How do the different types flirt?

[Avocado]

What are their styles?

I honestly think I might have it wrong, but would ISTP or ESTP be the flirtiest?

 

[reckful]

I certainly don't hold myself out as a champ in the flirt department, but I'd say my default flirt mode is wiseassy teasing.

As I understand it, junior high school guys are somewhat infamous for assuming that girls like to be teased more than they actually do, and it may be fair to say that it's not particularly uncommon for an INTJ guy to never really outgrow that phase.

 

[BadOctopus]

I am painfully, stupidly direct when it comes to expressing romantic interest. If I had to describe my flirting style in one word, then that word would be "nonexistent".

 

[Avocado]

For me, I say things people take as flirting but isn't meant that way, and when I try to flirt for real, I get super nice and I can tell people aren't sure if I'm being friendly or flirting. I usually seal the deal by inviting somebody somewhere and opening my heart up more to them. This usually lasts a while, but I haven't found any one person who fits my ideals just so. I know relationships take work, but I'm looking for "the one." At least I'm looking when I'm not worrying about work. That said, if I don't find "the one" any time soon, its fine, because my priorities are on keeping my job, doing well at it, and staying secure. The "doing well at it," part has always been hard for me.

Anyhoo...anything beyond talk is hard for me. I've never actually kissed or got physical affection from anybody. I guess I'm afraid that if I do it, I'll ruin the connection if one is there at all. Moving beyond that will be hard for me.

 

[Passacaglia]

I am painfully, stupidly direct when it comes to expressing romantic interest. If I had to describe my flirting style in one word, then that word would be "nonexistent".

Same here.

Very very rarely I'll find myself in the middle of a flirtatious conversation, and I'll start thinking Shit, shit, how did this begin?! Must remember for future reference!

 

[grey_beard]

I am painfully, stupidly direct when it comes to expressing romantic interest. If I had to describe my flirting style in one word, then that word would be "nonexistent".

Kind of like how your namesake in your avatar is flirting with that frigate then.

 

[aanule]

I certainly don't hold myself out as a champ in the flirt department, but I'd say my default flirt mode is wiseassy teasing.

As I understand it, junior high school guys are somewhat infamous for assuming that girls like to be teased more than they actually do, and it may be fair to say that it's not particularly uncommon for an INTJ guy to never really outgrow that phase.

Ditto. Wise ass teasing. If I like you, I'm kinda mean to you. If I'm nice... I probably have no romantic interest.

 

[Galena]

I am painfully, stupidly direct when it comes to expressing romantic interest. If I had to describe my flirting style in one word, then that word would be "nonexistent".

This, pretty much. I don't make the decision to go for it lightly (in fact, making the choice to romance someone may be the most serious and deliberate thing I do, period), and when I've made it, I'm absolutely certain of it and confident in just saying so. The same goes for saying no, if I've decided a relationship is not a good idea.

More tease-y types have found my way cute.

 

[miss fortune]

I don't think that I'm flirting... I just tend to get excited about the same things that guys tend to get excited about and I laugh a lot...

... this apparently constitutes as flirting... who knew?

 

[Flâneuse]

Unless I'm feeling unusually intrepid, I'm painfully inept at flirting with people I like unless the other person has shown obvious interest first. I normally get really nervous around him, hide in my shell and have trouble acting "natural". Or I just try to be friendlier than usual without being obviously flirtatious, which usually ends up with me nervously, semi-coherently babbling until I finally have the good sense to shut up.

From my experience, Se-doms' flirting style is the most direct and aggressive, and ExFPs (especially ESFPs) come across as the flirtiest in general.

For me, I say things people take as flirting but isn't meant that way, and when I try to flirt for real, I get super nice and I can tell people aren't sure if I'm being friendly or flirting.

I see this a lot with ExFPs - they are sometimes prone to coming across as flirtier than they intend to because of a really warm, bubbly and friendly interaction style that can make them seem interested to people who don't know they're that friendly to many or most people.

 

[Frosty]

I would say an ESFP would be the flirtiest in the traditional sense. Se-doms probably intentionally flirt the most often.

SPs: Generally pretty good at flirting, I would say specifically that ISFPs would probably be the worst at it, but all in all I do not think any SPs would have a really difficult time of it. Able to observe someones behavior, and are generally able to run with whatever someone is saying in the moment to carry the conversation/flirting where they would like it to go. Generally do not get overly attached to the individuality of a person per-say, so are able to adjust and re-adjust to fit whoever they are with.

NFs- probably more avoid flirting until they are absolutely sure that there is an interest from the other person. Get emotionally involved with the idea of someone and then are hesitant to risk having their ideal version of that person challenged, so when they flirt it is more or less generally a long drawn out process of spilling their feeling for a person, which the other may or may not be aware existed.

SJs: This one is a bit hard. I would say that SJs would generally see the other person as a complimentary portion to themselves. They would go after the person who fits what they are looking for in a person, a partner, and/or an assistant. They would more likely want to shape the relationship, and would probably be the most likely to try to change parts of their partner that they do not personally like. Where as the NF would be disappointed when they found out something disagreeable about their partner and would probably try to regress away from the relationship, an SJ would be more likely to try to move forward and work with the punches.

NTs: Hmmm, this one is hard as well. Probably not the type most likely to flirt in the traditional sense. Possibly would become attached to how the person could stimulate them intellectually. Liable to fall in love with the personality and develop respect for a person before even realizing that they could have romantic feelings for them. Once the feelings do come out, they more than likely frighten the NT and since then NT is not completely used to dealing with strong emotions for sustained periods of time their romantic displays could possibly seem erratic to an outside observer.

These could all honestly be totally wrong, but took my best guess.

 

[BadOctopus]

Kind of like how your namesake in your avatar is flirting with that frigate then.

*flails tentacles* LOVE MEEEEEEEEEE

 

[SD45T-2]

*flails tentacles* LOVE MEEEEEEEEEE

 

[mintleaf]

eye contact, smiling a lot, teasing. rarely happens, though.

 

[Coriolis]

I certainly don't hold myself out as a champ in the flirt department, but I'd say my default flirt mode is wiseassy teasing.

Also sarcasm and snide remarks, veiled just enough to be a reasonable test of how quick and perceptive the other person is. Can easily escalate into argument or interrogation if things look promising.

 

[ceecee]

I don't think I flirt at all. If I want someone, I tell them. Mostly because I'm not good at flirting.

 

[great_bay]

I am attractive to how smart the person is. Conversations on interesting topics are good enough for a flirt. I don't think winking, or smiling doesn't amount enough for an intellectual conversation.

 

[grey_beard]

I am attractive to how smart the person is. Conversations on interesting topics are good enough for a flirt. I don't think winking, or smiling doesn't amount enough for an intellectual conversation.

Spoken like a true 5w4.
(Issues stamp: APPROVED)

 

[HongDou]

I just laugh a lot and get really smiley. Also I like teasing back and forth. And maybe a few fake-punches here and there.

 

[Avocado]

Unless I'm feeling unusually intrepid, I'm painfully inept at flirting with people I like unless the other person has shown obvious interest first. I normally get really nervous around him, hide in my shell and have trouble acting "natural". Or I just try to be friendlier than usual without being obviously flirtatious, which usually ends up with me nervously, semi-coherently babbling until I finally have the good sense to shut up.

From my experience, Se-doms' flirting style is the most direct and aggressive, and ExFPs (especially ESFPs) come across as the flirtiest in general.



I see this a lot with ExFPs - they are sometimes prone to coming across as flirtier than they intend to because of a really warm, bubbly and friendly interaction style that can make them seem interested to people who don't know they're that friendly to many or most people.

I kinda wish I could just walk up to some random girl and say "you, me, let's have an adventure together," and it work without getting punch thrown in my face (which I imagine is the most likely scenario...I could just get a punch, and not the fruity kind.).

Also, I wish I could make that next move once I get a Tagalong, but I feel like there's a proper way to do it and if I don't do it that way, it will creep the other person out, so I just get a bunch of girls in my friend zone, but no real dates.