

 

[Tiny Army]

Awwww, you ISTJs are so confused when faced with feelings! It's adorable!

 

[Giggly]

Awwww, you ISTJs are so confused when faced with feelings! It's adorable!

Really.

Just wait until he gets a Feeler.

 

[Shaula]

I just can't say "I don't like you, now go away" for 3 reasons:

1) I don't have the heart to do it
2) It would ruin our regular friendship
3) I would get hit in the face

You are giving me the impression that although you might not want to hurt her feelings you also don't want to deal with the situation because you find it unpleasant. (Correct me if I'm wrong.) You are exaggerating the negative outcomes of being blunt. It is unlikely that she is going to hit you in the face unless she is openly violent. In that case you don't want to be friends with a person like that. If you are kind enough in your discussion with her it is also unlikely that you would ruin your regular friendship. You might use some self depricating humour to take the edge out of the situation. Bottom line: You're giving excuses to avoid confrontation...

Remember she is a ISTJ. She may be disappointed in hearing the bad news but she would probably rather hear the truth. Beating around the bush is more likely to piss her off/hurt her than being blunt.

 

[d@v3]

Awwww, you ISTJs are so confused when faced with feelings! It's adorable!

I'm not gonna lie. I do feel like a lost puppy dog.

Uhh anyway. Yeah, so I think you all are right. I'm just going to have to have a civil talk with her and I'll try to keep it at a professional level.

At least if she was a feeler she would be sympathetic in putting herself in my shoes, right? Not to mention she would take the dissapointment well since they are all the time optimistic!

I don't know if I'm trying to avoid the situation... and unpleasant is an UNDERSTATEMENT.