[INTJ] Hate an INTJ? Tell us why!

[Forever]

I hate unhealthy INTJ's of which I know many.

Those particular types I find synonamous with " angry nerd" and "internet troll". The ones who have an obvious inferiority complex and turn it into a superiority complex, constantly trying to prove they are smarter than everyone else by angrily nit-picking everything everyone says and showing off useless knowladge. Who respond to everyone asking for help/advice/a basic question with some snide comment, over simplifying a problem that they would never have because they would just deal with it like a boss-no they would not because they are terrified of confrontation/talking to people. I had a few INTJ roomates/friends. I had to deal with all the social stuff like talking to the landlord or ordering at a fast food place. This is probably a trait shared by many I's, and I don't mind, leading and taking care of my own is what I do, it just bugs me in this particular context.

I probably shouldn't go any further. I really hate the angry nerd type, and while I find most angry nerds are INTJ's not all INTJ are angry nerds. Just the insecure/unhealthy ones. I just happen to be surrounded by them. I think it is the area I live in that attracts them like a magnet

Idk if it's showing off knowledge is their thing, nit-picky I believe is more in the P's domain than the J's one. I believe J's are more likely to be arrogant about themselves and how they treat others. Kind of awfully blunt. Social stuff? Sounds like inferior Fe imho.
Terrified of confrontation? The INTJ goes into confrontation, maybe not as much as the ENTJ like you say you are but I am heavily waging you're against INTP's not INTJ's.

 

[Fidelia]

I find with NJs generally they tend to stick to areas where they show quite competently, rather than doing much that requires vulnerability or looking foolish. Both also tend to give advice, but usually only when it is hard to argue with, and they are hard to convince that things can be any different than the way they see it. So probably when I run into the intj version, I dislike it because it reminds me of my own foibles but is just enough different that it feels slightly different than when I experience it from nfjs.

Intj te often leads to stating things without any qualifiers or seeming room for disagreement. On the other hand, I've found that they invite feedback more readily than nfjs and don't get as caught up in tone. That can be bad and good as they often hear the main message in a less clouded way, but they may miss some subtext that is conveyed by tone, so more sensitive types need to communicate much more bluntly if the message is going to be received and because they don't usually do that, they often err on being too brutal ot too subtle.

Like Nfjs, I think a lot of ntjs are rather formal and don't self disclose as much about issues in progress, which doesn't always invite closeness.

Intjs have a similar blindspot about enfps like infjs do for entps. That's not always bad, but they often don't see the crazy ones as obviously as other types do (we have an analogous problem).

 

[Abendrot]

I find with NJs generally they tend to stick to areas where they show quite competently, rather than doing much that requires vulnerability or looking foolish. Both also tend to give advice, but usually only when it is hard to argue with, and they are hard to convince that things can be any different than the way they see it. So probably when I run into the intj version, I dislike it because it reminds me of my own foibles but is just enough different that it feels slightly different than when I experience it from nfjs.

Intj te often leads to stating things without any qualifiers or seeming room for disagreement. On the other hand, I've found that they invite feedback more readily than nfjs and don't get as caught up in tone. That can be bad and good as they often hear the main message in a less clouded way, but they may miss some subtext that is conveyed by tone, so more sensitive types need to communicate much more bluntly if the message is going to be received and because they don't usually do that, they often err on being too brutal ot too subtle.

Like Nfjs, I think a lot of ntjs are rather formal and don't self disclose as much about issues in progress, which doesn't always invite closeness.

Intjs have a similar blindspot about enfps like infjs do for entps. That's not always bad, but they often don't see the crazy ones as obviously as other types do (we have an analogous problem).

Agreed. NJs are pretty much the stereotypical know-it-all type.

 

[Yuurei]

Idk if it's showing off knowledge is their thing, nit-picky I believe is more in the P's domain than the J's one. I believe J's are more likely to be arrogant about themselves and how they treat others. Kind of awfully blunt. Social stuff? Sounds like inferior Fe imho.
Terrified of confrontation? The INTJ goes into confrontation, maybe not as much as the ENTJ like you say you are but I am heavily waging you're against INTP's not INTJ's.

You are right, about confrontation. The people I'm talking about are just obcenely confrontational about really stupid insignificant shit like Marvel movies or video games They love to argue even if you agree for a different reason.
But...I don't know how to put this so I'll just give examples. If ever there is a real topic that they know could cause controvery they will immediatly put a strict ban on the subject. It might cause some conflict so they pretend it doesn't exist.
They like to play a lot of boardgames, one of thier favorites has/had a very slim chance to give one person the oppertunity to turn on the others-they immediatly threw it out. When I used to hang out with them weekly we'd all pick a place to eat. Everything was within walking distance. We could have split up and met back at our cars to go play games but we all HAD to agree on one single place and if someone didn't like that they just had to deal with it.
I tried going my own way. When I returned the tension could have been cut with a knife. Apparently all anyone could talk about at dinner was how super bitchy and unforgivable that was.
Hell, just lack week I made the passing comment "I don't like synthetic diamonds. I don't think there is anything special about them." The other person responded "Well, you're talking to the wrong person because I find them fascinating." Okay. I was going to ask why, but everyone had gone dead silent and was giving each other sideways looks like I just confessed to murdereding thier children.
.
So, it isn't a fear of confrontation, it's that any sort of conflict- by it's most basic definition-is seen in a very negotive context. The problem with thier silly little nerd-arguments is that they get so heated and vehement. A preference is something we all have and we should be able to say " I disagree" and not have the response be a volatile explosion of hatred and personal attacks and that is the kind of behavior I that just can't put up with.


Questing my type again huh? I get it, she don't have a successful business and doesn't enjoy wasting her time with petty fights over nothing -she couldn't possibly be an ENTJ!
You know those are stereotypes right? You know that while the MBTI is called a personality test, it has far more to do with how we receive, process, and use information, than it does actual personality? That "aggression" does not always mean what people simplify it to? That all MBTI have unhealthy habits and those are all things we can work on?
I am quite aggresive when I need to be; if I need to solve a problem, if something just needs to get done, if I really want/need something I find a way and I get it. I've had to be very aggresive for things most people take for granted-so maybe it's a slightly different perspective.
Why the hell would I waste my energy fighting over stupid shit that just doesn't matter?
People who bark at everything that moves are not succesful, compitent, tough, or strong -regardless of how loudly they tell you otherwise- and can lead nothing but lemmings to thier own demise: they are what we call jackasses.

 

[chubber]

^ I don't know, INTJs don't argue for the sake of arguing, so if they are engaged and talking, then they must be really interested in the subject, which is rare. If they are just arguing for the sake of arguing and playing devil's advocate then you might be dealing with an ENTP.

 

[Amargith]

^ I don't know, INTJs don't argue for the sake of arguing, so if they are engaged and talking, then they must be really interested in the subject, which is rare. If they are just arguing for the sake of arguing and playing devil's advocate then you might be dealing with an ENTP.

Actually, they do, when they're off duty and irked by someone. They have no qualms feeding someone a bunch of drivel, just to see how much they can get them to swallow - in particular when the person has made assumptions about their character and failing to see their 'logical fallacies' or is in some way overstepping their boundaries.

Tertiary Fi, aided by dominant Ni is evil, that way.

 

[chubber]

Actually, they do, when they're off duty and irked by someone. They have no qualms feeding someone a bunch of drivel, just to see how much they can get them to swallow - in particular when the person has made assumptions about their character and failing to see their 'logical fallacies' or is in some way overstepping their boundaries.

Tertiary Fi, aided by dominant Ni is evil, that way.

I see what you did there... and no, if someone makes assumptions, I let them continue to hang themselves. That is where all the pleasure is.

 

[Amargith]

I see what you did there... and no, if someone makes assumptions, I let them continue to hang themselves. That is where all the pleasure is.

Ive seen multiple INTJs do this, repeatedly, and gladly admit to it.

If you say you don't, I'll take your word for it.

That said, the examples YUI gave do sound more like Fe-users. INTJs tend to be all for efficiency, ime. They just get trollish when someone shows an innate lack of knowledge without being aware of it and especially when that person then starts assuming things about the INTJ based on the assumptions that come from that lack of knowledge and lack of awareness.

 

[chubber]

Ive seen multiple INTJs do this, repeatedly, and gladly admit to it.

If you say you don't, I'll take your word for it.

That said, the examples YUI gave do sound more like Fe-users. INTJs tend to be all for efficiency, ime. They just get trollish when someone shows an innate lack of knowledge without being aware of it and especially when that person then starts assuming things about the INTJ based on the assumptions that come from that lack of knowledge and lack of awareness.

Egging someone on is usually associated with Ne, I've seen INxPs do this as well.

 

[Amargith]

Egging someone on is usually associated with Ne, I've seen INxPs do this as well.

Every type does this, if you hit them close enough to irk em and make em wanna prod you back. They just have their own typical style to go about it. Some of the biggest trolls Ive known are Se-users who wouldn't know Ne if it bit them in the ass. And Fe-users use this shit just to make a socially clueless person as an example of how *not* to be to the rest of the group and turn them into their personal 'fool', before outcasting them socially and mocking them.

That said, I wont deny that Ne is a marvellous and very recognisable tool for this job.

 

[anticlimatic]

Jezebel, the administrator of the INTJforum. Or any INTJ in any kind of authority position for that matter. Dominant Ni plus inferior Se is a recipe for terrible leadership. Basically a warped perception of reality paired with an impulsive need to never be bothered with anything they subjectively don't like. Fill out the middle with Te/Fi and you've got a recipe for someone who thinks they're being objective when they're actually being incredibly biased. Just awful.

 

[chubber]

Every type does this, if you hit them close enough to irk em and make em wanna prod you back. They just have their own typical style to go about it. Some of the biggest trolls Ive known are Se-users who wouldn't know Ne if it bit them in the ass. And Fe-users use this shit just to make a socially clueless person as an example of how *not* to be to the rest of the group and turn them into their personal 'fool', before outcasting them socially and mocking them.

That said, I wont deny that Ne is a marvellous and very recognisable tool for this job.

Are you having fun?

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

My brother and two friends are INTJs. Inferior Se makes them wildcard partyers. They are that one friend that goes too far and we gotta leave the bar because someone is going to call the cops.

I had one INTJ friend dent his own car with a deadblow while we all stood around like wtf is going on...thought we were having fun until someone got angry at...nothing? Otherwise, pretty okay by me and not normally like that.

Also least likely to have a pet from what I have seen.

 

[Forever]

Took this from reddit: I still don't know what a Ni-Fi loop is. : intj

An example:
"Why did my SO just text me back without a period? Does that mean she's angry at me?" (Ni) "Now I'm worried that she's angry." (Fi) "What did I do? Is she actually angry or is she just sad and distancing herself? Is it even about me at all?" (Ni) "I don't deserve this kind of treatment. If she's upset, she should just tell me instead of being passive aggressive." (Fi) "How can I possibly tell her that I'm upset at how she's handling her feelings towards me without making her even more angry? How can I at least diffuse the situation?" (Ni) "God I'm so emotionally exhausted just thinking about this. This isn't my fault." (Fi)
And on and on and on.
To break this you need Te to step in: "Ok, I don't actually know how she feels and I'm just speculating. I should decide whether or not it's even worth bringing up, and if it is, how to bring it up in a way that seems sensitive to her feelings. If it's not worth it, I have to just let it go."

For all you struggling INTJ's.

 

[Coriolis]

Actually, they do, when they're off duty and irked by someone. They have no qualms feeding someone a bunch of drivel, just to see how much they can get them to swallow - in particular when the person has made assumptions about their character and failing to see their 'logical fallacies' or is in some way overstepping their boundaries.

Tertiary Fi, aided by dominant Ni is evil, that way.

This can also be a good way to test the other person's limits, or otherwise learn more about them.

I see what you did there... and no, if someone makes assumptions, I let them continue to hang themselves. That is where all the pleasure is.

If I have time, and if getting what I need done doesn't require correcting the assumptions. If it does, I will try to correct them gently. If I can't be bothered, I will leave them to their mistaken assumptions. If they are being obnoxious about it, though, I might actually say things that are truthful but support the assumption, until it is time to yank the rug out from under them abruptly.

INTJs tend to be all for efficiency, ime. They just get trollish when someone shows an innate lack of knowledge without being aware of it and especially when that person then starts assuming things about the INTJ based on the assumptions that come from that lack of knowledge and lack of awareness.

Sometimes I am curious about how the person arrived at their mistaken assumptions about me. If they aren't being obnoxious and seem reasonable, I will ask them directly. Sometimes, though, the information I would have to give to correct the assumption is none of their business, or I just don't want to get into it. In that case, it becomes almost a game to see how long I can talk to them without getting close to that subject.

As an example, I met a couple strangers awhile ago at an event hosted by my opera singer sister-in-law. I play piano and organ, and somehow it came up that we had performed together at church, for the elderly, etc. I could tell as our conversation continued that these people assumed I was a church musician by profession. (I am actually a physicist.) I saw no reason to correct this, and it was easy to answer them completely truthfully, but in a way that encouraged that view.

 

[Yuurei]

^ I don't know, INTJs don't argue for the sake of arguing, so if they are engaged and talking, then they must be really interested in the subject, which is rare. If they are just arguing for the sake of arguing and playing devil's advocate then you might be dealing with an ENTP.

Thanks for the thoughtful response but no, they are definitely not E.


But, you be onto something. It may be related more to their need to be right all the time. I find most of their arguments petty and annoying because they love to argue over opinions and preferences. As much as I love him my husband is awful at this. We often disagree about very insignificant games

I will say " I liked this game because of this."
He will respond "I liked that game too...but for a different reason"

Which is perfectly acceptable but that is not the end of it.

"...your reason for liking it stupid and wrong and these a thousand and one reasons why." and he'll viciously attack until I get up and leave because, oh my God, I just.Don't.Care.

...for ex. All of the people I was speaking of do this.

 

[Ursa]

Jezebel, the administrator of the INTJforum. Or any INTJ in any kind of authority position for that matter. Dominant Ni plus inferior Se is a recipe for terrible leadership. Basically a warped perception of reality paired with an impulsive need to never be bothered with anything they subjectively don't like. Fill out the middle with Te/Fi and you've got a recipe for someone who thinks they're being objective when they're actually being incredibly biased. Just awful.

I have never looked back since leaving INTJforum in 2013. I approve of the moderation on this site, but that place was something else. What was with the anal-retentive avatar size requirements there? However, that and the rules pertaining to staying on topic have me thinking that Jezebel is an unhealthy ISTJ.

 

[Evo]

Jezebel, the administrator of the INTJforum. Or any INTJ in any kind of authority position for that matter. Dominant Ni plus inferior Se is a recipe for terrible leadership. Basically a warped perception of reality paired with an impulsive need to never be bothered with anything they subjectively don't like. Fill out the middle with Te/Fi and you've got a recipe for someone who thinks they're being objective when they're actually being incredibly biased. Just awful.

 

[chubber]

I have never looked back since leaving INTJforum in 2013. I approve of the moderation on this site, but that place was something else. What was with the anal-retentive avatar size requirements there? However, that and the rules pertaining to staying on topic have me thinking that Jezebel is an unhealthy ISTJ.

Or INFP

 

[Ursa]

Or INFP

Really? I must have missed a lot. Sounds like there is a good story here.